i wont explain my whole story but basically latetly I have really been pondering what is the point of life? and because I cant come up with a answer it has been leading me to some really bad thoughts

im a bit awkward and dont make mates easy and when I finally make a friend - I think great, put my trust in them and would do anything they asked. helping out with money or emotional problems, whatever it would be. and always ever since I can remember the friend ends up doing the wrong thing by me. But I must be a succer for punishment because I keep wanting to make a new friend and tell myself no he is different.

but ppl are all the same. They only care about themselves.

and the one person who I love and care about more than anything in the world has basically told me to go and get f**ked and done everything possible that she knows will hurt me emotionally. she just keeps stabbing the knife in deeper and deeper. one thing after another to try and rip me apart a bit more.

its worked.

I have never had time off work before and have now had over 2 weeks off. I went back yesterday and after a hour had to come home because I felt like my whole world was crashing down.

I dont want to die, but Ive got no reason to keep living.... I cant make mates because every single mate I have had has done the wrong thing by me, I dont want a partner because again it seems I put all the effort and love into the relationship and they dont really care either way. My family are ok, but  they will never treat me as the boy i am. I will never be invited to go fishing with my father or 4wheel driving with my brother-in-laws.... i dont know Ive just lost the way at the moment.

does anyone else get like this?

I dont want to die and i hate having sucidial thoughts but I dont know how to stop it either. I just cant believe ppl that I love and trust so much always end up doing the wrong thing by me and think nothing of it. if i were to die, im sure they would rather that then have to admit they didnt do the right thing by me. I just dont understand why ppl are so mean?? why would i want to make mates after everything they have done to me? and without mates and other ppl that you care about and care about you, what is the point of it all?

Depression sucks.

Find a good counselor/therapist and/or a doctor you can trust if you don't already have one. 

Yes, people suck.  Yes, they only care about themselves.  I had to learn the hard way to SAY NO and to put myself first and basically BE SELFISH, otherwise yeah, people walk all over you.  And somehow the word gets out and those that are looking for a doormat always seem to find one.

Life is worth living, but when you're drowning it's hard to see that.  Grab a lifeline and hang on.  We're here for you.

And if you don't have anyone you can call please call a suicide prevention hotline when you get those bad thoughts.  BTDT.


Jay

Most people ARE self involved, in some areas/cultures they really are just about all real jerks. I dunno what to say because good friends are hard to come by even in areas where people are more "real" than in most areas.

I agree with the above about seeing a counselor etc.

Also and this is my 2c, do something cool like volunteer, help out somehow and you may meet some cooler people. Look into skills where you help people, in my own case I'm studying to become an EMT (and later paramedic) and I'm in it because it's interesting to me, but it occurred to me recently that well, people may think it's kinda cool too.

Talk to your therapist if you have one, get out and do something. Even if that's just walking around a mall or someplace.

Keep yourself busy, I know it doesn't get rid of the thoughts, but at least do something everyday so you don't completely hole yourself in and make matters worse. Trust me, I'm just slowly coming out of what you're feeling right now. It might not be the same exact story, but I have an idea how you're feeling right now. I was getting extremely suicidal myself and I hated it.

I saw my family doctor and even though anti-depressants had never worked for me before, I decided to start taking them again anyway. I started trying to do something other than keeping myself inside. And I feel a lot better now.

My best advice to you is to just do something and if you already are then keep at it.

Quote from: alexkidd on October 26, 2009, 11:01:34 PM
i wont explain my whole story but basically latetly I have really been pondering what is the point of life? and because I cant come up with a answer it has been leading me to some really bad thoughts.

...but ppl are all the same. They only care about themselves.

I dont want to die, but I've got no reason to keep living....

I dont want to die and i hate having sucidial thoughts but I dont know how to stop it either.

I have no advise but I'm in the same place too. My life just sucks all over right now. Every day I entertain the thought of picking everything up and leaving- starting fresh somewhere new. Oh, and humans are inherently self absorbed, selfish and care only about themselves. That's just how they are, so get used to it.

AlexKidd

Not everyone is that way.  That's why we keep looking. 

friends are great... but they're just people. people are kind of dumb sometimes... don't know what we want and don't know what we have... those friends who let you down don't see what they're missing with you, unfortunately. hopefully some day they'll come around.

friends i can count on a lot, but the only one any of us can really count on is God. 

not trying to start a religious discussion, but if you're looking for advice, what better place to look than to your maker? <3

I wholeheartedly second the idea of getting out and volunteering. Go find something you want to do (save puppies, clean beaches, build parks, whatever floats your boat) and -do- it. It'll help you feel better about yourself (it's hard to feel like you're a valuable person with people always treating you like crap), and yes, you might meet some people whom you can get on with.

The other suggestion, is to try not to be so trusting. Keep yourself closed up a little, and make them earn you. If you give them everything you've got right off the bat, they're probably not gonna stick around long enough to develop a good friendship with you and come to value you as a person. You're clearly a very valuable and useful friend to have, so make sure they're worth it, make sure they deserve someone like you.

Good words, Cody.

yeah I agree with cody. Life gets hard you know? I was at the point where I didn't want to die because if I did it would actually hurt people around me even if it seems like they don't care but at the same time I hated feeling so empty inside and watching everybody have friends and what not and I wondered how come I couldn't you know? It helped out a lot just getting out and taking my mind off the thoughts, it was hard but when your out you have to just try and move through it. Yeah try even talking with a therapist. It seems stupid at first but they do help out a lot you know?