I had emailed one of my friends asking her what would be something that "would actually supprise you(her)"

she responds "If you told me that you somehow managed to get a sex change at your age, I'd be surprised "

No weird questions, no "why do you want to throw away your body?".. she just asked what i wanted to change my name, so she could stop calling me by my given (female) name.


Has anyone else brought this subject up and had the person you were talking to be so unphased by the concept?

Yep, was in High School during lunch. Both friends were absolutely cool with it.

Everyone I have come out too has been unfazed.
Even I guy I worked with for >20 years until he left the city. On his return I told him about me. He is very macho, married and two adult daughters. His first reply was along the lines of how difficult it must have been for me to be working with guys and not being able to join in girl talk etc.

Cindy

yah the only person that ever responded unsurprised was a girl at work. She had noticed my nails, flipflops, and some other tell-tale signs I guess. She's really cool about it too

It sorts burst my bubble, I was all physced out read for all the what if's and so asked him or told him, I have something important to tell you and I'll give you three guess, well guess number one was, " your becoming a woman " I just stood there with jaw on the floor, how did you?? He just smiled and winked....

When I was in the process of telling my friends one at a time, I told one of them: "I'm transgendered."  She immediately shot back: "I know it."  It confused me and threw me off my rhythm in my coming-out talk.  But she's been a big supporter.  I never did ask her how she knew.

Some others were surprised but were like: "That's nice.  Where are you going on vacation this year?"  It was almost a disappointment.

- Kate

surprisingly that's been the reaction of most of my family.. it helps that my Dad is a gossip and told everyone on his side before I went up there last time, but even my seemingly Baptist Republican backwoods South Carolina relatives reactions were "so what are you planning to name yourself?".. Its anti-climatic but wonderful to find out it's a bigger deal to you than to them.

a couple of long term friends as well as my oldest sister all said it's about time.  Another friend said that now she understands why she always thought of me as one of the girls.  It throws you for a loop when a friend does that as you're trying to tell them.

The last time I got my hair cut, I told my hairdresser.

She'd spent the previous couple of minutes berating me for wanting to grow my hair out farther (it was nearly shoulder length). After I told her? Complete turnaround. She wanted to grow my hair way longer than it was (to which I bugged her about what she had said not five minutes earlier! ); she gave me highlights, makeup tips, the whole deal.

From critical to raving fan in one minute. Fastest turnaround ever...

When I was visiting my old high school last year I went to see my old art teacher and she asked me if my gf (who she also taught) and I were dating, because there were rumors among the faculty. (I swear, they're worse than the students at that school)

I said yes, and we talked about how she was doing for a couple minutes, during which time she let a female pronoun slip. No one but a few of Wren's very close friends knew at this point, so I did a bit of a double-take. Turns out she figured it out on her own a long time ago, and was just waiting for her to come out!

One friend I wasn't really planning on coming out to kept asking why I seemed so troubled. This was during my freaking-out-trying-to-screw-up-the-courage-to-transition phase. I told him I was unhappy about some things in my life, and he kept asking, and I said, "my gender."

He said, "Oh. Well, you know you can change that?"

I had told my best friend, who had intimatly discussed with me his not so friendly opinions about a youth BF turning gay overnight, just look at me and say "ok". I am sure with most of us going through this, those that know a great deal about us either already suspect something or can accept it out right. But you know every situation is unique.

I still know four people who knew me as a kid - two women friends, my sister and my brother.  They've all accepted me as Kate, but I was a bit surprised that not one of them said something like: "We always knew you were strange."  But they were kids when I was kid. 

I think my mother would have totally understood, but she's been gone many years now.

- Kate

I have had acceptance almost all across the board...but my brothers and sister still call me by my born name. The have my back with all of this but I think that since I decided to moved out of state to do my transistion they are just not around to get used to the idea that this is a real permanate thing...

I know what you mean, Janessa.  At first my sister assumed this was just another crazy scheme I'd come up with.  She has been very good at trying to call me Kate and "she" since she realized how vital this is to me, but it took a few visits for her to come to that realization.

Next month I'm going to see my brother for the first time since becoming Kate.  He has been intellectually accepting but still thinks of me as his little brother.  I'm hoping that seeing me now and a long heart-to-heart talk will bring him on board at a deeper level.

BTW Janessa, I started hormones and full-tiime last April, so I'm not that far ahead of you.

- Kate

wow, it is kinda nice to hear that there are few others who are on about the same timeline as me. 

This is one of the things I dislike about my transistion, I don't like the fact that the ones who are so close to me (my family) are so far away while I am transistioning. My sister came out to visit me and we ended up at an alcohol establishment where we ended up socializing with a few other females. Well one of the girls had asked how we knew each other and my sister gleefully responded "ohh HE is my sister".

We later laughed about it but she came to the realization that this is real and something she is going to have to get used to.

When I came out at work to my then colleagues one of the girls in the office was so unphased about the whole thing, I was completely blown away. I was soon invited to all the ladies evenings and make-up parties etc. It was a revelation and totally unexpected. We are still friends now and the amazing thing was that she never made a mistake with pronouns at work or out socialising. Amazing girl she is.

Sometimes the things that we are trying so hard to hide from everyone else are all too obvious to everyone but us.

I grew up in a small town in  the 1950's so there wasn't any secret that I was "different". I never really passed for a boy, not even in childhood, so when I left town for SRS in 1974 and the scuttlebutt went around, the most common response was "Well that makes sense."