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My first public admition

Started by Alicia91, November 23, 2009, 07:27:09 PM

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Alicia91

Hi. I'm beginning my transitional phase to be a MtF. I'd have to say I realized I wasn't physically who I should be when I was about ten. All my friends were into macho action stuff, but I was more of a drama lover. They'd see movies for the explosions, I'd see movies for the story.

Soon, I started noticing that I liked how the girls were dressing in school more that how we were dressing. I started shopping around for some more feminine clothes in my early teens and that's when I found out about transsexualism.

I started researching it and found stories of fully transformed individuals and before long, I had made up my mind. I'm currently in therapy and am getting ready to see a specialist. The biggest problem that I have with this is that I live in a South Dakota. It's very conservative here. So much, that there isn't really a TRUE specialist that I can see, but rather, someone who is aware of what needs to be done.

I've been researching this stuff for about four years now, and I've committed myself to see it through to the end. I've even picked out a new name for myself. I've joined this forum in hopes of support from others like me, and maybe to finally build up the courage to tell my parents.
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Janet_Girl

Hi Alicia, :icon_wave:

Welcome to our little family. Over 3600 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. :icon_hug:

And be sure to check out

Blessed Be.
Janet
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tekla

FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Alexmakenoise

I agree - if you can get out of the area where you live and go somewhere where you'll meet other people who don't conform to traditional genders roles or expect others to, do it.  Even if it's only for a visit.

I don't know what's within your means, so I'll point out that there are a surprising amount of small towns out there that are just as accepting as big cities known for being lgbt-friendly (I say this having lived in both).  It seems that, in rural areas, people who don't fit in tend to congregate in the most liberal small town that they can afford to move to.  Usually, it's a popular tourist destination with a transient seasonal population - so you go there to work for the tourist season and meet all kinds of people from all over who are there for similar reasons.

I guess I'm just speaking from my own experience of living in a tiny tourist town in an isolated rural area (where there was a year-round weekly drag night that was very well-attended).  But I've heard that a lot of tourist towns are the same - if you live there, even for a summer, you'll meet all kinds of people who didn't fit in somewhere else.  You might not meet another trans person in a liberal small town, but you'll probably be exposed to a lot of different ways of thinking, have access to a better therapist, etc.

Liberal cities are great for seeing the sheer variety out there, but liberal small towns are nice because everyone interacts together instead of splintering off into little groups.

If you can't move or spend some time elsewhere sometime soon, at least you have the Internet!   :)   And it's never too early to start exploring your options, planning, preparing - as you are now.

So welcome!
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Alicia91

Thanks, I'll look into finding some nearby towns like that. And thanks for such a warm post.
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Cindy

Hi Alicia

Don't get put off. Tekla tends to call a manual earth operating machine a shovel one a good day.

First of all I'm not in the USA. You are sounding nice and confident (even though you may be terrified inside). Try and plan what you want to do. If you need a therapist (you do) seek one out. I have no idea where Dakota is but you have internet: seek.

Have an in house brain therapy session. Sober, no drugs. piece of paper. Write down where you want to be in ..6 months, 2 years, ten years? Write the pros and cons. How will you achieve the outcome you want? Any: both gender and work wise. What happens if you fail? What is plan H? BTW plan B doesn't work :laugh: :laugh:

Hugs Honey


Cindy; the South Australian Dream Boat 2009:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Finally Honey
Do it
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jesse

like a knife that cuts you the wound heals but them scars those scars remain
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Randi

Hello and welcome to the forum! You are not alone in your distress-we have all been there as well. You will find some people to be more polite than others but it's that way in general isn't it. If you can't get out of the town you are in just develop a plan that is rational and stick to it. If you can't find a gender therapist, then get one who will learn about your situation and work with you. Any therapy is better than none at all!

Have a great Thanksgiving!
Randi :)
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sarahF

Hi Alicia,
This is a good start. Weclome!
Sarah
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shanetastic

I love how direct you are tekla lol.

By the way welcome :]
trying to live life one day at a time
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