so i was in this bar it is well known lgbt club here in denver and this guy comes up to me at my table and asks point blank if im trans so i look him in the eye and say yes...(im armed by the way all off duty cops must be armed and mines in my purse) he says kewls and offers to buy me a drink so i let him. Now after heathers post on ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s ( i really hate that word) im a little leary of him he tells me his name is doug that he's bi and he thinks women with that little something extra between their legs are sexy as hell (bleh) more alarm bells so i tell him i dont like to use it.. and he says so you dont like it sucked.... Embarressing im sure im red as a beet at this point i say its ok but sometimes lately its painfull but as far as penetrating anything bleh id rather not thank you.. so he says i like doing the penetrating but i also like to suck ..wtf so im not sure how to read this guy he's cute but in a way im freaked out bye him most of my male relations have been with gay guys not bi...anyrates we danced a little then i went home i didnt give him my number he gave me his but i trashed it any thoughts on this sort of thing

jessica

Bleh, sounds like a bit of a creep.

You did the right thing Jessica. Just walk away sloooowly and... run!

In all seriousness, this sort of thing is what scares me a bit about transitioning. There are a lot of creeps out there and they would never understand why we actually don't like what's between our legs. Bleh is the right word for it!

Alexie. 

there was one point in the conversation where i asked him if he had ever dated transwoman before and he said once and he never really got over her and that she had moved away which i thought was sweet he stated that we were like exotic but worth the hunt..this made me smile... i dont know if its from years off being told your crap for being who you are or whatever but it is the reason i agreed to a dance i think heather is right they know the words to weasle their way into your mind it sucks really because i all ever wanted was to be loved for who i am
jessica

Yes.. condensed thoughts of thousands of other transsexuals in transition who have had attention from a guy who 'likes the thing between your legs'.. He's seeing you as a guy!  Is that what you want?  If he still comes onto you next time you see him tell him he needs to go to the nearest 'cottage/tea room' where he can have all the penis he wants.   And if he is such a devotee of penis you have to wonder about his cleanliness.

There are nice guys out there so go where they are...which is not in the lgbt places!

2 words: ->-bleeped-<- .... ->-bleeped-<-!

heh

I've heard this same story from guys practically word for word.  It's always the same, they like to be the "man" and do all the penetrating, they just like that little "extra" for oral, they see you as a woman but with that little "extra"...blah blah blah.  Eventually it all comes back to them wanting to be penetrated and see having it done by a transwoman more acceptable to their fragile little psyches.  Strangely enough I've heard the same 'Oh I used to date a TS woman years ago but she moved away.  We were very much in love and blah blah blah...'.  Uh huh, ok, wasn't born yesterday.

My advice..skip him. 

btw..your department allows off-duty carry in bars/clubs? I'm a former police officer and that's always been the one no-no even for mandatory off-duty carry.  Just thought that was interesting.

Take off the heels and run very fast to the nearest exit.  You did good, Jesse.

A regular El Creepo.



Blessed Be
Janet

It's a shame he read you as a T. If he read you as a female he wouldn't be interested, that is the irony of it all.

Quote from: Naturally Blonde on December 16, 2009, 12:03:25 PM
It's a shame he read you as a T. If he read you as a female he wouldn't be interested, that is the irony of it all.

Exactly! If someone likes you BECAUSE you're trans....that's a bit different from someone liking you for the woman you are but being accepting of the fact that you're trans also.

btw..your department allows off-duty carry in bars/clubs? I'm a former police officer and that's always been the one no-no even for mandatory off-duty carry.  Just thought that was interesting.

Me too, our clubs will not let an off-duty police officer carry in the club, they have to put their gun in the safe, or take it back to their car.  We even have an off duty cops on our security staff for the big crazy shows, and he does not carry either.

Quote from: Naturally Blonde on December 16, 2009, 12:03:25 PM
It's a shame he read you as a T. If he read you as a female he wouldn't be interested, that is the irony of it all.

I think that's the first thing you've ever said that I agree with lol.

Honestly, I prolly would have let him screw my brains out then would have been suprised when he started getting weird so thanks for this thread.

If you are in a well known lgbt club its an easy assumption.

I know, and it makes sense in writing...but it's harder to make good decisions where men are involved when they are sitting there making you feel like the center of the universe.

Maybe he really did just want to see her gun, what a let down. I'm sorry honey. I've met some pretty good guys in the library, and I actually met an awesome one (I think) at the grocery store last night so hang in there cause they do exist...it's just most of the good ones are taken 

One thing I know for sure is people like us have to be very careful. Although I am very feminine and pass well I am constantly alert for dangerous situations. Your encounter screams red flags and I would be very afraid. As a woman I want to be romanced and get to know someone well before I am intimate. A GG would be turned off by this cad. When I was first intimate with a man it was with a friend of a friend who was gentle, respectful and caring. We did not discuss specific sex acts and things just progressed naturally. When he finally took me I felt very feminime and good and was glad I was not a slam bam thank you mam.

Pam

A GG would be turned off by this cad.

Oh don't be so sure, good girls make bad choices every single night.

QuoteOne thing I know for sure is people like us have to be very careful

I kind of have to say whatever. Several months ago I got the everliving crap beat out of me by someone I loved and trusted. I couldn't have been more careful. If I had been armed like Jesse was, he would be dead because I would have shot him in the face until he didn't have a face anymore...and I've been out a couple times since then with other people and have been treated nothing but gently and respectfully. Like Tekla mentioned we kind of have to keep the venue in mind...what do you expect from a gay bar?

Sure a genetic girl would have been turned off by that guy and that seems to be the consensus here too but meh; this is kind of what we have to pick from right now. So maybe we don't want to make life plans around these people but lordy I'm really tired of sleeping alone and my brother's dog just stinks my place up. Personally I hold pretty closely to exchange theory in terms of relationships, and if I get companionship and a pair of strong arms around me I don't think this guys terms sound completely unworkable. I'd have to decline on all grounds if he started wanting to be penetrated though, but the way you folks are talking every genetic male who wants to have sex with one of us is a ->-bleeped-<- and we should run away run away.

QuoteWhen I was first intimate with a man it was with a friend of a friend who was gentle, respectful and caring.

Seriously? My first time and a lot of people's firsts was with a clumsy, conflicted, self-hating closet case who wouldn't even look me in the eye. I ended up sleeping with his sister too (hey you should try everything once) and she at least would talk to me, lol.

Anyway that's just my take on it. I don't think I have ever met a bona fide "->-bleeped-<-" so I could be full of it for all I know and they are the devil. I dunno, time will tell I guess because if something is trouble I can guarantee I'll find it eventually.

Quote from: BrandiOK on December 16, 2009, 10:37:56 AM
I've heard this same story from guys practically word for word.  It's always the same, they like to be the "man" and do all the penetrating, they just like that little "extra" for oral, they see you as a woman but with that little "extra"...blah blah blah.  Eventually it all comes back to them wanting to be penetrated and see having it done by a transwoman more acceptable to their fragile little psyches.  Strangely enough I've heard the same 'Oh I used to date a TS woman years ago but she moved away.  We were very much in love and blah blah blah...'.  Uh huh, ok, wasn't born yesterday.

My advice..skip him. 

btw..your department allows off-duty carry in bars/clubs? I'm a former police officer and that's always been the one no-no even for mandatory off-duty carry.  Just thought that was interesting.

actually brandi most bars in denver employ off duty so yeppers not an issue with my agencie

That's been my experience with all but one guy. Once I told them I was trans and they were o.k. with it they immediately wanted to know if they could suck and be fu--ed...and I said "no I don't use it EVER" , to which they replied "why not? O come on you shouldn't be ashamed of what you have" blah blah....."I've never told anyone this, but I did things with my best friend a few years ago". It's so funny when they say that like it's a big secret cuz most of them say that. I would try to explain things a little more but it was always a lost cause. Once they knew I was trans it was all about the one thing I want to be rid of most. Spending 20 minutes arguing about my stuff is not my idea of a turnon. "->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-" doesn't really apply for most of them because they were surprised when I told them.

if you look back at the recent history of my department you will find were 2 off duty officers employed at a tavern shot a patron to death as he was leaving the bar. he attempted to run over them with his car after being ordered to exit the vehicle. both officers were armed inside the property and were the altercation started. The shooting was ruled justifiable. Denver and colorado in general gives its officers alot of leway towards use of force. You may recall the coke can shooting or the shoting of a teenager fleeing the property of a city council member after having been seen jumping over the rear fence of her property. not saying any of this is right or just...just that it is the way it is here.
jessica