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Are you an Alpha?

Started by rejennyrated, December 08, 2009, 12:02:27 PM

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rejennyrated

Ok folks a semi-serious bit of psychological research here.

Are you an Alpha male or female and how has your transition and/or SRS affected this.

I absolutely never was before I transitioned, during transition I didn't really notice any change, but postop, and to my immense surprise and astonishment, I eventually became an Alpha Female both at work and socially, (which greatly amuses my partner).

In social gatherings or workgroups I am often (but not always) the one around whom a female group seems to congregate. I suspect this has to do with the self belief, positive thinking, and perhaps body language that I project, but I don't know for sure.

So I'm really intrigued to hear your experiences.
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Janet_Girl

I am not an Alpha.  I am not even a Beta.  I am very submissive, so I seem to get walk all over, but I am learning to be more aggressive to protect me.



Hugs and Love
Janet
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K8

I'm not really an alpha, although I can take that role if no one else will.  I've always been the adjunct somehow.  It's not something I've tried to do, it just happens.  The organization chart looks like this:

                           Alpha
                              |
                              +-----> me
                              |
                    Everybody else

I don't know how that has worked, but it generally ends up this way for some reason.

- Kate
Life is a pilgrimage.
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Kurzar

Well I'm VERY Alpha unless you talk about in the bedroom. Sexually I become very submissive which is most likely due to my abuse as a toddler and being raped by my Ex BF.  Problem with that is my 2 guys are both submissive >.<
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Megan

I'm a beta

I think. I want to be important, number 1. But I don't want to lead.
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FairyGirl

I guess those terms don't really apply to me. I am a sharer, I believe in and practice equality in most of my relationships, but I do tend to be on the passive/submissive side, exclusively so if you're talking sexually. At work I'm self employed and work closely with two other female partners. It's give and take. Like Kate said I can assume that role if no one else will and if it is required, but generally I don't subscribe to that whole concept of hierarchical situations to begin with.
Girls rule, boys drool.
If I keep a green bough in my heart, then the singing bird will come.
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rejennyrated

Quote from: FairyGirl on December 08, 2009, 02:38:14 PM
generally I don't subscribe to that whole concept of hierarchical situations to begin with.
Good answer...

In fact all good answers. Thank you all.

What I'm really interested in is how transition affects people's perceptions and social interaction with others. Would be great to hear from a few more boys too.
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Lachlann

The beta always has more control.
Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own
Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know, all the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar
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Kurzar

Quote from: Kurzar on December 08, 2009, 01:56:01 PM
Well I'm VERY Alpha unless you talk about in the bedroom. Sexually I become very submissive which is most likely due to my abuse as a toddler and being raped by my Ex BF.  Problem with that is my 2 guys are both submissive >.<
\

I'm a guy and did reply =P
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rejennyrated

Quote from: Kurzar on December 08, 2009, 03:08:30 PM
\
I'm a guy and did reply =P

yes indeed hence the phrase "Would be great to hear from a few more boys too. " rather than simply just "a few boys too." ;)
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HollyHC

I'm not an Alpha, but I;ve always fancied myself as the one who tells the Alpha what to do.
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Kurzar

Quote from: rejennyrated on December 08, 2009, 03:28:21 PM
yes indeed hence the phrase "Would be great to hear from a few more boys too. " rather than simply just "a few boys too." ;)

Sorry that was my bad, I missed the 'more' part.
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K8

Well, I missed the transition part. 

*** Kurzar and Kate go sit in the corner to do penance until they join forces and become disruptive >:-) ***

Before transition I would take charge in relationships because that was expected of me.  Now that it is no longer expected of me I am comfortable being the power behind the throne – my natural stance. 

I am also now strong enough in my own sense of self that I am willing to be taken because I know I am strong enough not to lose who I am in the process.

- Kate
Life is a pilgrimage.
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Hannah

Quote from: Lachlann on December 08, 2009, 02:54:14 PM
The beta always has more control.

Excellent point. As long as the submissive can always choose to no longer sumbit, they truly are in charge. I used to always let my boyfriend feel like he was the boss, because he had that sort of personality. After a few years something shifted, and he started bordering on being abusively dominant...and I felt my control of my own life slipping away as I realized that I really had no choice between being submissive to his wishes or losing him.

I'm sorry, I know that's not exactly what you were after but I really liked Lachlann's observation and wanted to comment. I just got done spending a term heavily focused on social inclusion/exclusion and addictive behaviors and so on, so my brain is still geared that way. I swear to god this psychology degree is really sapping my faith in humanity.
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Kurzar

Quote from: Lachlann on December 08, 2009, 02:54:14 PM
The beta always has more control.

Actually that is an extremely valid point. I could go into it more but that would be better suited to the sexuality forum  >:-)
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Teknoir

Before transition, I was never part of a social group in the first place.

Now,  I actually have been part of a social group. I wasn't the ringleader, but my technical skillset seemed to be the most respected. I prefer to occupy that position than group "leader". It's less work - I get the respect without having to lead  :laugh:

I just don't care enough about what's going on to lead a group of people. If I care about something, then I'm usually doing my own thing about it. People can follow me, or not - I don't mind either way.

I suppose that makes me a "loose cannon" of sorts.
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Tammy Hope

Alpha?


HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECK no!

At least, not as a male. Hopefully I won't be as a female.
Disclaimer: due to serious injury, most of my posts are made via Dragon Dictation which sometimes butchers grammar and mis-hears my words. I'm also too lazy to closely proof-read which means some of my comments will seem strange.


http://eachvoicepub.com/PaintedPonies.php
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Lachlann

Quote from: Kurzar on December 08, 2009, 07:19:53 PM
Actually that is an extremely valid point. I could go into it more but that would be better suited to the sexuality forum  >:-)

Well, you could always look at the social structure of wolves without delving into something sexual.
Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own
Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know, all the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar
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Northern Jane

Before transition, certainly NOT - way too shy and timid. After transition, it depends on the circumstances.

For a woman in business, particularly engineering and construction, you HAVE to learn to be an Alpha (and sometimes REALLY convince others) or you get run over. My behind-my-back nickname 'The Dragon Lady' is not by accident  ::)

Socially, I can be a bit forward if I am after someone's attention but usually I am more coy and retiring.
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LordKAT

This seems to be more of a dominance question. rule of thumb, out of ANY group, 10% are dominant. There are degrees of dominance hence the beta thing. If you take 100 people and remove the 10% that are dominant, you have 90 people of which 10% are dominant. Repeat the last action and the rule will still hold.

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