Im feel as if everything in life would have been better if I were born a boy. The real feelings began when I was 4 years old after realizing my best friend (who is actually a boy) and I were different. From there I wanted to be just like him. I would even convince my mum that all the boys clothes were more colourful and looked better so she would buy them for me.

All through lower primary school I would hang with the boys. I would ride motorbikes with my friend, play football, soccer, go Bmx riding....I was never into dolls and certainly didnt like dresses! When playing video games I always chose the male character rather than the female and used to get rather upset when I had to be the pink power ranger (who is a girl) while play fighting!

Nowadays I feel I get jealous of boys. I will often go down to the shop and just want to buy some of the boys clothes! I just want to so badly be able to fill a pair of boxers! Without being judged. Over the next 6 weeks I plan on buying this awesome Bmx bike which I want to do some flatland riding on. No one in my family knows I feel this way. They thought I grew out of wanting boys stuff ages ago. Im really confused because I honestly dont know if I ever would have a sex change.....Is this what you would call transgendered? And How can I best handle it? All I want for Christmas is to be a man!

Quote from: EmJay on December 02, 2009, 03:14:24 PM
Im feel as if everything in life would have been better if I were born a boy. The real feelings began when I was 4 years old after realizing my best friend (who is actually a boy) and I were different. From there I wanted to be just like him. I would even convince my mum that all the boys clothes were more colourful and looked better so she would buy them for me.

All through lower primary school I would hang with the boys. I would ride motorbikes with my friend, play football, soccer, go Bmx riding....I was never into dolls and certainly didnt like dresses! When playing video games I always chose the male character rather than the female and used to get rather upset when I had to be the pink power ranger (who is a girl) while play fighting!

Nowadays I feel I get jealous of boys. I will often go down to the shop and just want to buy some of the boys clothes! I just want to so badly be able to fill a pair of boxers! Without being judged. Over the next 6 weeks I plan on buying this awesome Bmx bike which I want to do some flatland riding on. No one in my family knows I feel this way. They thought I grew out of wanting boys stuff ages ago. Im really confused because I honestly dont know if I ever would have a sex change.....Is this what you would call transgendered? And How can I best handle it? All I want for Christmas is to be a man!

i have a very similar story, except it's the male to female version. i think you are transgender, but ultimately, the only person who can answer that is you. to start off, everyone always says to get a therapist, preferably one who specializes in gender, and no, you aren't too young to know any better. your gender is a big part of your identity that is crystalized very early in life.

It took me till I was 32 to finally come to realize why I felt like I had all my life.  I knew deep down who I was, but I fought to conform and be 'female' untill I just couldn't take it any longer.  I envy those that get to come out at a much younger age. I feel like I was robbed of most my life.

Welcome to Susan's, EmJay.

Your story is much like mine, except in the opposite gender (like NicoleFoxFan).  When I was 3 or 4 I knew I was a boy - I could see that - but knew I should be a girl, that I would be happier as a girl, and would fit into the world better as a girl.  Now that I can finally be a girl these many years later, I find I was right when I was little.

If you can get some counseling - especially from a gender therapist - it might help you sort things out and also convince your family that these feelings are real.

Look around the forum, EmJay.  This experience is not a one-size-fits-all thing.  Good luck.

- Kate

Hi EmJay,

Welcome to our little family. Over 3700 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another brother.

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Blessed Be.
Janet

I don't know, you sound like a transman to me.

Best thing to do: find a therapist, talk it over, figure out the best course of action.

Welcome to Susan's.

Quote from: EmJay on December 02, 2009, 03:14:24 PM
Im feel as if everything in life would have been better if I were born a boy. The real feelings began when I was 4 years old after realizing my best friend (who is actually a boy) and I were different. From there I wanted to be just like him. I would even convince my mum that all the boys clothes were more colourful and looked better so she would buy them for me.

All through lower primary school I would hang with the boys. I would ride motorbikes with my friend, play football, soccer, go Bmx riding....I was never into dolls and certainly didnt like dresses! When playing video games I always chose the male character rather than the female and used to get rather upset when I had to be the pink power ranger (who is a girl) while play fighting!

Nowadays I feel I get jealous of boys. I will often go down to the shop and just want to buy some of the boys clothes! I just want to so badly be able to fill a pair of boxers! Without being judged. Over the next 6 weeks I plan on buying this awesome Bmx bike which I want to do some flatland riding on. No one in my family knows I feel this way. They thought I grew out of wanting boys stuff ages ago. Im really confused because I honestly dont know if I ever would have a sex change.....Is this what you would call transgendered? And How can I best handle it? All I want for Christmas is to be a man!

Yeah, you sound transgender to me too. But its sadly harder for a Female to Male right now.    But even if you to descide to completely transition that doesn't mean you can't get to the point where you could pass as a man. And trust me, passing for what you really are is much better then faking something you arn't.

Quote from: NicoleFoxFan on December 02, 2009, 03:36:56 PM
i have a very similar story, except it's the male to female version. i think you are transgender, but ultimately, the only person who can answer that is you. to start off, everyone always says to get a therapist, preferably one who specializes in gender, and no, you aren't too young to know any better. your gender is a big part of your identity that is crystalized very early in life.

Same here. I always wanted to be dressed as a girl and wear girl clothes but I could of never been slick enough to trick my mom into buying me a dress. I always had a lot of guy friends but never trusted them like I did my girlfriends. I always pick the girl on the vidoegames because they intrested me more. My sisters barbies would fit me well over my dads action figures he would buy me.  The signs were there that I wanted to be a girl when I was in highschool and I was asked out by a boy and I didn't feel comfortable because of the way I looked and was persived.

 ...Okay... i love that you chose to write this.. because before i was in that stage of trying to find who i was, i believed in the same thing you did!

I was born a male, but inside always,  ALWAYS.. felt female... The recent year, yea..transgendered crossed my mind, but i did not really look into it... i did not REALLY know what being transgenders was, and of course i did not understand why most "gay guys" likes other guys and likes there body... but i didn't i wanted a female body... i wanted to give birth, feel that protection from my husband, NOT give protection! yuck! im scared!  ...

You are in the stage where you have to accept, and your learning to accept.. that you are transgendered... yes it's common... and yes you will probably  transition in life... soon you will probably come out to your family...

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Post Merge: December 08, 2009, 09:51:58 PM

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Quote from: Shazny2010 on December 08, 2009, 10:45:13 PM
would buy me.  The signs were there that I wanted to be a girl when I was in highschool and I was asked out by a boy and I didn't feel comfortable because of the way I looked and was persived.

same here!!!

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Post Merge: December 08, 2009, 10:52:46 PM

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Quote from: Robin. on December 03, 2009, 06:40:49 PM
And trust me, passing for what you really are is much better then faking something you arn't.

SO agree!!!

Quote from: Shazny2010 on December 08, 2009, 10:45:13 PM
Same here. I always wanted to be dressed as a girl and wear girl clothes but I could of never been slick enough to trick my mom into buying me a dress. I always had a lot of guy friends but never trusted them like I did my girlfriends. I always pick the girl on the vidoegames because they intrested me more. My sisters barbies would fit me well over my dads action figures he would buy me.  The signs were there that I wanted to be a girl when I was in highschool and I was asked out by a boy and I didn't feel comfortable because of the way I looked and was persived.

yeah, i had no interest in boys toys. i always wanted to play with dolls. i even dressed as the pink power ranger one year for halloween, but around first grade, i stopped being so expressive, because i learned that people don't accept it, and there was just 8 years of confusion after that, until i had a therapist tell me who i was. i'm finally starting to rebuild my backbone.

Quote from: NicoleFoxFan on December 09, 2009, 12:08:06 AM
yeah, i had no interest in boys toys. i always wanted to play with dolls. i even dressed as the pink power ranger one year for halloween, but around first grade, i stopped being so expressive, because i learned that people don't accept it, and there was just 8 years of confusion after that, until i had a therapist tell me who i was. i'm finally starting to rebuild my backbone.

I was a witch for halloween, green face, large nose, the hat, the dress.

The whole thing around age 6'ish, and I didn't know much better than... played with Barbie dolls. And then stop playing them around 8'ish.

I remember playing with three specific dolls, like one that was German and then I threw her up the roof. Another one the 2000 one, and one with short hair.

Obsessed with Sailor Moon too, pretended I was Sailor Mars a lot.

I remember one year I got my folks to buy me a doll.  Ok it was the large version of GI Joe but it was still a doll, kind of like Ken.

Speaking of 'Ken', I wonder is he is available?   



Hugs and Love
Janet

Quote from: Janet Lynn on December 09, 2009, 12:22:14 AM
I remember one year I got my folks to buy me a doll.  Ok it was the large version of GI Joe but it was still a doll, kind of like Ken.

Speaking of 'Ken', I wonder is he is available?   



Hugs and Love
Janet

I don't know how I manage getting a few barbie dolls expensive ones too... and some girl clock.. makes me wonder why they didn't say a thing. And a Britney Spears album. Plus I tried to shape my eyebrows, and remove my arm hair around 8 (i actually started bleeding on my arm so I remember that). And they thought it was nothing basically.... so I can't come out to them, not even gay.

And when I receive toy cars, I just didn't want them.

But I just stop it all when I was getting too old for it like 10.

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I work with a Ken, and he's cute. I made a thread about him a while ago.

Quote from: Kurzar on December 02, 2009, 04:09:22 PM
It took me till I was 32 to finally come to realize why I felt like I had all my life.  I knew deep down who I was, but I fought to conform and be 'female' untill I just couldn't take it any longer.  I envy those that get to come out at a much younger age. I feel like I was robbed of most my life.

Don't be too hard on yourself, Kurzar. The past can't be changed. Look ahead to the future with the thought that you will be the person you really are. Be encouraged.

Gennee