hey everyone.   just wanted to talk about my choice to use gender neutral pronouns.  i made a video about it on here

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,69441.0.html

id also like to have some discussion on the subject of gender neutral ponouns.

Personal opinion, I am already asking people to change a habit. Asking them to learn, what to them, is a made up language besides, is just asking too much. I think it invalidates my self in their eyes and makes fun of how seriously this affects me.

Quote from: LordKAT on December 13, 2009, 11:42:07 AM
I think it invalidates my self in their eyes and makes fun of how seriously this affects me.

but wouldnt going by a "wrong" pronoun seriously effect you too?

Hi Josh,
i saw your video and get where you're coming from...wanting to retain a queer identity.
Maybe you could try giving people a choice, like telling them your first choice would be the gender neutral pronouns "  " and second choice is he/his - but you're fine with either/both. This would take the pressure off those who would have a hard time with it, and it would also give people the leeway to experiment - they could use masculine pronouns then occassionally use the gender neutral ones until they become more familiar. Know what I mean? Given that gender neutral pronouns are not in common use it would take some practice to get used to using them even if you were keen.
I would prefer neutral pronouns myself but don't like the ones I've heard so far. I've made up my own: ki/ker.

Personally I think the easiest thing to do is use the language already available i.e. they, them, their...

I used to want to use neutral pronouns, also had a title of Mx, but these days I like presenting as a woman. Ms, she, her work for me. It only affects me when someone calls me He or sir, or him, but most often I just let it slide. I don't feel it worth the effort. Also I like the contrast between how I look and when my daughter refers to me as daddy in public.

I think do what works for you, I don't think one size fits all for the queer when it comes to pronouns and titles and such. It is quite a personal thing. I do know that I can be she and still have a queer identity. I don't need others to see it for me to feel it.

Personally I like Em (which goes with eir, eir's, emself) I really don't care for the Ze ones...difficult to pronounce. I've started to adjust my own language so that when I don't know what gender identity someone is I'll use singular "they". People who are around me often just pick it up through conversation. There doesn't HAVE to be a big sit down "Now..I'd like you to start using this please and this is why, and this is why I don't like the other choices" On and on and on.
My mate has come out as transexual and many people in our life are having difficulty with her feminine pronouns, but after conversation with me and my modeling "good behavior" they seem to just pick it up without much thought about it. *shrugs*
I will admit though...much easier to use genderless pronouns on forums such as this aposed to face to face....

I love the idea of gender neutral pronouns!

If it's important to you, I say stick with it and the people who really care will eventually come around. 

I mean, heck, I'm still not used to them what-so-ever, and at first kinda scoffed at the idea.  Then I realized I was just dealing with my own demons, and once I got past those, I really respected people who were taking on that identity.  I mean, trans people tend to think they're kinda the bottom end of the rung, but I think gender-neutrality is totally modern and revolutionary in a way that even blows the trans-ideal outa-da-water.

So yeah, once again, if it's important to you, I say stick with it, because even though it's not common now, and hard for a lot of people to understand, if no one holds to what feels true to them now in the gender neutral community, then it'll take that much longer for it to infuse with the rest of society, ya know? 

I like the addition of Gender Neutral Pronouns. It adds a new option into our language which can make speaking it more fun, but also makes it easier to learn. I find though that it is difficult to get people to change their habits, & to be honest I would rather not use Ze etc. when his or hers will do. Though of course I do respect those who prefer a neutral pronoun.

The fact is though that the majority of our population are underexposed to this. The need for GN pronouns is not great enough for our culture to have seriously pushed a third option beyond what we already have.

That being the case GN Pronouns are currently only going to travel as far as the social circles of the Trans population and gender activists.