I have never had a problem buying women cloths in male mode. a lot of times my wife come with me, but many times I go myself.
People are going to think what ever they want, and you can't stop them, but most don't care.
If your really nervous when you get to the cashier do what I did the first couple of times, and ask for a gift receipt, and mumble something like I hope she likes this !

Jamie

Looks like it's time to post this link again:

How To Buy A Dress In Public

Quote from: Pristine Angie, 1999Say you are dead thirsty and you sit down in a public bench and start to drink a glass of water, and someone comes by and tells you can't drink a glass of water; how do you look at them? THAT is the look you give anyone who is glaring at you.

And, yes, try clothes on at the store, not only for fit, but to see how it looks on you. I can usually tell whether a top will look good, but pants, well, you never know, and skirts can be surprisingly flattering or unflattering -- and don't even think about buying a dress you haven't triend on. That's just dumb.

If you're worried about using fitting rooms, just ask a clerk where you can try on the clothes you are buying. There are two possible outcomes: either they will show you the nearest fitting room, or they will lose your business. The former is much more likely.

I'm not sure what you're afraid of. I did this years ago when I was in college and never had problems. They even let me try on a dress in a women's shop without blinking. I admit before I did this I was very nervous, but once I stepped out I never had problems.

The key word here is FEAR and I just have to deal with it. Last night I decided that I am going to one of the major stores near here and get fitted for my 1st bra. I am going in there and just tell them what I want and be done with it. What else can they say besides either 'Oh Hell No' or 'Come this way and lets check your measurments' so either way won't kill me.

Randi

I'm sure a lot of it depends on where you live, in Shades case, the Bay Area, its hard to get people to even blink about most stuff anymore.  Sioux Falls, perhaps not so much.

But stores are really hurting for money, for sales of any sort right now.  I'd have a hard time turning away any business these days.  Besides guys buy stuff for women all the time, just act like you know what you are doing, the bumbling routine only attracts attention.

And thrift stores rock, you just have to keep going back as sort of a habit, good stuff don't last, but it does come through.

Confront the internalized transphobia, face it and move through it and consider yourself most worthy.  They are privileged to have your business and the world is a better place every time one of us decides to be her self.

Quote from: Randi on November 05, 2009, 07:15:26 AM
The key word here is FEAR and I just have to deal with it. Last night I decided that I am going to one of the major stores near here and get fitted for my 1st bra. I am going in there and just tell them what I want and be done with it. What else can they say besides either 'Oh Hell No' or 'Come this way and lets check your measurments' so either way won't kill me.

Randi

Good for you!  *huggs*!!!!!

Melan

Quote from: tekla on November 05, 2009, 09:15:14 AM
And thrift stores rock, you just have to keep going back as sort of a habit, good stuff don't last, but it does come through.

Hi, my name is Shades, and I'm a thrift-aholic.

Well I went to JC Penny yesterday and met a very friendly lady in the intimates section. When I got there there wasn't anyone around and she took my chest measurement, showed me some options and other things I might also want, and that's when things got interesting. I can't imagine where all these women were hiding but when I looked behind me there were 12 or 13 women waiting there and this poor woman was helping me-taking my measurements! I'm sure you would have thought it was hillarious but the lady helping me got so embarrassed and nervous I just felt so sorry for her and said "would it be better if I came back when not so many people are here?"  She could only shake her head in the affirmative so I took what I was holding to the counter and told her I would try these on at home (as she couldn't let a guy use the dressing rooms (bummer) and come back later.

So this was my 1st outing to buy a bra-I also wound up getting a waist cincher but I will take that back too.

Later,
Randi

Oh Randi!  You've got balls girl!  I hope you can learn to laugh at the funny parts of experiences like this.  And I hope you are proud of yourself for going and accomplishing what you have. 

Kristi

Hey Kristi!!! It's good to hear from you as always. I wish you could have been there with me. I guess as long as I am able to laugh at myself I must be doing pretty good, Yes? My therapist says I have a good frame to work with and should be pretty when I am made up. I felt so good when she told me that I almost cried. I long for the day when I can see me in the mirror looking like the woman I see in my mind's eye every day. Before, I really had no idea how great that idea could make me feel-but I feel it now! and won't ever turn back. God Bless Us Every One!

Sorry, I didn't mean to get so emotional but I feel so free today. Maybe my estrogen level is high today because I am just so happy I want to shout it from the rooftop-I am a woman and I am HAPPY about it!!!!

Love,
Randi

Quote from: Kristi on November 06, 2009, 09:07:41 AM
Oh Randi!  You've got balls girl!

Not exactly the choice of words I would have used, Kristi, but I agree. That was a gutsy thing to do, Randi. I must confess that while I've bought outerwear in the store, I've never bought a bra in one. My first bra came from the Vicky's Secrets catalog and was too small, but I made it fit with a bit of stitch work. Once I learned I could wear a 36A OK, mail order shopping was easy, though sizes do vary even so.

Lyric

Quote from: Randi on November 06, 2009, 09:28:48 AM

Sorry, I didn't mean to get so emotional but I feel so free today. Maybe my estrogen level is high today because I am just so happy I want to shout it from the rooftop-I am a woman and I am HAPPY about it!!!!

Love,
Randi

I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!!!

Great progress, Randi!  It gets easier with every step.

Congratulations!

-Sandy

I just went out to Macy's and got a miracle suit that came up to my chest and while it felt great lower down, it gave me the most hideous set of 'back titties' I have ever seen on someone my size and wouldn't seem to stay up. Needless to say that thing will go right back to the store!  I guess I'll get back into shape the old fashioned way just so I'll never have to see that again LOL. Quick fixes rarely give us what we want and I know it.

Hi Sandy, At the very least I got over my fear of shopping in the ladies section and I am still laughing at myself-you would have too if you had been there. I'll just have to be patient and shape up. 

Trying on bras at the store? A lot of women, if not most, don't do that either, which is part of the reason a lot of women have ill-fitting bras. Though swimwear is different -- you have to see how it looks.

The last time I was at VS, they told me they'd give me a discount on a new line of bras if they could take my measurements and I tried it on at the store. I declined the offer. One of these days I'll get measured, I guess, but I'll wait until my breasts decide upon a size; 36A works well enough for now. It's not as though I have gigantic knockers tugging at my chest with each step.

I just saw your location in your profile. My condolences -- it's not the most trans-positive place in the world. But at least outside of the intimates section, I stand by the "Where can I try this on?" tack, rather than "Might you grant this poor wretched ->-bleeped-<- access to the forbidden regions of the women's changing room?" And seriously consider taking a friend.

Quote from: Alyssa M. on November 01, 2009, 11:07:16 PM
...and don't even think about buying a dress you haven't triend on. That's just dumb.

I don't know, I buy all my dresses online (at this point everything), and 99% of the time they look great.  The only problems I have had have been buying some things from Target where the dress is just way too large.  Maybe I'm just lucky?

The first time I went to the intimates section as myself, I felt comfort being there.  I belonged there.  Other women didn't look at me funny or anything like that.  It was a revelation.

I remember when I went to by my very first set of panties when in drab (I didn't dare try to buy a bra!) I was shaking like a leaf!  My head was spinning like a radar antenna trying to see if the other women were watching me, thinking that I was some sort of pervert trying to feel the ladies undies.

I went through checkout with a bunch of other things to camouflage it and I thought the checkout lady would find the panties and call the police or something.  Fortunately she just scanned it and kept going.  I thought I was going to faint!

It's interesting that we, who are so driven to change, traumatize ourselves in these simple life experiences.

Yeah, I look back at these episodes (and some where I did get tagged!) and grin at the terrified little girl trying to give birth to herself.  But she could do nothing else.  Birth is inevitable.  Breathing the air of freedom is intoxicating and nothing can send you back to where you were.

Had I been there I'm sure we would have had a good laugh over it!

-Sandy

Alyssa, If someone said they would measure me and give a discount I would be all over it-I'm all about saving a dollar here or one there. I want one bra for my own comfort zone and another for covering up the details for everybody else. My breasts aren't large but I feel them bouncing more and more. I kind of like it sometimes. Condolences recieved and acknowledged-I would love to have someone to go places shopping with but don't know anyone here that might be interested.

I heard about a support group here but you have to pay dues to belong so I will remain by myself for a while longer. It's enough for me right now to go see my therapist and talk here at Susan's. My friends (2) are gone (deceased) several years now and this adds to my distress. This is one reason that I am so thankful for all of you here-I feel that I belong here and you understand the lonliness that I feel when I am weak. Sorry I'm getting emotional again.

I am afraid that I am learning how addictive and FUN clothes shopping can really be. I have researched the topic to death and figured if I wanted to learn sizes (and how inconsistent they can be) I would just have to get a grip on my fear and look in the stores. I have also enjoyed watching peoples reactions to my presence-most people are so uptight. Hey wait-I resemble that remark!!! 

Yes Sandy, we would have been rolling with laughter-I still have to laugh thinking about it-it was priceless.

Oh, dear, I'm sorry about your situation. That sounds just awful! I could never have begun my transition without the support of a community around me, which took me a long time to find since I was always so shy and awkward -- in large part because I'm trans. It's a nasty catch-22. I hope you can find the support and strength you need.

As for VS -- well, the bra they were promoting was expensive even after the discount and anyway the style was not one that would have <ahem> flattered my figure <notmuchpaddingcoughcough>, so it wasn't much of a temptation.

Thanks Alyssa, I completely understand about things that DONT flatter our figures. That's why I get frustrated in stores because they don't yet cater to everybody-only specific segments of society. I'm sure they structure their dressing room use by demand and how many people like us do most of them see every day-very few I would guess. So we are such a small segment of the market that it doesn't yet pay for them to set the space aside for us.

Oh yes, I am thoroughly enjoying my time shopping now that I have gotten past my fear of doing it in male attire.

Randi