I've noticed with a lot of people on this forum that they talk funny, depending on thier gender idenity.

The females on this site seem to act like a stereotypical woman, with all the "Hun"s and all the "Girl" and putting people of the other gender down.

The males seems to do the opposite, acting also stereotypical, saying things like "Dude" and other male slang.

They both seem to fling this around more then the average male or female on the internet, so much so that it seems like acting. I wonder why that is? I find this fustrating.

Why do you guys do this? As I said, this isn't typical behavior, and I assume some thought is going into it, conscious or not.

Well, what do you guys think?

(Disclaimer: I am not attacking your gender idenity)

For me.  It is the freedom to use words like Hon, Sweety girl and so forth.  I have always had fun with both men and women as far as putting the gender down.  I believe if we can't laugh at ourselves then we are a sad lot.  Race jokes are not tolerated however.

On this site it is just a relief to be able to have the interactions with the opposite gender, people like us and to express our true selves.  As for me, I am a real girlie girl when I can get away with it.  I just love being a woman.

And for the most part what you see is what you will get in person.



Hugs and Love
Janet

For me, some it is natural and some of it is just trying things out.  I was always in a cage that I built for myself out of society's expectations.  When I could, I would be silly, even when it got me in trouble as a pretend man.  Now I am free to express a lot of those things.  In some ways, those of us in transition are teenagers - experimenting, trying things out, seeing what fits and what doesn't.

And for me, most of the putting down the other gender is just having fun.  I wouldn't do it if I thought they wouldn't give it right back to me.  

Seriously, though, it is part of redifining yourself in the new gender role.  Some of us have a lot of the wrong socialization to peel off.  We'll be more realistic as we settle into our new roles.  (Probably. )

- Kate

I think I may sound silly.

But it's just me, regardless of my gender. It's just the way I sound like in my head.

Not silly, more on borderline insanity. Plus I just write and write, and then it becomes some epic thing when it begun just as a simple comment. I usually like to write all the small details like it was my personal journal for no apparent reason, and I think I have a small audience in my forums who like my words.

Do I sound feminine or masculine? I don't know, remove my avatar and my name I could be ambiguous.

I think people condition themselves into what they want to model after until they are exact replica of what they admire.

Think of Mean Girls, where Lindsay Lohan copy the blonde bee, until she actually became it.

Because I still appear quite obviously female, I think I do tend to play up my male characteristics (the way I speak, act and dress) a bit to get people I talk to to think beyond their original assumption about my gender. And if I were male-bodied it would be the other way round. I'm screwed either way, basically. 

I never use words like hon, girl, etc.

Huh, this is quite interesting, but I thought there would be more people posting.

So are you guys saying that you are sounding like that because you are experimenting? Or you are trying to appear more like the gender you want to be seen as?

And Laura, I didn't say EVERYONE was doing it.

For me, it is just who I am.



Hugs and Love
Janet

Quote from: Hazuki Heartwood on December 08, 2009, 09:28:45 PM

And Laura, I didn't say EVERYONE was doing it.

I know. I was just stating that I don't do that is all.

I do use hon a lot. lol

Quote from: Nero on December 08, 2009, 09:47:13 PM
I do use hon a lot. lol

I know, it's kind of awesome somehow when you do it.

I guess it seems somewhat counter-cultural to me.

I guess some people like Janet and Nero maybe do say those things naturally. I was just curious about the rest, unless we just have a really high concentration here or something, which would lead me to the question of why we have one here.

Interesting - I hadn't consciously noticed such a pattern in slang usage.

On the other hand, I have noticed (from my cis-perspective) quite a few ironic mentality "lapses" where an individual has said something that sounds just like what I would imagine someone of their *natal* gender to say.

At the risk of getting a punch in the teeth, I've noticed far more variation from FtM's - sometimes things are said that somehow stand out as "odd" or in some way incongruous against my own cis-conditioned and parochial view of what a male attitude is...often when I observe a debate on a thread   At the other end of the spectrum, there's one or two that come over as absurdly over-playing a male stereotype as if being brashly egocentric and viewing women as nothing but titty and bush is all there is to being a guy.

(Sometimes we are like that of course - but when it's overplayed in the wrong context, it really sticks out like the proverbial sore thumb)

I guess I wondering where I fit in these opinions of slang usage and lapses and over doing the gender role thing. Anyone willing to share? I would like to know if I need to alter my behaviors in some way. You may do it in a pm if you like.

I think there are large variations in how much people use "hun", "honey", "girl", "sweetie" in real life.
At work, one woman sometimes calls me "sweetie".
Another woman naturally uses "honey" on all under ten year-old customers.
Finally, one guy uses "miss" on all female customers even if they are 90!

Wait till you attend your first RL transgender meeting.  There you will be FLOODED with it.  It reminds me of people who, when first starting to transition, go overboard on how they dress sometimes to ludicrous levels, but eventually, after getting that out of their system, they settle back to more normative behavior.  I wouldn't get it get to you, and I think everyone is aware of it.

Possibly it's self-consciousness? When you're uncertain of yourself, and feel like you're surrounded by people who're probably examining every little thing you do (regardless of intent) things just come out awkwardly over-acted.

I don't know if I do anything like this. I'd be interested to find out.

The bit about saying things in ways that don't 'fit' the male gender stereotype though? Yeah, I smack of that, and I know it. Just because I want to be physically more male, doesn't mean I'm going to give up some of my hard-earned personality traits (like being conscientious, courteous, and caring for other people - being more in touch with my emotions - other 'empathic' attributes commonly associated with females). Won't do me any good to fling myself clear out of one gender box just to smash face-down into the other one.

Quote from: interalia on December 09, 2009, 01:59:17 PM
Wait till you attend your first RL transgender meeting.  There you will be FLOODED with it.  It reminds me of people who, when first starting to transition, go overboard on how they dress sometimes to ludicrous levels, but eventually, after getting that out of their system, they settle back to more normative behavior.  I wouldn't get it get to you, and I think everyone is aware of it.

At six weeks full time I went to a week-long (non-trans) conference in another city.  I took six pairs of shoes.  The woman I went with teased me about it a little but later said she realized it was like when she was a teenager – trying things out, not sure what would work, enjoying the opportunity to do it.

We have to learn how to operate this proto-woman or proto-man, just as a teenager has to learn how to operate this proto-adult.

And I like to be able to call people hun or sweetie or dear.  I think I'm entitled, being an older woman and all.

- Kate

I don't really fling out huns and stuff over the internet just because I don't believe that to be my writing. . . or really talking style.  I just think some people develop it because it's a way they maybe naturally talk and/or just type to people.  I don't look too deeply into the reasoning, it's just the way I prefer to talk and stuff haha.  However, I do tend to throw out "hahas" and smiley faces like there's no tomorrow.  And I'm just always weirded out over the internet because humor is sorta a hard aspect to get and I hate getting those in those awkward situations where someone takes you seriously when not meant to be

Now that you point it out, I'm suddenly aware that I use "dude" and "bro" a hell of a lot. I do it out loud too.

Can't remember the last time I wrote "dude" or "bro" here on the forums. When I use "dude" IRL, I usually use it for effect--as a joke or as a criticism of someone who thinks he's Way Too Cool to Live. Dude.