Edit my last post. It wasn't
Zyprexa it was
Paxil. Zyprexa is horse tranquilizer. Paxil is an antidepressant.
Last night I had a dream I was on a bicycle trip with children and I was helping them out. They really liked me.
QuoteMay I please ask what happened to you that triggered PTSD and nightmares/night terrors?
I was traveling in Europe. My goals, my itinerary, went from wanting to do X to being
"on a mission". A mission that was very emotional and became very important to me. I was willing to do anything to succeed. When I returned, I felt the mission was failed.
Only failure did not register with some part of my brain. I
couldn't "take a break", like at the end of a hard day or walking away from a bad experience.
It's like having a window open all day. At the end of the day you know it is going to be cold, you know you need to close it . . . but you can't.
The brain is stuck. It seems like you should be able to close it. All is sane and rational inside the house. Now it feel like sleeping outside in the cold.
The solution is not simple. I say, "I want to go back to _______ lifestyle, when I did ______ and ________ and _________."
For me this was "not smoking", bicycling, sowing clothes. This was the logical step. These were things that made me happy. These were things that I benefited from. These were things I felt comfortable with.
The blame game was not helpful at all. Blame is, afterall, leads one back to the problem.
Sedation is not a solution. Sedation is actually something to fight. It doesn't close the gaping logical window. It only prevents the cold from being felt.
Opening another window, it may
seem a bit warmer but this is an illusion (and maybe one just likes opening windows).
The solution is to pick-up your *things*, go to another room and close the door. Air will leak through the crack under the door but at least it doesn't feel like your squatting in the woods naked. You can open the door and look in. Go ahead, try the window.
It takes time. As for the nightmares, unfortunately they are real (or at least they are a result of a real conflict). Actually they are an escape from reality (albeit, half way out the window).
"night terror"?
Waking up in hell. The brain is not only stuck but because you have decided to abandon the mission,
you've given up your mental restraint and no longer in command -- expecting the mission to abandoned, the ~mission~ goes out of control -- something you just
never expected to happen.
The trauma?
Well you had a helmet on. All sane and logical.
----
The PTSD diagnosis is often times missused IMO. (my account maybe concerned "PTSD 3rd degree" but this is the mechanism)
I've been abused. I've been through trauma and I have been traumatized.
The result of trauma and abuse is:
mistrust, dysphoria, depression, low self-esteem, hostility, cynicism. And this can extend further.
In addition there is the reality of abuse or trauma. We humans, as animals, learn. We learn to avoid, or deal with these situations. As people these experiences become part of ourselves -- our identity.
The estrogen/female approach to bad situations seems not to drag-ones-guts-on-the-ground as the male approach does. She is a fanatical parade. He is swinging at a pinata.
Tirades IMO would not, or could not cause PTSD. Abuse may result in tirades, however. (not exactly helpful but it is a "healthy" reaction). It's an energy I have yet to fully harrness.
