My brother (he's 22) and I are both staying at my moms house right now, which maybe happens a total of 2 weeks out of a year.  Over the past week or so, there have been several occasions where he has been walking around the house shirt less or just wearing a towel. And everytime I catch myself staring at his chest (particularly the hair on his chest) and feeling extremely awkward.

Any one else done this? I can't look at him without thinking "thats what I should look like". I really need to stop checking out my little (bigger) brother.

I think it's completely natural for us to do things like this. I mean, we're looking at these bio guys with pure envy. Sometimes this envy can take a strange turn, but it is none the less envy. They have what we want and we want what they have. So even though he is your brother, it's not like you're checking him out sexually. 

yeah, I realize its totally natural. I think the jealousy with him is way worse than with other guys because he is my brother, and genetically the closest person to me out of anyone.  Its like I Look at him and its a little like a constant reminder of what I could have looked like if I was born bio male, or a glimpse of what I might look like on T. 

Oh well, another week or so and he'll be back at college.

Unfortunately i have no relatives nearby that i can look at.    Add in the fact i'm adopted and i can't compare to anyone on either side of the family, either. 

It would only be "weird" if it where sexual ogling, and even then - to each their own. I know a few people that had crushes on their relatives at some point. I don't feel bad about staring at my mom's side of the family when we go up to visit in summertime, or at my cousin on my dad's side. I also stare a lot at other people in the summer, envious that they can go shirtless and daydreaming about when I can do that.

Just looking - no touching. Doesn't hurt a thing. 

one huge reason I'm glad I only have a sister....
I'm pretty sure if I had a brother I'd hate him for it.

My younger brother by 5 years is taller than me.  He has a deep voice, a rather muscular build, and makes me incredibly angry.  I know how you feel.

Quote from: GnomeKid on January 04, 2010, 01:43:16 PM
one huge reason I'm glad I only have a sister....
I'm pretty sure if I had a brother I'd hate him for it.

Haha I was about to post the same thing.  While I desperately wished for a brother when I was little, it would've ended up tortuous.

I used to throw things at my brother when we were little.  I'm pretty sure I resented him from the very beginning. 

I don't have this kind of problem with my brother. For the most part we look alike anyhow and always have, the only difference is that he is taller and built larger than I am. We were definitely never those siblings who could have passed as just friends, cousins or anything like that. I am the perfect female replication of him, seriously, it is like being a mini-me.

However my brother is very supportive of me and that probably makes a lot of difference as well. He never teases me or stuff like that (at least not about my gender) and he is very big on making his children call me Seth, use male pronouns and call me their uncle. We are the only two children though and have always been very close, despite a 4 year age difference and a gender difference growing up. He actually always knew I thought I was a boy. He used to walk around when we were kids singing this song he made up about his sister really being his brother. I'm lucky, if he wasn't so cool about it I think I would have some of the same issues. Plus boobs or no boobs I still look better without my shirt on than he does... he's been growing the "I'm a married man now" gut

Quote from: FolkFanatic on January 04, 2010, 12:29:05 PM
It would only be "weird" if it where sexual ogling, and even then - to each their own.

I had a bit of this. I was just starting puberty and was, you know, developing. It was kinda horrible. Anyway, my brother was lounging around in shorts and nothing else. I envied him his lean, six-foot body. But I found him sexy, too.

I never went beyond looking, but I'd always sought out connections with older boys, so seeing him like that was exciting if a little disturbing. But then, I'd always considered myself something of a freak, and I had a lot of weird stuff going on inside my head. It was just one more freaky thing among many.

Quote from: Cowboi on January 04, 2010, 03:46:50 PM
I don't have this kind of problem with my brother. For the most part we look alike anyhow and always have, the only difference is that he is taller and built larger than I am. We were definitely never those siblings who could have passed as just friends, cousins or anything like that. I am the perfect female replication of him, seriously, it is like being a mini-me.

My brother and I used to look more a like.  About 4 years ago, we were visiting our mom in the hospital, and convinced a nurse that we were twins. It worked when we were 18 and 21, but we look more different now at 22 and 25. 

No, I haven't actually done that before with one of my family members...
(Then again, must of the guys in my family are 60+)
I have been really jealous of other guy's bodies, though.
But usually it's height.
I'm vertically challenged..and not happy about it at all.

But comparing yourself to your brother's body..totally normal.
As long as you're not checking your brother out in a totally different way (You know...in a um..sexual way), it's not really weird at all.

There are some fairly substantial populations where the basic feeling is that you should never marry a virgin, because if they weren't good enough for their family, they ain't gonna be good enough for ours.

Glad I'm an only child.

Quote from: tekla on January 04, 2010, 10:29:56 PM
There are some fairly substantial populations where the basic feeling is that you should never marry a virgin, because if they weren't good enough for their family, they ain't gonna be good enough for ours.

Incest is a game the whole family can play.  And my guess is that if people were really honest we'd find that the level of sex play between siblings is very, very high. And between relatives in a large family situation its common enough that we invented the phrase 'kissin' cousins' to cover it.

Quote from: tekla on January 04, 2010, 11:03:34 PM
Incest is a game the whole family can play.  And my guess is that if people were really honest we'd find that the level of sex play between siblings is very, very high. And between relatives in a large family situation its common enough that we invented the phrase 'kissin' cousins' to cover it.

OMG. This made me laugh so hard because it made me think of my cousin. When I was about 13 my grandmother passed away and we stayed with family for a few nights before the funeral since we lived out of town. My cousin and I are only a few months apart in age and were both girls, we had a lot in common and got along very well. I chose to tell her that night that I was a lesbian (I did not yet know anything about transsexuals and did not identify as one). Almost right afterward she said she had to get some water and left the room. After about 10 minutes her mother came back with her and her younger brother and said that the younger brother was having trouble sleeping and wanted to camp on the floor and hang out with us.

I found out a few weeks later that she had told her mother I was hitting on her. It turned into a very interesting family fight. Her brother was sent into the room to act as a buffer to keep me from flirting with her or trying anything apparently.

I am now 25 years old, my cousin and I just began talking last week for the first time since this all happened. We still get along very well. And no, I was totally not hitting on her and never would.

I never envied my sister's body, or her wardrobe, (she had Sears and Roebucks taste in clothing, yucck) but I sure did envy the absolute and total lack of any expectations or responsibilities put upon her.  If I got a "B+" my mom would act like I was out setting dogs and kitty-cats on fire in the neighborhood and spear fishing for babies in baptismal fonts, if she got a "C" it was a cause for celebration as if she had discovered the New World.  And on top of the academic expectations, I had a list of 'chores' - most of which were total suck, including have to clean out the stable where she kept her horse - while she spent her time laying on the couch trying to wipe out the world's supply of Ho-Hos and trying to become the poster child for Eskimo Pie addiction. 

But I also realize that the entire 'she's a girl' deal kept her on that couch and because I was a boy, I was pretty much allowed to do whatever in hell I felt like (and I did) so long as I kept my grades up (and had the chores done).  My mom had trouble letting her go to the mall with her friends, but when my idiot buddies thought that between our junior and senior year in high school, that we ought to drive to Fairbanks, Alaska on our motorcycles so we could go hiking in Danali (yeah, it's 4K+ round trip, my ass still hurts - and yes, we were dumb all over) it was like "well have fun boys and dress warm,"

Quote from: No-Name on January 04, 2010, 11:36:37 AMI think it's completely natural for us to do things like this. I mean, we're looking at these bio guys with pure envy. Sometimes this envy can take a strange turn, but it is none the less envy. They have what we want and we want what they have. ...it's not like you're checking him out sexually.

This.