hey guys I know i dont come here often anymore but this just came to me and it is calling me strongly to share it so I do

who knew? theres a whole little secret world behind this one full of
little people and effects this world and our world effects it, i've
heard them called zoons, wasn't it a movie or just a dream? a movie so
real it became my life, it drove so many peoplle crazy, or so many
true, some who would pretend to never see anything, and others who
would see and use for any purpose. I stayed at home and played much
guitar, it was all i could do. I knew it was good, I wondered why no
one said anything when they came back through the door, why they never
asked to play guitar anymore, I realized they must have been doing it
out there. Why could I leave I wondered? This place began to seem more
like a prison. I remember The taoists who had suddenly appeared out of
no where, the women's basketball team? And who were they? What did
they stand for, they dissapeared though we danced for a bit, and
asking where is georgetown, oh whats the name of that town? That small
town, that little town everyone knows about, that amish town? He lives
in the forest, or do you mean SHE??
kids joke about it, I didn't think it was very funny, but something
about the older women, my mom, made me feel very strange, they seemed
so mean, whistful, but dying. Strong every colored, everything'd
woman, but poisoned, head
assauged in a thousand injustices, renewed anger so much. Now I see it
in myself that I can say this. Its that poem that that crazy girl
wrote, for me, one of my Mom's friends. Don't try and interfere with
my life when you understand nothing at all, when you have secret plans
and motives, you'd never tell HIM anything about.
What do you think I don't know, you think I can't feel the tension
every time, you're around, trying to act hunky dory? Angry at every
honest move? Why do you do it like that? Are you sad? Why don't you
say it?
I try to tell you about change, the revolution at my window, under the
bed, on your shoulder, IN THE AIR!!! I know you've seen it you say
nothing, you've buried it, maybe destroyed it in yourself, thinking it
was better for me.
No NO! Don't think llike that, a thousand buddhas, a thousand
asankheyas, doesn't mean anything to you? Honestly it means a lot to
me, you are crazy, you are sick, you are poisoned, beautiful, but
evil, decieving, why? That you do it outside, and never bring it back,
and I do it in here, but raised this way, around these halls, that
were my tao, where I was a giant in the universe and fairy in the
world, but I could never get out, you'd never really help me with
that.
So yeah, wanti is growing and saiyazen is knowing, and there is no
time but its flowing, on and on and on. Flo, I told you about here and
you have the nerve to try to take advantage of her transparency
problem, making it more and more about you.. what do you want from me?
Do you want me to be yours? Thats disgusting. Why do you show it so
much, you're so unhappy, somehow or are you all deception and lies and
like a thousand mirrors that came down from the sky? Pretending to be
my mother. Only pretending, clinging, screaming. Cross-eyed, at every
simple innocent truth, I ever knew. Do you know how much pain and
suffering that has caused me? did you turn me into a boy or something?
I know you made me crazy, but I'm better now, I try to help you but
you don't want it. I know to help you is to help myself, but you keep
attacking me whenever I get close.
TRY ANOTHER WAY, trust... listen to the Pomo, I know you are used to
God, I know, listen to the Pomo, she is healing, she is true, she
comes from you, she comes from me, we come from her, really, we werent
even told and she came, so much closer, and you deny this, because you
still have so much God in your head. God that destroyed so many
people, and trapped them all in his cave, in his book, and confused
them, made them serve him, just a man pretending to be all of nature, just a
demon, seducing whatever he can, from the sky, turning us to judge one
another, to fight against one another, to desecrate our planet,
leaving her out of every decision, still she shines through. Because
Mother Earth, you are beautiful and you are not inferior, we have used
you wrong for so long, please I know its unfair to even say be strong,
but be strong, you are strong, I'm trying to bring them around,
they're trying to bring them around, them, all of them, in their own
way. We're not all supposed to be the same. We're all different
families split off from one, we all shouldn't be the same, there are
spirits and deities, like there are organs, and more than just black
and white, there are colors, I've seen them, have you? They are bold,
they move me, and everything, like a rainbow clattering softly on my
back, my chest, up and down, everywhere, prismatic. Even God who is
Upto knows and he feels bad, I know this because I met him now, he's
sad he wanted me to comfort him, and so I figured out slowly what was
wrong, while he smiled and said the nicest things. Regretting so much
he'd done, lonely, knowing it caused our loneliness. Because your
brain can't do it all, great and mysterious, infinite though it is,
your heart can't do it all, with all the love in the world almost,
almost,
but not
your stomach can't do it all, though we're getting warmer, and liver
and pancreas and eye balls, and hands can't do it all by themselves,
maybe for a little while but not all the time, even with a friend,
theres so much we can, we can go to other worlds, we can feel THAT
bliss, we can remember how it was a little, like flashbacks,
flashbacks, to when when was that anyways, ten years ago? Every kid
feels it, but it is still a memory in their soul, from where they come
from, from what heaven is really like, just the parts of life, the
spirits, that we ignore now. If we just listened and let ourselves
shine like the stars we are on the inside, and ride the waves of our
souls into the high tides of real Love's vibes, on our own selves, but
knowing our friends, knowing where we came from, it wouldn't be so bad
to die, it wouldn't be so much a struggle, and the dead would come
back more often, we'd see they were just over the hills of the valley,
just a little out of our sight. And same of the fairies, and same of
the elves, and same of all the wise ones who lived with the ever
changing light, our ancestors.
You can get a hint at it, but even a friend is not a enough, it is a
revolution know this, there has been so much prophecy, all big and
scary, its not scary, it is some work, but its most rewarding, work
that comes by letting go, by not listening to snakes, not for know,
Pomo help you know what this really means, or maybe Brigid, who is the
one who sees clearly? Yola, can help! She is a friend, she is the
light, who can be uptight about names, its all connected, but its not
all the same,  isn't it clear? Its laughable how they say NON-dualism
is different from dualism. How One is different from two and three and
four, what kind of One is that? That was the One of long ago, the
beginning, before this was all here, not the one of today, we cannot
go back to that One, and we should not, the many are so wonderful, and
beautiful, and eventually they will lead us back as we all find
ourselves Oned, as we grow, we complete our true growth, and go to our
potential but its a journey.

I giggle but haven't you seen those videos of the eggs and sperms?
This is how I see it now, I see it as sacred, I know it is a journey,
I know by having these words out here, there is healing and returning
and growing. I have lived and grown and loved, and seen some
similarities and differences, but I'm still taking my test as are all
of you who can read this, so lets rest when we need but head on, and
head on, wytipodating. Growing

Aigy. Love

the secret doesnt want to be a secret anymore, i want to no longer be
crippled so i cannot get out of the door
but i want to live the reason  i am here for

and at the right time there is all forgiveness and all peace, it comes
a little at a time at first, the closer we near Wanti, which is the
Earth as she really is, as I have seen her in dreams, the greater it
will all become. This I KNOW
please respond, or act on it it is beyond us