Recently, a friend has come out that he is a man trapped in a woman's body. After many questions, and reading a rather in depth blog about it, I've come to realize I may be as well.
I always felt like I was different. I'm not a typical girl. I don't like to dress up, I hate shoes that are uncomfortable, I dislike make-up... the list goes on. In fact, I've come to realize the only thing about me that is girly (besides my body, of course), is that I like my hair long and when it's really curly. That's it.
I'm a 34 year old geek. I always found it easier to "hang out with the guys", than I did to hang out with girls. Reading superhero comics, watching the lovely 80s cartoons, and my love of Star Trek and other science fiction made me realize I was a geek, and proud of that. But something else was there.
When I was a kid, I used to absolutely love watching hockey, playing with the guys whenever they'd do some sort of sport. In fact, I remember being a little agitated whenever my mom would pull me aside and say that's for the guys, or whenever she would dress me up in dresses.
I always thought that perhaps it was just that I was a tomboy. But somehow that label didn't fit me either. I tried to do all the normal things I thought a woman was supposed to do. Even getting married, with the white dress and all. But somehow I never felt close to my husband, in fact, I never slept with him. I told myself it was because I didn't fully trust him, as he proved himself to be dishonest and untrustworthy, but now I am starting to think it might be something else. Our marriage wound up falling apart, and now I find I am quite alright with being by myself, and with my cat.
Am I a guy in a woman's body? I do believe I might be, but I also want to know how one goes about figuring these things out. Would I get my body transformed to a man's? The only thing I see myself doing is getting rid of my periods, as I find them quite painful and annoying. I don't think I would be interested in changing my body... But I do feel as though something has been lit up inside me, thanks to my friend's honesty about his journey.
I also refer to myself on the phone or in person as "us" or "we". In fact, my mother pointed that out to me, and I found that weird as well. Is there something to that as well?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for listening.
TG
