I am back home from work, having finished my third day of working full-time. Life is so wonderful. I do not have the words to express it adequately.

I work for a major corporation of 50k employees in their corporate headquarters of 3k people, as a programmer for 9 years. I am a 51 year old MTF on my second try at coming out there after backing away from it two years earlier. Though I pass very well,  I just wasn't ready emotionally before. This time I have been planning my transition with HR over the past 6 weeks. They informed me that I am the only current open transgendered employee in the company, which I found overwhelming for a time thinking about it. There has only been one other who transitioned 8 years ago, but she is working in stealth now.

After receiving support from both HR, legal and the executives, a series of presentations was given last week to various teams I work with while I was away on a short vacation. The Executive VP of IT spoke about company values, informed the teams of the company's support for the transition and set expectations for everyone. Hr itself did a masterful job of presenting the transition, including reading a personal letter from me. I am very happy of the job they did on my behalf.

My first day was Monday.  Walking in for the first time was the most amazing, hyper-sensitive experience I have ever had, and the best personal day of my life.  It was so empowering, exhilarating and freeing.  A truly rare moment in life. I found that I was very present, confident, at peace, sure of myself ...ready for my time to just be. Time itself changed for me this week ...slowed, especially Monday when it absolutely stood still as I walked thru the floor and cubicles to meet my teams and managers. I'm so glad to have had the opportunity in life to experience transition and proud of being transgendered. It has been an incredible, amazing experience so far.

These first days have been surreal. The looks on peoples faces that have worked with me for so many years is priceless. Many are starting to get used to it now and are approaching me more and more each day. I spoke to four women today one-on-one, who have conveyed their support and are happy for me. I had lunch with one of them in the cafeteria, which was great. The men are handling it well also, those sitting and working closest with me are adjusting the quickest. I am stared at constantly by people because of the newness/strangeness of it, I smile back when I see them and try to talk with them if I am close enough. Who knows what is going thru their head. Some stare from across the floor. I get an urge to walk over to them and say hi, but as they are too far, I leave them to stare. Since I do like drama somewhat I am okay with it. I am just being myself.  A few have even stared while walking down the hall together with their heads turned back at me, eyes wide. That was a first, lol. I waved. I am definitely a show here. I try to walk around so they can see me and get used to it. One girl said her husband envied her saying this was better than TV.

I get drivebys at my cubicle constantly and when I look up I see they are checking me out. It is a strange feeling.

A few have stayed away, including some I was friends with before. Hopefully they will adjust to it in time.

Overall the comments from people have been amazing ...in their support, admiration and surprise at my appearance. They had no idea what to expect when they were presented with the news from HR. Here is one really nice comment I received today by email from a co-worker: "Hi Valerie, I'm so happy for you! I didn't tell you when we talked but you look beautiful, distinguish, elegant.. I love it. Welcome to the group!". It was so nice to get that knowing her sincerity.

There is so much more to share, but the essence of it is that transitioning to full-time is the best thing I ever did for myself and I am happy beyond words. I can hardly wait for the next step.

Congratulations, Valerie.  How wonderful!  It sounds like the company is handling it well and you are handling it very well.  Things will settle down. 

I was completely surprised at the support I got when I came out.  It gives me hope for the future of our society.

Keep up the good work!

- Kate

I understand your enthusiasm at the acceptance by your co-workers.  And the support of management.  I remember my first day at work, and the year that followed.  I rapidly became just one of the girls and I still have several friends there.

But a word of caution.  CYA.  Write down everything.  Get promises, corporate support, HR support and anything that is said to you in writing.  If I had done that I would still be working at my old job.



Janet

Nice post Valerie,

I'm glad it has gone so well.

I've no idea about how to do this but if you have a company email, and if so check permission with HR etc,  send out a little thank you note. Even if people are unsure sometimes thanking someone for support through a 'difficult' time can hit a chord with those who cannot relate. EG Guy goes home to wife etc. "Oh I got a thank you from that guy who is coming in as women" (sorry being the idiot here ) Wife says tell me about it. Wife realises husband doesn't know how to deal with situation (as usual males tend to be emotional blockheads). She starts saying Hun, You are talking about a woman who is dealing with a really difficult time, she needs your support. As a man you and your friends should be supporting her as you do the other women etc etc. I'll write her a note etc. Never know


Sorry Valerie drifting into fantasy.

But hope it keeps on going well.

Remember also you are the first 'case' they will be watching. If it's negative to the firm or to profit they will act. If it's positive they will support.                   
Hugs Again
Cindy

Wow.
I'm so looking forward to the day I, too, can go to work without having to put on a boy's disguise...
I'm so happy for you. Take care...

QuoteFor lunch, as a girl, you can no longer sit in your car at your favorite shade spot and read, listen to the radio or just relax for a bit.

Sure you can!  Sandwich in one hand and a book in the other.  Looks like you are at lunch.  Doesn't stop them from trying to get your attention, but you sure don't look like a hooker.  I use to do it all the time. You learn quick to not even look in their direction, even if they are cute. 


Janet

Valerie,

It sounds like real progress, for us and for you, at work at least.  As for parking alone to have lunch and drawing stalkers, which is what they are, I don't care if prostitutes troll for business that way, you have a right to not be harassed like that.  Perhaps the particular location is not the right place for peaceful lunch times alone.  If that's the case, a move is indicated.  If it does happens, as you're leaving, note license tag numbers.  Report the matter to the police with those numbers.  Your status is immaterial, and needn't arise; you're reporting a situation, not making a case.  They can cause increased patrol where it happens, almost guaranteed to move them on. 

I hope it continues in this successful manner.

SusanKG