How many (if any) of you buy female clothing for yourself while dressed as male? I have bought panties. socks, tops, or jeans but before long I am going to need a bra if for no other reason than to hide my nips which are now clearly visible in most of the shirts I wear. Have any of you bought bras while dressed as male? While I usually have not recieved much attention from other women while shopping, there have been one or tow who looked at me like I was crazy for even being there. Maybe their insecurities were showing that day. I need to go look for a bra but am feeling a bit insecure myself today.

Randi

Is it possible to go shopping as your real, girl self? What's holding you back?

Before going full time, I did the same thing as you. I bought plenty of clothes, even shoes as my former self. Hardly anyone ever paid much attention. All the while, my friends would ask why I didn't go home and change first. I guess it was fear or I had some hang ups.

Then one day I found some nice pants and a sweater that I really wanted to try on. The woman at the register stopped me from going in and trying them on. I realized then how silly this whole matter had become.

A few months later, I was out in the lingerie section shopping for bras. I was a little surprised to be approached by a young sales girl who asked if I wanted to go back into the changing room to try them on. She even offered assistance, if I needed a fitting! Talk about a refreshing change.

Of course, now I can go shopping anywhere at anytime. The only thing holding me back is money. Come to think of it, I don't think the men would feel comfortable with me going back into their changing rooms! 

Quote from: juliekins on October 30, 2009, 01:20:16 PM
Of course, now I can go shopping anywhere at anytime. The only thing holding me back is money. Come to think of it, I don't think the men would feel comfortable with me going back into their changing rooms! 

Yeah, they probably would, but nobody thinks anything of a girl picking up some guy pants or shirts and trying them on.

Not that I would (*yuck*), but I would have no worries if I did.

Interesting how things change when you switch camps. 

-Sandy

There are only two things holding me back, Julie-I don't look very feminine yet (in my opinion) and dressing as a woman is not accepted at home(married 20 years with a teenage son).
I am just getting started and am a work in progress LOL. I haven't started make up or entire outfits, shoes, etc. The most I have done is jeans and top and even then I just went to a friends house so it wasn't really out in public view. I long for the day that I can go out as female but will need plenty of help before that day arrives. My hair while it is shoulder length is thin and cut like a male-yuk. I am learning how to style it in different ways though and can get the basic shape I want it to have. I have to do my shopping while away from home-say during my lunch break or after work. I need to get a bra or figure how to layer on so as to hide my nips especially at work.

If you have suggestions for someone who is essentially clueless about style and fashion, I am all ears!!

Thanks a bunch,
Randi

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Post Merge: October 30, 2009, 01:50:53 PM

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Hello Sandy,

When I am shopping I am too afraid to try something feminine on-I should try to change that and soon. If I had someone to go with me it might be easier but that also might be used as a crutch so I will have to think about it. Yes I am afraid/terrified/mortified-now that I have identified it I can better deal with it-Yes/No??? OMG, what a wimp I have become. It is one thing to think about what others will think of me when they aren't there but is another to actually put it into practice. Yep, it would appear that I'm a wimp of the highest order!

Bye for now,
Randi

The one time I bought a bra my daughter was with me. I already knew my band size (42) as I'd measured my chest. I then took a guess that C would be appropriate sized cups based on my height (6'1") and weight (190#).

I'm a cross-dresser whose not on hormones and hasn't had FFS. If I shave with a new blade, I can have a shadow, well instantly. So, passing without concealing makeup is impossible for me. I was in full guy/dad mode when I bought the bra. I didn't try it on in the store, though.

Quote from: Randi on October 30, 2009, 01:39:10 PM

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Post Merge: October 30, 2009, 01:50:53 PM

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Hello Sandy,

When I am shopping I am too afraid to try something feminine on-I should try to change that and soon. If I had someone to go with me it might be easier but that also might be used as a crutch so I will have to think about it. Yes I am afraid/terrified/mortified-now that I have identified it I can better deal with it-Yes/No??? OMG, what a wimp I have become. It is one thing to think about what others will think of me when they aren't there but is another to actually put it into practice. Yep, it would appear that I'm a wimp of the highest order!

Bye for now,
Randi

Randi:
Hon, don't worry, we've ALL been there!  Going with a friend isn't a crutch as long as you learn to sail on your own, though I can understand how you could be worried about passing.  My daughter, her mother-in-law and I went out to the mall one day and I was shaking like a leaf in a hurricane!  Though very quickly I did settle down.  No one questioned three women out on a shopping binge.  Following that I gained much more confidence in going solo.  Even getting read wasn't such a big deal.  I hated it of course, but I knew I had to push on and get past it.

And you are no wimp!  You are about to embark on a most fundamental change of life!  It *is* scary!  Realize, Randi, that very few people could handle the crushing burden of GID.  We wouldn't wish this on our worst enemy, yet we must endure.  And we do.  And we thrive.  You are facing your fears for perhaps the first time in your life.  Congratulations hon!!!

Also too, one thing you might try is to go to the ladies apparel and ask for a sports bra for your wife.  Here's where you can play the "scared male" card.  Most clerks will take pity on you and just hand you what they think your "wife" will need.  These are pretty nondescript and require no fitting.  Just use your band size and tell them that she is a small cup size like a B/C if they ask.  It will give you some support and protect your tender pubescent nipples.  Also as you grow (and you will), it can provide you with enough compression that you probably won't show any bumpiness under a loose shirt.

Don't forget to post us to let us know how it goes!  You'll do fine!

-Sandy

I do it quite often. If something looks good it doesn't matter how I am dressed. I just buy it. Several days ago while looking at skirt a lady who was stocking the clothing racks pointed out to me that I was looking in the womens clothing rack. I told her that I'm aware and wear these. Any more questions.

Sandy,
Thank you so very much for the reassurance and much needed advice. I was at Wally World the other day at lunch looking at the sports bras but not knowing anything about cup sizes-couldn't make myself take one to the check out line. I usually like my tops and pants to fit tight. I am now slowly starting to rethink this-since I am getting looks at my chest. I am finding that I am much more modest & fearful than I thought I was.

I have dealt with much fear and anguish in my lifetime & still I deal with it. Yes I agree GID is a heavy burden and at times seems that it will destroy me but the fighter deep within me will not yield without a fight. With friends like you I'm sure I'll be fine.

Love,
Randi

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Post Merge: October 30, 2009, 03:11:37 PM

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Shadesof grey-Thanks for sharing. I think this will be my next project-buy something and try it on while I am there at the store.

Genevieve-You go Girl!! That's the mindset I would like to have-lots of brass/no fear. I need you to go shopping with me!

Randi

You know, I used to have all of these fears about shopping.  Honestly, now I shop for whatever I need, no matter how I dress.  And really (this was the biggest shock) NOBODY CARES.  My brother is a single dad with 2 teenage girls.  He buys all their stuff.  Yes. I mean all of it!  No one looks at him funny either.  So please don't worry.  Things will be just fine.  Get what you need.
 
(You might want to avoid holding things up against you to check the size.)

Kristi

Kristi, LOL I did get a LOOK because I held a tshirt dress against me to check the fit. Another shopper just happened to round the corner as I was doing it. I turned red as a beet and couldn't get out of there fast enough!

Bye the way, I hope you don't mind my saying so but I love your avatar pic-you are gorgeous! I can tell you have really worked hard to develop your look. You give me something to hope for!

If there are any kinds of makeup you love or others to stay away from I would love to hear about it and need advice on matching skin tones-I really know nothing about it at all.

I am getting pretty good at painting my nails though. I even got my Mom to paint them for me while we were in Florida a couple of weeks ago. I can remember her painting mine when I was very small and for a few minutes I felt like a little girl again.

Later,
Randi

ps-I also found out the hard way about Nair!!

If you want a silly confidence tip that works for virtually everything including make-up.....

CARRY A MOBILE PHONE ! 

Just hold it to your ear and walk around looking bored, when you find something you like stop and say...

"yes dear found it...what shade was the shade/size...hold on a minute...yep they have that..."

..holding the phone does become a bit of a bind, but usually by then you have what you want ...

..same thing applies at the checkout if you are still nervous.. 



Chrissty

Quote from: Chrissty on October 30, 2009, 06:01:30 PM
If you want a silly confidence tip that works for virtually everything including make-up.....

CARRY A MOBILE PHONE ! 

Just hold it to your ear and walk around looking bored, when you find something you like stop and say...

"yes dear found it...what shade was the shade/size...hold on a minute...yep they have that..."

..holding the phone does become a bit of a bind, but usually by then you have what you want ...

..same thing applies at the checkout if you are still nervous.. 



Chrissty

genius!

When there is an SO & children are involved, giving advice, even through experience, is a whole different beast. I have a full grown Son going off to Afghanistan very soon, but my ts issues are positively resovled in the best of ways with him. I am very lucky & wish to help yet I don't know how other than to suggest you're not likely to be judged in harsh terms here. None of us are perfect, & we all carry scares. I've yet to hear of a "right" way to trans. If you need to yell, scream, & cry you're among those who have, do, & will.   

Quote from: Randi on October 30, 2009, 01:39:10 PM

If you have suggestions for someone who is essentially clueless about style and fashion, I am all ears!!

Thanks a bunch,
Randi

Hi Randi,

It is indeed a long road, best wishes for finding the path right for you!

One tip might be to get fashion magazines.  Don't look at the runway pictures, that's 'clown' stuff, but the other content is great.  There are plenty of tips on styles, makeup, skin care, etc  .. and just looking through the magazines will help you develop a better sense of different fashions and looks.  I subscribe to 4 different ones (Flare, Elle Canada, Lou Lou, Fashion), and you can get all of these cheap with those package plans, like speedy mags, etc.   I've found reading through them the last couple of years to be a wonderfully useful resource for style for the day to day life, as well as seasonal looks, and special events etc

For Fall / Winter, get a scarf, they are so IN    You can throw them on top of anything for that extra pizazz.

Good Luck!, *huggs*,
Melan

I have a few tips that helped me when I first started...

Go on a weekday, and be out before 5:30, the shopping populace changes at that time.
Avoid sales!!!  The women can get quite territorial.
Birthday cards. Carrying one is a get out of jail free card while shopping.

Eventually you realize you don't really need anything but the confidence to do it. No one really cares or pays attention so long as you act like you belong there. Act nervous and are hiding something and everyone will start to wonder and watch.

Quote from: Randi on October 30, 2009, 09:42:57 AM
How many (if any) of you buy female clothing for yourself while dressed as male?

About 6 years ago, when my hair was very short, looking like a typical dad, I purchased 3 white thongs which I am wearing right now. It was a department store in the U.S. I strolled along the lanes while grasping them in my left hand. Suddenly I realized that even women would not do that. I hurried to the cashier counter.

The pretty young cashier asked me "Is this yours?"

I did not reply, as I thought it's not her business.

About 3 years ago, I chatted with a woman owner when I tried to purchase a girdle. I asked her whether she has met any male customer who purchased a girdle. She said she saw some. I asked why those men purchased it, and so on.

Anyway, she gave me a girdle and said to me it is for unisex. I insisted that I want one exclusively for women. Finally I got one and later I realized that there is no such unisex stuffs, at least for girdles.

Barbie~~

I did the cell phone thing for quite a while.  It did work great until it rang in the middle of a "conversation" in the bra dept.      Be sure to turn your ringer OFF!

And I don't avoid sales at all.  I actually DO belong there.  And so do you if you want.  Never, ever, pass up a clearance rack either.  No one does.

What can we answer as far as makeup?  That is a big subject.

And thanks for the wonderful (though undeserved) compliments.

Kristi

Hi Randi.

As others have said it's the confidence thing, I buy in male clothes and of course as me. Never have had a problem. A few of the old tips. Measure your waist size, halve it and measure that distance from your fingers along your arm. Mark that spot. When looking for skirts etc just hold it in your measured arm and see if it fits. Simple and quite accurate. As time goes on and you get comfortable try the boutiques, they are quieter than the large stores and you can usually get spme help. The first time is the worst!! "I like this, do you think it will fit me?" The clerk has two options, serve you or ask you to leave. If it's the first you now have a store to come back to whenever you wish. If it's the latter, leave. BTW, being asked to leave has NEVER happened to me. I do have stores now in which the girls know me as Cindy and in male garb. They help out always; as Cindy I just use the dressing room. In drab they usually check the size for me and suggest larger or smaller, and to bring it back if it doesn't fit.

I think it is true that the biggest fear is fear. After that as others have said, no one cares, you are a sale.

Happy Shopping

Cindy

Buying female clothes while dressed as a male scares me to death because i think that everybody in the store is staring at me so i have a female friend of mine buy clothes for me.

Juanita-The 1st time I bought anything for women was at Kmart and I got a pair of stretch jeans and some panties. I was nervous but I got thru it fine. The girl at the checkout never looked at me twice. I did however get nervous when looking at bras and have yet to try anything on at the store-that's next.
Cindy-Thank you so much for the tip-I'll remember it. I have never been very confident at least until I studied martial arts but still have my moments of weakness even now. That's when I force my will to comply with what my mind wants to do.

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Post Merge: November 01, 2009, 11:12:36 AM

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Kristy, Hi and how are you? I can see it now-me talking away and the cell phone ringing while I am talking-hilarious probably to watch but not to experience Yes? I always check the clearance racks since I don't have too much difficulty finding something that will fit-at least in pants and tops. My immediate need for makeup is something to help with dark shadows under my eyes. I just hate the way they look in the morning so I need something that matches my skin tone. I am also having a time lately with my hair-it has a mind of it's own, it's too thin and is getting longer so it weighs more now and sometimes looks Ratty to me. Of course I'm my own worst critic LOL.

Thanks alot,
Randi

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Post Merge: November 01, 2009, 12:24:32 PM

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Barbie-I have also thought of buying a girdle. I have never had problems keeping my abs under control until this year. I also have eaten more candy and ice cream (Mmmm) this year too. I have had to completely swear off of the sweets and have doubled up on my abs routine-well sometimes.
LeslieAnn-That's pretty good about the birthday card-when I am not confident I will use it, Thanks.
Melan-I will go get some magazines this week. I got to read some while waiting at the doctors office the other day and loved it. I wear a scarf while riding my motorcycle when it's cold outside and will begin looking for things to coordinate colors with, thanks. Is that you in your avatar pic-if so you are very pretty. I do not have any pics of me yet but my avatar is slose to how I want my hair to look.

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Post Merge: November 01, 2009, 01:36:03 PM

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Bellaon7- Thank you for the kind words. The past couple of days have been rough ones and have taken a toll on my SO and myself. My son is 16 and while he doesn't know I am TG he asks occasionally if I am gay. I just pass it off as a joke and we go on. If he did know I do not believe he would have an issue with it-but fI'm not quite ready to go there yet.

Chrissty-that is a good idea about the cell phone but like Kristi I can just see myself talking on it and having it go off in front of a crowd of women shoppers-Yikes. Yes I think I will use that but will be certain that it is silenced!! Thanks! I love your hair the way it is fixed in the avatar pic-that's a lovely color.