So, I'm 63, and for most of those years I believe I've had GID. And, for most of those years I have been easily frustrated and quick to anger, over trivial and minor things. If my car skids out of control in the rain with a semi bearing down in the mirror and a bridge railing coming up in front, I don't panic, or emit a girlish scream (actually, somewhat of a fault not reacting in a gender stereotype semi-appropriate manner), I try to control the skid, keep out of the railing, and look for a way to get the big guy around me safely. I may or may not succeed, but am not much given to paralyzing fear and panic. That actually did happen to me once. I didn't panic. Also, I didn't control the skid, hit both railings, but luckily the big guy did better then me and got stopped. I said I didn't panic, didn't claim to be Wonder Woman!

But, if the computer locks up fo a minute, I slightly burn something on the stove, I set the VCR wrong, or any of a thousand little, dinky, highly unimportant daily things, I blow up. I don't cry - I wish I did, god how I wish I did! A pet peeve of mine is repeating something I just said. Well, I'm soft spoken, my wife is getting hard of hearing, she runs the TV, and doesn't hear something I say, something vital, like, "Do you want the bread plain or toasted?" She doesn't hear what I said, so I have to repeat it, and I snap at her. I hate that! Hate it, hate it, HATE IT! I hate every little annoyance setting me off! I'm not violent, never hit anyone, rarely broken anything, it's just blowing off, but she has earned not being blown up at!

So, lately, as I've started to research and address the GID seriously, I keep seeing where when someone has anger issues and has regular or chemical castration to cut the "T" poisioning way down and goes on female hormones, they quickly calm down, quiet or moderate their temper-losing, and develop a wonderful mood. Am I reading what I want to read? I would love it if it meant a two-fur: Gender Dysphoria correction, and Attitude adjustment in one treatment, but does it? Assuming HT, am I expecting too much to have my temper rise above a six-year-old spoiled brat boy? I know, I too have seen some spoiled brat girls that would win the contest hands down, but I don't want to be in the contest!

I don't know or think that it makes much difference to me whether or not HRT could work two miricles, but that would make things easier if it could.

You girls with at least HRT under your belts, and perhaps having had either  Orchiectomy or full SRS, is there any hope of it helping me to grow up as well as out, or am I doomed to continue as a hopelessly flawed bitch?

SusanKG

Personal experience....

Pre HRT and off HRT I have a severe temper... I'm that evil person who picks fights at bars and smashes random things and hits there parents because of little annoyances. Most of the time Id be calm and stoic... but push too far (which wasn't hard) and It would be like a pot of oil boiling over onto an open flame.... oh and whomever was present was the glass of water to put it out.

Post HRT (I've also since had an orchi)  On HRT I'm extremely calm, though I do get emotional at times, something that wasnt possable before starting hormones.  I still get angry, but I'll also cry or scream but I don't get violent unless directly provoked and feel physically threatened. When Ive gone off HRT before the orchi Id quickly revert back to snapping at the drop of a hat. I've also gone off HRT since the orchi and will still revert somewhat into the fear and anger mode... but its not as bad as it used to be.

The hormones in the hormone therapy, for me at least are far more calming than removing the T from my system.  At the same time my T levels have always been fairly low.... I'm sure you'll hear lots of similar stories.

I've definitely noticed myself to be a lot more calm, especially after my orchi, than I was before.  On the flip side, I've noticed I'm a lot more sensitive to emotions in general, so I sometimes get a little overwhelmed by feelings, both in good and bad ways.... but definitely not the anxious / frustrated feelings I had before. 

I don't hit ppl or anything, and usually I'm good -- but I can be a real bitch too, and I can have a temper. LOL But, part of that is my bpd (borderline personality disorder), and has nothing to do with my GID. Although many people may find that they get calmer with HRT, I would be careful in saying HRT is a cure for anger/temper issues.

I was never very aggressive or reactive.
Now that my T level is even below most natal women, that's even more so.
In fact, sometimes I kick myself later thinking that I should have reacted stronger in some situation.

I cry very easily. I enjoy it usually.
The other side is that seeing somebody crying in public reduces me to tears.

Pre HRT and Orchie, I was Dr. Jeckle and could become Hyde quickly.  After HRT it took a bit to bring out Hyde.  Now post-Orchie, Hyde just hides.  I cry easier, which is a thrill really, and slow to angry.

But if you get me really angry .... Well Dr. Bruce Banner said it best.  "Just don't get me angry.  You wouldn't like me angry". 


Janet

     I have always had anger issues, blowing up-screaming-breaking things etc.  I went on HRT about 5 years ago, no srs or orkie, and I am certainly less prone to outbursts.  My wife (who also doesn't deserve it) likes me much better this way, and says that I am much calmer.  I would warn, though, that I still get mad.  There are still things in my life that frustrate me and that is what sets it off.  It is just that now a lack of forward movement in my transition is not contributing to it.  HRT helps, but is not a panacea. That is why GOD made Zanax.
     I wish you well in your evident attempt to keep your wife.  I am extremely fortunate in having one who would actually prefer me to transition faster, and more completely.  If you read the boards here or elsewhere, you will see that it becomes a relationship killing issue in a LOT of marriages.  May you and yours beat the odds.

Quote from: Renate on December 27, 2009, 07:58:59 AMI cry very easily. I enjoy it usually.
The other side is that seeing somebody crying in public reduces me to tears.

interesting, I'm the same exact way, especially during certain times of the month.

A recent (Dec. 8th) article in the journal Nature suggests that testosterone's link to aggression (note: not anger) may be all in our minds. From a mailing list I'm on:

QuoteA study conducted by the Universities of Zurich and Royal Holloway London suggests that the association between testosterone and aggression is all in our heads. Research with 120 subjects indicates that the hormone can actually encourage fair behavior when it suits one's own purposes.

Though the hormone is often associated with virility, aggression and risky behaviors, the latest research challenges this connection. Previous studies with castrated rodents demonstrated a reduction in combativeness post-intervention and the findings have been long generalized to humans. However, neuroscientist, Christoph Eisenegger and economists Ernst Fehr and Michael Naef believe that their work refutes the rodent-based findings.

"We wanted to verify how the hormone affects social behavior," Dr. Eisenegger explains. "We were interested in the question: what is truth, and what is myth?"

Their study is published in the journal, Nature and involved a behavioral experiment with 120 participants. Prior to the testing, subjects were administered either 0.5 mg of testosterone or a placebo and then became involved in a partnered negotiation over real money. Those who with an artificially increased testosterone level generally made fairer offers than those given the placebos. "The preconception that testosterone only causes aggressive or egoistic behavior in humans is thus clearly refuted," concludes Eisenegger.

"In the socially complex human environment, pro-social behavior secures status, and not aggression," explains Naef. "The interplay between testosterone and the socially differentiated environment of humans, and not testosterone itself, probably causes fair or aggressive behavior".

Interestingly, the researchers also found that the misconception that testosterone causes aggression is deeply entrenched and reflected in behavioral patterns. Those who believed they received testosterone boosts made the most obviously unfair offers. Naef suggests, "it appears that it is not testosterone itself that induces aggressiveness, but rather the myth surrounding the hormone. In a society where qualities and manners of behavior are increasingly traced to biological causes and thereby partly legitimated, this should make us sit up and take notice."

This is interesting because my own personal experience is just the opposite. Perhaps I'm confusing anger and frustration with aggression. Perhaps also the sheer frustration of "being female trapped in a male body" is the real root of the anger and frustration, and not necessarily the testosterone itself.

I just know my life is so much better now without it, in every conceivable way. There is no way I could ever go back to being saturated with it.