You're reading a topic on one such subject that uses the three halves concept

Quote from: The None Blonde on November 12, 2009, 08:49:51 PM
You're reading a topic on one such subject that uses the three halves concept

I must appologize for my slowness on this subjuct. Could you clearify on this more so?

Quote from: The None Blonde on November 12, 2009, 07:42:00 PM
One half of the internet: 'THESE ARE THE DEFINTIIONS WE NEED DEFINITIONS!

Another half of the itnernet: ' Definitions are wrong! lets all live our lives and let people belive what the hell they want to belive by calling it something else to make them feel better!'

Another half of the internet (Yes, it's this irational): Badger.



I'm afraid only one of those can win... i'm going for door number 3

Well, I agree with everything up to the last part. Of course they can all be valid. Words have definitions that are somewhat imperfectly matched with meanings. That's true of every word in every dictionary of human language everywhere. Just consider the word "green." And "badger" describes the Internet in its entirety. Either that, or "narwhal bacon."

Somebody said "Kafka". I wonder if there is a "Cockroach roadmap" and how many years of counseling one needs to accept becomming a cockroach?  I think the family took it very well

Funny, I've heard the badger reference before but never really got it until now. It's all about context I guess.

Quote from: xsocialworker on November 13, 2009, 08:16:06 PM
Somebody said "Kafka". I wonder if there is a "Cockroach roadmap" and how many years of counseling one needs to accept becomming a cockroach?  I think the family took it very well

Now there's "Kafka" in addition to the secret stealth, & the three 1/2's? I understand if you're restricted on how much you can say, but I'm very interested in learning more about this "Kafka". 

My reference to badger isnt to the internet meme.... It's another thing that happened at a Sports Club I'm a member of... Dont ask... seriously.

Well, if you're outing yourself on a transgender forum by showing your piccie all over the place where the whole world can see it, guess what, sorry to burst your bubbles but you aren't stealth.  & don't give me "people don't go to transgender sites".  Baloney! the internet is a place where everybody goes to.  Peeps study, work, nose around, do all kinds of things on the internet.  If you don't care, then that's ok, but If you wanna be stealth, the last thing you want is your piccie all over a transgender site.  Pure & simple.

Quote from: Bellaon7 on November 13, 2009, 09:59:03 PM
Now there's "Kafka" in addition to the secret stealth, & the three 1/2's? I understand if you're restricted on how much you can say, but I'm very interested in learning more about this "Kafka".

[pedantry]
Franz Kafka, 1883-1924, a German-speaking Jew who lived in Prague.  He had an odd view of humanity and wrote chilling stories of transformation (Metamorphosis) and blind bureaucratic oppression (The Trial).  His style was such that it is almost impossible to get the complex meanings in a translation, so for full impact it helps to be able to read German (which I can no longer do).
[/pedantry]

- Kate

I don't mean to be rude but stealth has got to do a lot with how people perceive you.  Unfortunately I see a lot of people on TG sites that claim to be stealth but their photos don't show that.  Basically if other people don't perceive you as female, if other people don't see a woman when they see you, if other people can read you or clock you as trans, you can't be stealth no matter how you dress or whether you're post-op or live as a woman.  Stealth has got to do a lot with passing (I know we don't like this word but it's what's used in the community), if you don't pass, you cant be stealth.

Quote from: Valentina on November 14, 2009, 08:18:14 AM
I don't mean to be rude but stealth has got to do a lot with how people perceive you.  Unfortunately I see a lot of people on TG sites that claim to be stealth but their photos don't show that.  Basically if other people don't perceive you as female, if other people don't see a woman when they see you, if other people can read you or clock you as trans, you can't be stealth no matter how you dress or whether you're post-op or live as a woman.  Stealth has got to do a lot with passing (I know we don't like this word but it's what's used in the community), if you don't pass, you cant be stealth.

Unfortunitely that is the bottom line and straight to the point.

Quote from: Valentina on November 14, 2009, 08:18:14 AM
I don't mean to be rude but stealth has got to do a lot with how people perceive you.  Unfortunately I see a lot of people on TG sites that claim to be stealth but their photos don't show that.  Basically if other people don't perceive you as female, if other people don't see a woman when they see you, if other people can read you or clock you as trans, you can't be stealth no matter how you dress or whether you're post-op or live as a woman.  Stealth has got to do a lot with passing (I know we don't like this word but it's what's used in the community), if you don't pass, you cant be stealth.

I always thought this was a given?

Quote from: Pia on November 14, 2009, 07:18:12 AM
Well, if you're outing yourself on a transgender forum by showing your piccie all over the place where the whole world can see it, guess what, sorry to burst your bubbles but you aren't stealth.  & don't give me "people don't go to transgender sites".  Baloney! the internet is a place where everybody goes to.  Peeps study, work, nose around, do all kinds of things on the internet.  If you don't care, then that's ok, but If you wanna be stealth, the last thing you want is your piccie all over a transgender site.  Pure & simple.

Well, that all depends on the crowd you run with.  I've had my pic on at least half a dozen TG forums since 2004 and have been pretty active.  When I came out a year ago the people in "my world" were shocked.  Some told me they went home and downed a bottle of vodka after hearing it. 

But I lived in a world clueless about things TG.  It wasn't even on their radar.  And to stick your head into a TG forum, even if just out of curiosity?  NO WAY!!!  The ten foot pole rule was heavily applied.

"There are eight million stories in the Naked City."

Julie

Quote from: Pia on November 14, 2009, 07:18:12 AM
Well, if you're outing yourself on a transgender forum by showing your piccie all over the place where the whole world can see it, guess what, sorry to burst your bubbles but you aren't stealth.  & don't give me "people don't go to transgender sites".  Baloney! the internet is a place where everybody goes to.  Peeps study, work, nose around, do all kinds of things on the internet.  If you don't care, then that's ok, but If you wanna be stealth, the last thing you want is your piccie all over a transgender site.  Pure & simple.

And this gets back to the definition of stealth.  If stealth means actively hiding your past and your status, then this is true.  If it means not being open, then this is not necessarily true. 

Is stealth like "unique" in that it either is or isn't, or is it like that abomination "kinda unique" in that there is a sliding scale?  Can you be "more or less stealth"?  (I think Bella calls this "Stealthy", a term I would like to see more widely used. )

- Kate

Quote from: Becca on November 13, 2009, 08:25:42 PM
Funny, I've heard the badger reference before but never really got it until now. It's all about context I guess.

I can't get utube. Is this the pyro-pedo-necro-beastaphilia?

It's dancing cartoon badgers with mushrooms and the occasional snake. I thought I had finally figured out what the heck it
means but she said she wasn't referring to this particular analogy so now I'm lost again.

I am curious about the badger in the sports club story though, it's cruel to hint at such a story and not dish!

Quote from: The None Blonde on November 14, 2009, 10:05:58 AM
I always thought this was a given?

I thought so too but I dunno anymore.  I participate in many TG sites, most of them European & some American.  I don't mean to offend anybody but I see a lot of people posting their photos on TG sites whilst claiming to be stealth when in reality they don't look anything close to a woman.  Some even claim to have had facial surgery with prominent FFS surgeons but what I see is a man's face still.  I thought it was me at first, that I was being unfair or maybe too critical, so I asked my mum & friends to look at the photos & they agreed with me.  They all said that those people look trans but not female & if they were walking on the streets, they'd be clocked & read in a millisecond.

Stealth doesn't involve passing only.  It's got to do with being able to be a woman in every situation too.  I know some older women in my support group that pass perfectly because they've had FFS, but they often complain of being outed instantly because they can't establish a conversation with other females.  Too many years of socialization under the wrong gender role is the problem.  They were all married as males, had supermasculine jobs & don't know how to unravel as women.  They don't have a frame of reference as females because unfortunately that's what happens when somebody transitions at an older age.  Not even FFS can undo that.  Don't want to bring the age issue again & I know that some people don't want to hear it but some things need to be said, much more so when stealth is the subject of discussion.

Quote from: Valentina on November 14, 2009, 12:08:16 PMThey don't have a frame of reference as females because unfortunately that's what happens when somebody transitions at an older age.

It isn't about age dear. I requires a willingness, an anxiousness to let go of the old mind-set, to recognize you are "starting over", and to be willing to start from ZERO. The more a person tries to hang on to the less they will "transition".

I agree.  I don't think I look particularly feminine, but I have found that as I relax and un-learn being male and just let the woman I should have been come out that I am accepted more and more as a woman.  It's a process of removing the layers of socialization built up over the years. 

I have the advantage of having never been very good at being a man.  Also to my advantage is that I always liked women and have had many women friends (just friends).  Such relationships were often a bit awkward when I was male-bodied but now are relaxed and easy and wonderful.

(I remember posting some comments about the importance of action, behavior, mannerisms, and attitude and being soundly criticized for my naïveté.)

I have no chance of being stealth, but I am becoming seen by most people - new people and people I've known for years - as a woman.  And at my age that's all I can ask for.

- Kate

Quote from: K8 on November 14, 2009, 08:11:38 AM
[pedantry]
Franz Kafka, 1883-1924, a German-speaking Jew who lived in Prague.  He had an odd view of humanity and wrote chilling stories of transformation (Metamorphosis) and blind bureaucratic oppression (The Trial).  His style was such that it is almost impossible to get the complex meanings in a translation, so for full impact it helps to be able to read German (which I can no longer do).
[/pedantry]

- Kate

Some one here mentioned that their SO was Austrian. Do they speak German? I know they was in cahootz until the Ruskies came in & put the kibosh on em' & threw that wall up. Maybe this Austrian can decipher this ancient Germanian text & shed some light on this "Kafka"?

---

Post Merge: November 14, 2009, 11:54:28 PM

---

Quote from: Pia on November 14, 2009, 07:18:12 AM
Well, if you're outing yourself on a transgender forum by showing your piccie all over the place where the whole world can see it, guess what, sorry to burst your bubbles but you aren't stealth.  & don't give me "people don't go to transgender sites".  Baloney! the internet is a place where everybody goes to.  Peeps study, work, nose around, do all kinds of things on the internet.  If you don't care, then that's ok, but If you wanna be stealth, the last thing you want is your piccie all over a transgender site.  Pure & simple.

Where are these pictures of the secret stealth? Please, I must see these!

---

Post Merge: November 14, 2009, 10:02:36 PM

---

Quote from: Valentina on November 14, 2009, 08:18:14 AM
I don't mean to be rude but stealth has got to do a lot with how people perceive you.  Unfortunately I see a lot of people on TG sites that claim to be stealth but their photos don't show that.  Basically if other people don't perceive you as female, if other people don't see a woman when they see you, if other people can read you or clock you as trans, you can't be stealth no matter how you dress or whether you're post-op or live as a woman.  Stealth has got to do a lot with passing (I know we don't like this word but it's what's used in the community), if you don't pass, you cant be stealth.

You've seen these pictures of the secret stealth as well? Why can I not find these?

---

Post Merge: November 14, 2009, 08:10:09 PM

---

Quote from: Northern Jane on November 14, 2009, 01:28:47 PM
It isn't about age dear. I requires a willingness, an anxiousness to let go of the old mind-set, to recognize you are "starting over", and to be willing to start from ZERO. The more a person tries to hang on to the less they will "transition".

So age does not matter with the sectret stealth. This is very good as I am almost forty!

---

Post Merge: November 14, 2009, 06:18:06 PM

---

Quote from: Laura91 on November 14, 2009, 02:34:34 PM
Exactly!! and even if someone found out about me via a trans forum then...meh...so what?? I am who I am and I'm not ashamed of that at all. Sure, I'm not going to announce that I am trans in a bar full of close minded morons but I'm not going to be ashamed of who I am anymore.

I will go & be not ashamed with you to this bar, even if I am old & do not have the secret stealth!

---

Post Merge: November 14, 2009, 04:32:21 PM

---

Quote from: Becca on November 14, 2009, 11:12:18 AM
It's dancing cartoon badgers with mushrooms and the occasional snake. I thought I had finally figured out what the heck it
means but she said she wasn't referring to this particular analogy so now I'm lost again.

I am curious about the badger in the sports club story though, it's cruel to hint at such a story and not dish!

These old badgers that dance, do they have the secret stealth? Please tell me about these old badgers that dance, I must know!