I don't mean for this to sound ignorant... the answer seems obvious, but not for me, as I am struggling with my own identity.

I'm particularly curious whether or not masculine women enjoy any aspects of their female identity? I've been thinking about this a lot; when I am in my cloud of denial I try to tell myself that I am simply a masculine woman. I was helplessly born into this body and that's just the way it is. I believe that I should embrace my masculine side as well as my feminine side.
However... As I think about how I feel within, I realize that no part of me enjoys being a female. The few parts of me that ARE female (breasts, genitalia, my high voice) almost plague me. Thus, I'm trying to be a lot more open to my possible trans identity.

There is just so much turmoil within. I'm afraid of going through hormone therapy, because when I truly think about it... I don't want to be a MAN right now. I want to be a boy. I don't want a full beard and an angry inch. But I do want to be the flat-chested, handsome boy I have always felt that I am... And maybe when I'm ready to be a man I can take T... but is that a cop-out? And furthermore, what does it actually mean to embrace a trans identity?


I realize this post poses a lot of questions, I just have it all pent up in my head and would benefit from some input. Thanks.

Hi. I'm 37 and just starting this journey. Like you I don't want to be a man- I want to be an 18 year old good looking lad but i think thats just wishful thinking and wanting the teenage years i should have had. Wanting to be flat chested, the joy of being able to take my shirt off in public, I can't wait. Guess for me the difference between being a masculine female and a man is all the extra bits. Deep in my heart i want to marry, but as a man. I want to grow old and sit my grand children on my knee, but again when i see myself i see myself as a man, never as a woman. never,ever when i imagine things do i see myself as a female. Thats the place I'm coming from now

There's definitely a difference between masculine and male (and feminine and female).  If there weren't, well, I wouldn't even be transsexual.  Female gender stereotypes are actually more applicable to me than male ones.  But obviously there's more than just social norms at play here, since I reject the role that appears to fit me more closely.

I don't want to be a man either. How can I be a man until I've been a boy? Nobody, except the occasional greek god, can just spring out of nowhere as a fully grown and bearded man.

Think of hormones like accelerated puberty. You're not going to just turn into a man overnight, it takes several years for T's effects to finish doing their thing.

As for masculine woman... a woman is a woman - she can be a tomboy, or a drag king, or a butch lesbian; but she still wakes up feeling like a woman. About as content with her anatomy as any woman can be.

I'd say a masculine woman still identifies as a woman and enjoys (for the most part) being a woman. I can't speak for all transmen, but for me since I can remember I always felt I was male. I was supposed to be born a male yet had a female body- like there was this giant mistake. Despite that (and what others told me) I still thought and saw my inner self as a male.

Of course over time society, people and family can make you subdue your male side- even deny it. "Act like a lady." 'Ladies don't do that." These comments could go on forever.

I think if you're unsure don't rush anything. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. After some thought and deep soul searching (with lots of conflict) the truth will come to you.

I think what I am most curious about, and currently trying to explore is the broad spectrum of sexuality and the places on the spectrum in which we all fit.

I currently identify as a trans-guy. I would like to have chest reconstruction surgery, but am not seeking hormone therapy or bottom surgery. Though I don't feel "female" I have grown accustomed to, and actually enjoy having sex with my female genitalia. I have sex like a guy, I orgasm like a guy, but without the dick...

I don't want to ask the question "Does that make me trans?" because it seems so stupid. But can "trans" be anything you want it to be? Is there some kind of definitive "trans" characteristics? And is the truth just a reconciliation of the brain's comfort with a certain sexuality and society's social norms?

Well, personally I think the difference between being a masculine woman and being a transman is gender dysphoria.  Not everyone experiences this from an early age, I have only had really bad gender dysphoria for less than a year.  But there was something uncomfortable and distressing for some time before that, just wasn't sure what it is. 

Trans identity is very varied.  You can be a transman without medically transitioning.  You can be genderqueer or androgyne, all under the big 'transgender umbrella' as people call it.  As is trans sexuality.  It took me a long time to figure out that I wasn't just a woman with a real kink for male/male but actually a gay transman.  That is a big deal for me, and as much as people say gender identity and sexual identity aren't linked for me they are big-time.  Because without sexuality I might never have made the connection that I was trans!

I don't want to be a hairy biker bald guy with a whopping great beard either by the way.     I think most of us just want to be ourselves, but with a male body!  T does take a while. 

The way I do it is look into my future.  In 10 years, 20 years do I want to be a middle-aged woman.  The future looks very bleak for me when I think of it like that and a lot more comforting if I think 'no I will have transitioned by then.' 

It's a big decision but its your decision and you don't have to hurry to make it. 

What has been said here is very vital to finding your place in the world... Not wanting to grow old in your assigned sex and gender role, not wanting to be a mother but wanting to be a father... A brother, but not a sister... I've had these feelings all my life.  I become confused when I think about my childhood behaviors; whether I acted like a little boy or a little girl.  But I see clearly when I realize that I have never been a daughter.  I have always been a son.