Just curious - i'm watching The Closer and one of the guest characters is a transwoman. So far it has been slightly humorously painting pictures of transgender/transsexual while also giving facts. There's some discrimination on the part of other characters as well as support from other.

Anyone use a show like this to test the waters with family? WOULD anyone? Any other shows you know of that specifically deal with transgender/transsexual that is factual but humorous?

Not really looking for documentary (though suggestions would be welcome) just looking for stuff to test waters with.

And no, i can't use the film "Boys Don't Cry" - as good as it is at outlining the trouble we go through, my parents would be outraged at the blatant sex and would focus more on THAT than anything else 

I wouldn't do it before coming out because of some concern that my family would think my "transness" was a phase, and I was emulating a TV character.

In fact, I think I'd even be wary showing it to them just after coming out.

It might work to introduce the concept to a very closed environment, but you run the risk of the above situation happening when you do come out.

Whichever way you do it - I hope when you are ready for it that it goes well.

I wouldn't ever, EVER use "Boys Don't Cry" to educate family....aside from the blatant lawlessness/sex that the community shows, the violence shown toward Brandon would scare my family sh**less and cause them to want to "convert me to normal" as if they were saving my life. Some of my family would also twist and misconstrue it to "I want to be a boy so I can get into straight girls' pants easier" or some bull like that.

I've honestly seen very little TV that I felt was a comfortable representation of a transperson. The worst being of course Jerry Springer episodes (which are pry the reason why I have had so much issue coming to grasp with the idea that I am not a sideshow freak).

The best I've personally come across was an episode of Dead Like Me, where Daisy Adare goes to a plastic surgery clinic to collect a soul. She assumes it to be one of the two snobbish rich women in the room, but the soul ends up being a very normal-looking, if not timid, man in the corner. When she finds the name matches her post-it note, she replies "I thought you'd be a woman", to which the timid-looking man replies with a smile, "I will be soon." One lethal high heel to the forehead later, they both have a conversation (the transwoman now dead, and just a soul) and the story arc ends with them making one last trip to a church, where she wished to visit before departing. She starts throwing things at the altar, breaking down in tears and asking aloud why she was born in a male body in a pretty powerful scene. I liked the story arc simply for the ending, as there were things I didn't like about it...but it didn't pose the transwoman as a drag queen or in a poor light, Daisy remained supportive through the conversation and they talked about things like it was nothing at all odd, and the end outburst was a monologue of the discomfort and confusion we all feel about the bodies we were born in.

That said, I don't watch TV much. That one episode wasn't really fantastic for outlining any really big steps forward in daily life of a transperson, but did show me one of the first real positive images I got from TV about transpeople.

Teknoir has a very good point about the "phase" issue. If you do, I would also suggest staying away from anything that treats transpeople in a violent manner, as I stated before...your family could attempt to put you on lockdown to "protect you from yourself".

And no, i can't use the film "Boys Don't Cry" - as good as it is at outlining the trouble we go through, my parents would be outraged at the blatant sex and would focus more on THAT than anything else

It speaks volumes that its the sex that worries them and not the horrific violence at the end.  I'd try to use real life examples of people telling their own stories, instead of what BDC is, reality filtered through the New Yorker, and then further filtered through a Hollywood screenplay.

Quote from: tekla on December 19, 2009, 07:46:43 AM
It speaks volumes that its the sex that worries them and not the horrific violence at the end.  I'd try to use real life examples of people telling their own stories, instead of what BDC is, reality filtered through the New Yorker, and then further filtered through a Hollywood screenplay.

The only reason the sex would stand out to them more than the violence is because we're all avid TV watchers, and violence is a huge part of the shows we watch (Law and Order, CSI, Bones - even the movies we watch.)

Sex is like "taboo" in our family - every time it's on TV my parents go "OMFG, they're showing THAT?!?" You should hear them when someone swears..... I was watching Queer as Folk once and mom popped her head into my room "I can hear the swearing all the way down the hall, does that woman (in reference to Debbie) HAVE to swear so much?!" Another time she focused on the only gay couple kissing (wayyy in the back of the shot) while an underaged teen danced half naked on stage to catcalls. And god forbid someone, anyone, on any show... says the word "dick."

So yeah, my mom is strange.

The only time violence/death bothers them is if it's based off of something that actually happened (so i'm pretty sure they would be upset at the violence as well once they got past the sex stuff.) Or if kids are involved.

Quote from: Christian >.> on December 19, 2009, 04:39:31 AM
I wouldn't ever, EVER use "Boys Don't Cry" to educate family....aside from the blatant lawlessness/sex that the community shows, the violence shown toward Brandon would scare my family sh**less and cause them to want to "convert me to normal" as if they were saving my life. Some of my family would also twist and misconstrue it to "I want to be a boy so I can get into straight girls' pants easier" or some bull like that.

Teknoir has a very good point about the "phase" issue. If you do, I would also suggest staying away from anything that treats transpeople in a violent manner, as I stated before...your family could attempt to put you on lockdown to "protect you from yourself".

They could try to lock me up - they've tried before (back in high school when they realized i read/wrote gay lit). They failed, miserably. I see you're point though - hence why i sad i wouldn't use that movie.

My parents are more visual type people - they tend to WATCH more than READ, hence why i was asking about shows that may help.

I used two things.  One was Barbara Walter's special on transgender kids.  Was 3 parts on you tube.  Not the best quality but very informative.  The other was an msn documentary by a guy on the yahoo lists (link below).  And a guy named Ryan Salas has done some media interviews that are informative.

When I first started coming out I had Thomas Beattie dominating the news, so yes I pointed to him and told people he wasn't a freak despite the media.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/26872503#26872503

I have no problem using the media to gauge people's reactions before coming out.  In fact it can make things easier.


Jay

Well, at the time I was trying to come out to my Mom, "A girl like me" was premiering on Lifetime, and I suggested we watch it together. I think it went a ways in preparing her understanding of this as a condition and not a choice. Many years before I ever considered coming out, I had her watch 'Ma vie en rose' and she made a comment of understanding that this starts in childhood. At the time there really weren't any movies focusing on the ftm experience that I felt comfortable showing her. Boys don't cry for many reasons as mentioned, and I was afraid to show the Robert Eads doc for fear she might focus on the health risks.
Maybe try to find a clip of Chaz Bono or even something with Cher in it to casually bring the subject up.

i saw that episode of the closer.  it made me all warm in side because they represented trans women so accurately.

*shrugs*

Turns out i didn't need to "suggest" a thing when it came to the show. When i came down from my shower mom was already starting to watch it - apparently she was on a Closer kick (she'd watched a previous episode while i was cleaning my gerbils and showering.) Who knew?

I was actually amazed and found i was right about how she would be (i'm more worried about my dad than mom) - she wasn't scoffing or making comments, she just watched the show like it where any other. Even used the correct "she", "her", etc though she laughed (humorously) in the beginning when the character introduced herself as "georgette" to her cop ex-partner.

Go figure.

Good suggestions so far, though! Hmm....

Quote from: sneakersjay on December 19, 2009, 09:17:21 AM
I used two things.  One was Barbara Walter's special on transgender kids.  Was 3 parts on you tube.  Not the best quality but very informative.  The other was an msn documentary by a guy on the yahoo lists (link below).  And a guy named Ryan Salas has done some media interviews that are informative.

When I first started coming out I had Thomas Beattie dominating the news, so yes I pointed to him and told people he wasn't a freak despite the media.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/26872503#26872503

I have no problem using the media to gauge people's reactions before coming out.  In fact it can make things easier.


Jay

thanks for posting that Jay, i def am showing that to my mom, even though i already explained to her everything, it might better explain a few things.

Mark

I'm not of much help, but damn your parents sound just like mine. It's weird.

I like Nero's idea of the Lifetime thing. Mothers love those, right? You just need to convince her it's not your fault you're transsexual. Or if she cares at all for your happiness, how depressed you will be if you don't transition (not sure how you'll manage that one)

a long while ago when that Tila Tequila show was on, my dad and and I saw a commercial for it on TV and he said he will never have a child who's gay, bisexual or anything like that. So I assume he wouldn't be very accepting to trans related stuff..

Quote from: mL on December 23, 2009, 01:13:48 AM
a long while ago when that Tila Tequila show was on, my dad and and I saw a commercial for it on TV and he said he will never have a child who's gay, bisexual or anything like that. So I assume he wouldn't be very accepting to trans related stuff..

I take it he hasn't figured out yet that he doesn't get to choose.

Quote from: LordKAT on December 23, 2009, 01:18:00 AM
I take it he hasn't figured out yet that he doesn't get to choose.

LOL  That was my thought too.

Um dude, ya got one right here !


Jay