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Working is getting me down latly =(

Started by justme19, December 07, 2009, 01:51:53 AM

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justme19

So it;s about that age were you go out and start to work and earn yourself some money.

So my dad is letting me work with him and hes a tradsman. OMG I hate working with him, it gets me really sad latly. It's like the last thing i want to be doing, since i have to get my hands dirty. (I know it's pritty pertecic.)

But yea, it's just forcing me into a roll i really don't want to be in =(   

I guess i can go get a job else were, but i really don't want to dissapoint him =(

Any advice  ???  :-\
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aubrey

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justme19

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heatherrose

#3


It is a pretty shocking turn of events when we first realized that there is no
Santa Claus, when we realized there was no magic involved in stocking the
base of the Christmas tree with our youthful hearts desire. Growing up, sure,
we watched Daddy and/or Mama go out the door every morning and return
later in the evening but we never made the connection. We never truly
understood that the warm air flowing from the heating duct, the measliest
Mac' and cheese or shiny toy, was the direct result of Daddy's dirty, sweat
stained t-shirt or Mama's sore feet and back, until with our own eyes, hands
and backs, we experienced the work a day world. A world based on trade,
trade of time, energy, intellect, experience and reputation for bits of gold,
which we trade for food, clothing, shelter, transportation, entertainment and
education. The more varied and valuable the assets we have to offer in trade,
the better the lifestyle we are able to live. My advice? Seeing that we exist in
a world based on trade, take an honest assessment of what you have to
barter with? Which assets do you have the most of, which would be of value
to someone who holds the gold? At this time in your life do you have more
reputation, experience, intellect, energy or time than the next person. It is
most likely that you possess more time and energy than you do reputation or
experience. Time and energy being something that we all possess, is of very
little value. Toss intellect onto the barter table and your time and energy
becomes more valuable. While education enhances your ability to use your
intellect, education without experience and/or reputation is worth only little
more than time, energy and intellect, alone. We all do what we must do, to
survive. I would suggest that you work on gaining a grasp of the basic use of
your most plentiful barterable assets, time and energy and intellect..........


Learn to work your ass off, take direction, find something that you enjoy
doing that somebody would be willing to pay you to do, give an honest days
work for every dollar earned, learn to set up a budget, save every penny you
can, spend your own money on educating yourself, if something/anything is
worth having it is appreciated more if you worked for it, owe no one anything,
understand that everything comes at a price, the borrower becomes slave to
the lender, you are the only one you can and should ever depend upon.   



"I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you,
I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.

So let's make the most of this beautiful day,
Since we're together, we might as well say,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?" - Fred Rogers
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Renate

Quote from: justme19 on December 07, 2009, 01:51:53 AM
I really don't want to disappoint him.

Consider how you'd be disappointing yourself if you followed the wrong path.
Is there any work that you do want to do (that you are qualified for) or want to learn?
Can you at least come out to your father about your feelings about work?
Completely coming out might have benefits too.
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Pippa

This is my biggest fear and something I really want to address with my therapist.   My whole life has seemed to be about not disappointing my parents rather than leading the life I want.

Finally, after many years of turmoil, I have decided to live my life for me.  I know that sounds selfish but by continually basing my life on the expectations of others I have experienced nothing but pain and depression.

Guilt is part of the turmoil we all experience.   Imagine how much worse it could be with partners and dependants.   

Speak to a good therapist
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heatherrose



Quote from: justme19It's like the last thing i want to be doing...

What are you asking advice about? How to come out to you Dad or how
to go about getting what you need to be able to attain your goals.


"I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you,
I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.

So let's make the most of this beautiful day,
Since we're together, we might as well say,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?" - Fred Rogers
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NDelible Gurl

Well the main thing for now I think would be making money. As long as you're doing legit work it's fine. As far as getting your hands dirty honey I've done labor work, went to Iron Working training, know how to change tires, and chop wood. There's nothing wrong with learning a new trade. These things round out a person. Being a transwoman doesn't mean you have to be girly 100% of the time. You can still do things and are the same girl inside that you are now.

Make a little money now and make the next decision after is what I'd do. Best of wishes girl!
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tekla

Do you - or are you - objecting to the work/the trade because you associate it with a different gender?  If so you might want to look closer as many of the trades are becoming more and more open.  Being or doing X no longer makes one a 'man' or a 'woman' (by the way, it never did) - it just makes them a check.

FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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sarahF

Very well put Heatherose
Some people out there just don't get it
Sarah
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heatherrose



Yah, everybody should listen to me. I wish somebody had said the
same thing to me when I was young, dumb and fumbling around.....

Maybe, if I hadn't had my senses glazed over by youthful idiocy,
I would have seen and heard everyone that HAD. My neck is sore
from shaking my head at the folly of youth, that of the current generation
and that of myself. I wish had gotten "it" before now. What is "it"? "It" is
the whole package, I got the "Learn to work your ass off, take direction,
find something that you enjoy doing that somebody would be willing to pay
you to do, give an honest days work for every dollar earned" part, but the rest
of it never sunk in until now. At least I still draw breath and when standing
on rock bottom there is no better foundation to start rebuilding upon.




"I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you,
I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.

So let's make the most of this beautiful day,
Since we're together, we might as well say,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?" - Fred Rogers
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LordKAT

Quote from: heatherrose on December 08, 2009, 11:30:12 PM

At least I still draw breath and when standing
on rock bottom there is no better foundation to start rebuilding upon.
Yup, there are advantages to ending up on the bottom sometimes.
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tgirljuliewilson

When most people are old and ready to die, it is the things they did NOT do, rather than the things they did do, that they regret (not) doing.

Be yourself.

DO.
O I wish I wish I wish I wish
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sarahF

Well Tgril I may be old but I not ready to die. At least not in the present form
Sarah
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jesse

like a knife that cuts you the wound heals but them scars those scars remain
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