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Does anyone else get irked by this?

Started by Inphyy, December 12, 2009, 12:34:57 AM

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Inphyy

Is it just me or do I get irked when Cis-gendered people ask me questions about being Trans and all they can say is one word responses like: "Yeah!", "Ohhh!", "Wow..."

Seriously like for example:

Person: "Why are trans-people trans for?"

Me: "Well there's different opinions on this but mines is that the brain of a MtF is female but for some reason hormones got into the body and made it masculine...While the brain stays in a somewhat female state."

Person: "Wow..."

Person: "So do you have a pussy or a dick?"

Me: "Well obviously if your body is created as masculine then you, yourself should know that answer."

Person: "Ohhh!"

Me: "Lets flip this, if cis-gendered people were the ones that society fell harsh on instead of the LGBTQI community, you'd be sad yourself."

Person: "Yeah!"

...Seriously, I don't know why but when you put your full effort into getting people to understand things and they don't have any hype or truly want to know why things are the way they are...It irks me, how about you?

If people at least tried to care about our community and didn't seem awkward, bored or giving one word answers. People would get the true effect of understanding then some of the ignorant people out there.
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LordKAT

I tend to give one word answers when I heard what was said but need time to reflect on it before I comment or give an opinion. Perhaps others are the same way.
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FairyGirl

sometimes maybe they don't know how to respond or what to say, other than giving one word answers. You may be the only trans person they've ever spoken with about such things. Most people are simply ignorant of anything to do with transsexuals, so it may be just idle curiosity or they might actually want to know the answers. Anytime someone asks a question it's an opportunity to dispel some of that ignorance, so maybe we shouldn't be too hard on them for one word answers. It's better than a lot of derogatory words at least.
Girls rule, boys drool.
If I keep a green bough in my heart, then the singing bird will come.
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Inphyy

Quote from: FairyGirl on December 12, 2009, 01:59:20 AM
sometimes maybe they don't know how to respond or what to say, other than giving one word answers. You may be the only trans person they've ever spoken with about such things. Most people are simply ignorant of anything to do with transsexuals, so it may be just idle curiosity or they might actually want to know the answers. Anytime someone asks a question it's an opportunity to dispel some of that ignorance, so maybe we shouldn't be too hard on them for one word answers. It's better than a lot of derogatory words at least.

Ohh! Ho! Ho! Lets just say those nasty words were also edited out, this came from a real chat I had with someone and some things had to be blurred.
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Megan

Maybe they just don't care?

I don't care about the transsexual community that much, I only care about myself, okay that sounds mean but it's the truth. Someone explaining their problem/life to me, then I go "eh whatever shut up" in my head.

Unless of course it's going to help me.. other wise I'll go, "yeah hmm yeah, that's good cool".
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FairyGirl

Quote from: Maiuniti on December 12, 2009, 02:29:00 AM
Ohh! Ho! Ho! Lets just say those nasty words were also edited out, this came from a real chat I had with someone and some things had to be blurred.

ohhhh.... :P
Girls rule, boys drool.
If I keep a green bough in my heart, then the singing bird will come.
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Hannah

Um, in person I try to be polite and I don't "chat" so I can't say about that. The extent of a lot of people's exposure to transexuals is clips of talk shows. So, I try to put aside the stabbing pain that they can even tell I'm a transexual in the first place and just be nice to them. There's nothing wrong with saying "that's personal", if anything it's prolly the best way to address a question about ones genitals of any flavor.
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heatherrose



You can ask me anything you want, I may just sit there
and smile but you can ask me anything you want.


"I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you,
I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.

So let's make the most of this beautiful day,
Since we're together, we might as well say,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?" - Fred Rogers
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Hannah

The last person I actually bothered to talk to about this stuff was suprised that I'm a psych student, a child of light, a friend to dogs and humans alike and an all around normal person who is just facing crap that's a little different than most people. I sure fooled them  ::) 

I think they were expecting me to snap my fingers and hit somebody with a chair, I dunno. Sorry to be so boring.
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heatherrose

"I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you,
I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.

So let's make the most of this beautiful day,
Since we're together, we might as well say,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?" - Fred Rogers
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HollyHC

It's a shame learning isn't held in such a high regard as say...hitting a ball.

If people spend just a fraction more of their time learning what life is like for other people, then it would translate to a massive boost in the acceptance of everyone, not just the trans folk.

I can trace pretty much every problem with society to one cause - stupid people. And it's worse because virtually all those people had the opportunity to learn if they wanted.

I imagine in the future I will tell a lot of people to find out the answers for themselves, or don't ask unless they're actually interested in the answers.
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K8

The questions I get are about when I knew and what it was like trying to deal with it, etc.  I haven't had anyone ask about my body other than asking about the changes the hormones will cause and/or the details of genital surgery.

By and large, I don't see people as stupid.  (Although some are, for sure.)  It's ignorance and curiosity and the fact that me being transsexual brings up things they never thought of before.

Like HeatherRose, I tell them they can ask whatever they like but I might not answer everything they ask.

- Kate
Life is a pilgrimage.
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DamagedChris

Actually, the thing that urked me most about the conversation you used as example was that they thought it was ok to ask what you had "downstairs".

One of the managers at my work actually asked me if I was a "hermaphrodite" when I was informing my bosses about me going on hormones. As if it's their business what's in my pants or the reason for my transition...very few people in this world have the right to know what I have in between my legs: my partner and my doctor.
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Inphyy

Quote from: Christian >.> on December 13, 2009, 12:25:49 AM
Actually, the thing that urked me most about the conversation you used as example was that they thought it was ok to ask what you had "downstairs".

One of the managers at my work actually asked me if I was a "hermaphrodite" when I was informing my bosses about me going on hormones. As if it's their business what's in my pants or the reason for my transition...very few people in this world have the right to know what I have in between my legs: my partner and my doctor.

Thank you. Thank you very much! That was the point I was also trying to get across. True words by the way!
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aubrey

Many people have no real reference point for us, except perhaps the most sensationalized ones, and they have no need to, for many we are the first and the last they will ever come in close contact with or have to care about. They can't relate and don't understand and don't want to except a minor curiosity. Most people who have asked questions to me have one or two things they want to know about transpeople and aren't interested in details. Once those questions are answered it's....oh, ok. Done. Then there are others who we are close with and even ask alot of questions and try to understand and care but no matter what you say or how many times you politely ask them they still say the old name and the old pronoun. We live in an imperfect world get used to it.
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K8

If people ask what they have no business knowing, I tell them that my genitals are by invitation only, just as I assume theirs are.

- Kate
Life is a pilgrimage.
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Nero

It sounds to me like the person in question just didn't know what to say. I don't know what to say to half of what people tell me about themselves, let alone something I don't understand. This is still a condition that boggles most people's minds.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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LordKAT

Quote from: Nero on December 13, 2009, 08:51:53 AM
It sounds to me like the person in question just didn't know what to say. I don't know what to say to half of what people tell me about themselves, let alone something I don't understand. This is still a condition that boggles most people's minds.

Including my own.
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K8

Quote from: LordKAT on December 13, 2009, 04:41:22 PM
Including my own.

I agree.  I don't know if it is PC, but I can't count the number of times I've been telling cis friends about my adventures in becoming Kate and interjecting: This is just so weird. :P

Weird or strange yes, but I love it. :D

- Kate
Life is a pilgrimage.
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