Quote from: wolfyboi on November 13, 2009, 06:57:52 PMHow did you all who are on T come to such a big decision?

Even though I had already had surgery, I was finding it impossible to get read as "man" without it.  While I wish I'd started maybe five years ago, I'm also glad I didn't just head first into this at eighteen or nineteen -- the changes to the voice are permanent.  I'm a classically trained singer who performs mainly rock and pop music -- I also know what kind of person I was at eighteen and nineteen.  Losing my coloratura range at that age would have been no better than putting a bullet in my brain; while even then, intellectually, I knew of men like Aris Christofellis and Angelo Manzotti --natal men with functional testes who can actually sing soprano, and sing it very well and clearly-- I was just as much "a soprano" as I was "a man".  By twenty-three, I was very much "a singer" as well as "a man", five years ago would have been the ideal time for me to start.

Hell, even now, losing that bit of my range is messing with my head -- it's like cutting off my pinky fingers, for me: I can still sing, very well, but the adjustment is frustrating the hell out of me.  But I'm also a far more stubborn person now than I was ten years ago.  And ten years ago, getting read as "man" was less important than knowing I was one, if it meant I could still be a coloratura; or at least that's how I assessed myself at the time.  Five years ago, it became blindingly apparent that it actually was preferable to me to be read as a "man" in my relationships with others (from sexual one to those with the cashiers at the grocers) that I was willing to limit my range for that sense of gendered dignity.

Moral of this story?  Know who you are and where you want to be.  More potent than any injection.  As I said, starting HRT at eighteen would have ultimately made me a suicide risk, so that knowledge was life-saving at the time.

I do want t. I want to have the oily skin and deep voice I feel like I should have. I feel like I was meant to have t in my blood. Plus estrogen makes me feel like a sissy
I already have high natural t so I have facial hair already. I figure because of this the changes from prescribed t will happen quicker.

Part of it was me knowing that without T I would never pass, and reason for transition for me was just as much linked to how I was perceived by others as much as myself. No matter how masculine I look, if I consistently get "ma'am"ed, I'm going to feel bad. Just how it is.

Another part was, as Miniar said, the "brain running on the right fuel" talk that so many here had mentioned. And I must say, after just a few weeks on T, it rings true for me...I feel less irritable, less mood-swingy, less likely to take things personally and more likely to keep my head when I do get angry (as before it was not just anger hitting me, it was anger/hurt/sadness/etc and was harder for me to sort through everything). I feel more energetic and I swear I don't even notice stuff like light pain or coldness affecting me as much, though that could just be completely unrelated or I'm insane.

It is a big decision, but not one that I made overnight. I had been letting the idea roll around in my head for most of my life. Testosterone = all of the physical traits I always wanted to see in myself. So when I finally came out, it was the next natural step.

Quote from: Kvall on November 14, 2009, 08:01:00 PM
lol... I said a few times already "transition or die" thing is the case for many/most transsexuals, myself included. I'm not losing sight of that at all.

Oh, my apologies. I thought the disagreement was about the transition or die comment.

I had wanted to go on T, and then chose not to go on it, and kept that decision for almost a year.  But also at that time I didn't plan on fully transitioning, I didn't want to blend in and become a 'normal' dude.  Then I realized I'd be way happier if I just went on T so I did.  Everyone's transition is different, there are a lot of guys who decide not to go on hormones.  It's really something you have to think about; don't just go on T because that's what most guys do

You all have been very helpful in my own personal thinking. I feel much more comfortable now about whether or not I should take T. You've all helped me understand that I can wait. Thank you all so very much. 

Why someone wouldn't want to take T is more what I'm wondering.

Quote from: Nero on November 14, 2009, 02:59:40 PMAlso, dysphoria often worsens with time so that how someone may feel about transition at 20 might not be how they feel at 40.

God ain't that the truth. It never goes away or gets better.

Quote from: GnomeKid on November 16, 2009, 01:44:48 PM
Why someone wouldn't want to take T is more what I'm wondering.

Everyone is different. I dont think we have a say in whether someone is a man because they dont want to take t. If a man feels he doesnt need t to be who he is than thats really admirable. I probably will take t but I can totally understand why someone wouldnt want to.

Quote from: Kyle XD on November 16, 2009, 03:17:51 PMEveryone is different. I dont think we have a say in whether someone is a man because they dont want to take t. If a man feels he doesnt need t to be who he is than thats really admirable. I probably will take t but I can totally understand why someone wouldnt want to.

This.  And as I will stress again, the changes made by testosterone, whether going through typical male puberty or through "FTM puberty 2.0" via HRT, are not only permanent bot also life-long, unlike many of the changes made by oestrogen -- which is why MTF women typically take androgen (testosterone) blockers, in addition to oestrogen, so that the on-going effects to testosterone can be neutralised.  This is also why many TS women also seek out Facial Feminisation procedures while TS men typically don't need "facial masculinisation", and why a handful of TS women seek out vocal surgery and TS men don't at all require it, as long as they're on HRT.

Say a TS guy is a singer and being a soprano is honestly more important to him than having a bead or a squared jawline and brow.  He can otherwise get read as male in public through demeanour, being flat-chested, etc..., so I say why question why he wants to skip T -- though a hysto- may help (some women get whiskers after a hysterectomy or menopause).

I'm not a big fan of those who act like self-appointed members of The TS Police.

Quote from: YoungSoulRebel on November 16, 2009, 08:31:56 PM

I'm not a big fan of those who act like self-appointed members of The TS Police.

Me too. I try to be as open minded as I can. There are no rules especially to something as big as this.

Quote from: Kyle XD on November 16, 2009, 08:52:41 PMMe too. I try to be as open minded as I can. There are no rules especially to something as big as this.

Eh...  Open your mind too wide, and a lot of garbage can find its way in.

In this instance, I think that there are distinct differences between, say, "full transsexuals" and "non-op & no-ho TS / transgenderists", but there is a continuum in-between of variations where a lot of others may fall more neatly.  It's not a matter of "there are no rules", but more a matter of "the rules are more flexible than many people may think" -- I mean, you're not going to call Madonna, for example, FTM just because she may decide to call herself such one day whilst actually getting surgical procedures to make herself look like silent film star Clara Bow (who was flat-chested but otherwise very feminine-looking) and continuing to take oestrogen supplements to neutralise the effects of menopause.  On the other hand, if Madonna changed her name to Fred and got various surgical procedures and re-socialised himself as a man but skipped the T for purposes of retaining the voice that helped make him famous, well, you should have no more problem accepting the former-Madonna as a TS man than you'd have accepting (natal, betesticled) male soprano Angelo Manzotti as a cisgender man who simply sings soprano.

There are, in fact, rules, but the rules can be adjusted to suit the needs, preferences, and abilities of the players.  It's like playing D&D -- some people are going to want a game with a better story, while others are going to just want a hack-and-slash game; some people find Fourth Edition rules problematic in some areas, so they incorporate some of the Third Edition elements that they liked better.  But even if you're going to play the game as-is, right out of the 4thEd books, nobody likes rules lawyering, but that doesn't make the rules magically disappear: you don't get to roll eight 10-sided dice while everybody else has four 20-sided ones cos you think "it looks better", and you can't just decide that you're bringing in that old 20th-level 1stEd Half-Orc Mage you played in college without informing the GM and without making 4thEd adjustments.  Just cos the rules are more flexible than some people think, there are still rules. 

(And here is where I realise that hanging out with gamers can actually prove useful at times.)

Rebel, your D&D reference just put a big silly grin on my face.

Quote from: Chris the Wookie Slayer on November 17, 2009, 10:54:29 PM
Rebel, your D&D reference just put a big silly grin on my face.

Well, with a name like "Chris the Wookie Slayer", I can't say I'm surprised.   

[insert obscure reference to Grandpa Itchy]

Woot for D&D and it's continued usefulness in completely non D&D conversations!
(it's been established for as long as me and my partner have been together... that I'm a bard who spends all his skillpoints on bardic knowledge, taking serious character flaws and physical drawbacks to get more points in there,.. while partner's a "fighter" that ended up multiclassing himself to hell and back.)

T isn't necessary for everyone, but it is for me.

Quote from: YoungSoulRebel on November 16, 2009, 08:31:56 PMthough a hysto- may help (some women get whiskers after a hysterectomy or menopause).

I agree except for this. If you mean the oophorectomy then that's not a good idea. You need some sort of sex hormone to maintain bone density. (And sex drive, although you may not care.)

Just a hysto wouldn't change hormone levels as far as I know but you would stop the monthly death.