Well 2009 was a really tough year.  I've been looking forward to 2010 and the promise it brings.  I will be having my first child this year and with that will be some major changes.  Let me share some backstory.

When my wife and I first married, I was big corporate business man.  I made a ton of money though.  My wife was fresh out of college, had no interest in progressing or using her degree, hated people and work, so ended up working for a very quiet book store at minimum wage just to help pay off her school debt.

The next few years brought big changes and revelations.  I hated my job, not so much WHAT I was doing, but the kind of person I had to be to do it.  Being myself made employment tough there so I found myself slipping more and more away from my core self to become what made me successful.  My wife on the other hand told me of her real desires to be the breadwinner of the family, that she wanted success in her life and career.  We both felt helpless though for our own reasons - like neither of us were equipped to obtain what we really wanted.

Boy did that change though.  I left my job to finish school and was unable to find anything similar at all.  I've been working at a very low paying job compared to what I'm used to.  MY wife on the other hand has flourished.  2 promotions and a huge benefits package and suddenly between the two of us she has become provider.  Her benefits are amazing and her pay, while still not what I was making before, is certainly sufficient to our needs.  She has really enjoyed a new sense of accomplishment as well as self esteem due to her successes and things she once thought impossible of herself are coming true.  Likewise the same has been occurring with me.  I've been able to talk more about what I really want to do and how I wish to live my life - ideas once that seemed like a pipe dream.

So here we are 2010 and here is the situation.  My wife is providing for the family working her 9 to 5, has excellent benefits and is very stable at a business that has done nothing but flourished even in these difficult times.  I, who am a huge self starter, but do not take well to authority have been given an opportunity to work for myself, start a home based business for extra money and allow me to get out from under "the man" where I can be myself.  Finally, with children on the way this year, I can be the stay at home dad with the business - in the nurturing role where I am most comfortable.  She has never been comfortable with children and has a hard time sharing affection so she dreaded being the one at home all the time with the kids.  She also HATES to cook and to clean whereas I love doing that stuff (and have been since we got married).  Being at home will allow me to much more efficiently run the affairs of the home - something I've longed to do.

I cannot tell you how amazing this is.  I've got an opportunity to grab hold of the lifestyle I feel more apt for while my wife has the opportunity to do the same this year.  It is truly exciting.

*hugs* Congratulations. Sounds awesome.

Awesome I'm very happy for you, sounds like a good start to the year.

That's awesome! Great that you and your wife both get to do what you love. 

How wonderful you both were able to break out of your respective boxes and be the people you really are.  Congratulations on all the changes and the good prospects.  Sounds like 2009 was a watershed year.  And it sounds like 2010 will be, too.

*hugs*
Kate

Congratulations. i am a stay at home dad. I just started working part time (about 15 hours a week) which allows me to speak to other adults but be home with my children when they are not in school. I think it is great if you can be a stay at home parent.
Cheers,
Myles

Well congratulations, of all the people I read on this board if I had to elect somebody to parent, I would have voted for you first.  Big changes indeed - biggest one I ever had in my life.

But, a word of caution - or at least a plea for really effective time-management skills - both of those things, being a parent, or running your own business easily are 30 hours a day, 8 days a week deals.  And its not impossible, but it is weirdly difficult.  Two activities less complementary to each other would be hard to find.

But hey, when my ex and I ran the club the kids were at the club, I had them taking tickets before they were 10.  The younger one mixed his first band when he was all of 13, and most of it I never taught him, he just watched and learned.  Though I'm sure that lots of people would not think a rock nightclub is the best place for kids to be hanging out, I always found that it - like everything else in show biz - is really the last family job where kids are always about (underfoot) and nepotism is not a dirty word, its a positive value.  And they learned to work, for sure on that.  When I was doing grad school and teaching I brought them with me all the time, their research skills - along with their ability to Xerox like a mofo - served them well when they went to college.

So I guess to the degree that you can incorporate them into each other, it will be a little bit easier.  It's a balancing act worthy of Cirque du Soleil to be sure. But kids are flexible, and they pretty much grow up thinking (until they get to jr high/high school) that they way their family lives is pretty normal.  I remember when the older one came home from school one day and said:
"Hey dad, remember that Arlo guy I went to breakfast with a few years ago?
"Sure, why?"
"Well, is he the Arlo Guthrie whose dad was Woody Guthrie and wrote This Land is Your Land?  The same Arlo Guthrie who performed at Woodstock?"
"Yeah, that's Arlo alright."
"But he's really famous, how did I wind up going to breakfast with him?"
"As I recall he was really hungry, Mom was busy and I had class, so we sent you with him because you knew the way."
"But he's really famous."
"Yeah, but don't hold it against him, he's still the same guy you went to breakfast with, don't trip on it too much."

It was interesting when it began to dawn on them that their life was a little bit different, but not too much.

congrats on all that 2010 will bring you.  Exciting isn't it. 

Though Tekla nailed it about children and time mainagement.  But I suspect you'll do just fine.

Enjoy the joy the year brings

Beni