My ex-partner's family had known me by my birth name for nearly seven years when I changed it. It took more than seven years for them to use my new name consistently, but (as I said), I didn't see them that often, so they didn't have much chance to practice. And I wasn't out to them as trans, either, so perhaps they didn't fully understand (to this day, I don't think they know). But I think I was extraordinarily patient with them, mainly because they were my partner's family, not mine. (If it had been my family, I would have simply cut them off.)

Of course, I'm much less forgiving about such things now, but I won't be in that situation again anyway. If I have to deal with the parents of a new significant other, I'll be introduced as "he" and "true name." I'll just be who I am.

I honestly don't know how people stand such disrespect from their own families--their own parents, who supposedly love them. I could never do that.

Yes!
So one of my friends that knows of my birth name has been calling me by my preferred name. :]]]
My other friends still call me by my nickname, which is female, but at least they don't call me by my birth name.
They ask why do you want to be called that, I say because I rly don't like my birth name.
Whatevs, all the new ppl I meet won't have a problem with it.

The other day my mom's friend's grandson was calling me he and saying his, she thought I was offended but I just smiled. They kept trying to tell him to say her and she and to use my birth name. I kinda got mad, but its not their fault they don't know. God I hate that name, I can't wait to legally change it. It seems my family is going back to using it more often too, ugh. I rly would like to tell them, but I know they'd just think im crazy. Sigh...

I've been passing more, but the thing that stops me is my height and well of course not binding. My height is what makes ppl think im so young, and it rly sucks. It brings me down cuz I wish I was taller. Id pass way better for my age.
The other day I was in a restaurant and I could tell this whole family was staring at me trying to figure me out, it was funny cuz they thought I wasn't paying attention.

Quote from: ccc on January 04, 2010, 11:19:20 AM
I've been passing more, but the thing that stops me is my height and well of course not binding. My height is what makes ppl think im so young, and it rly sucks. It brings me down cuz I wish I was taller. Id pass way better for my age.

This is my problem as well. Until I started T and got some facial hair I had a horrible time with the age perception. I didn't get facial hair till I was 23, this caused me to still get carded to even buy lighters! Seriously, do you know how stupid it feels to get carded to buy a freaking lighter when you are old enough to drink? In the long run though I still look younger than I am, and honestly I don't have much to complain about with it, I hope it just means that I will age well haha. The height thing will always be an issue for me though, I actually told my brother that he can't be my best man because on my wedding day I refuse to stand up there and look really short and small. He understood, but he did get a good laugh out of it.

As far as the changing name thing goes, it will take a lot of time, especially for people who knew you before and have known you by your birth name or even a nickname for a long time. The people who have known you the longest will take the longest to get used to it and change their behavior. Also if you have not been straight forward about why you want to do this it is harder for them to take you seriously. It's easier to assume the person will grow out of it or just get over it if they don't realize that this is a permanent thing with a very valid reason behind it.

Wait until you actually start HRT and look male, that makes it way more interesting. Family holidays are a ton of fun, half the people call me Seth and he, the other half call me she and by my birth name. On top of that the ones who refer to me as female just act like there has been no change. As if it's just normal for a girl to grow facial hair, have a flat chest and be engaged to a MTF haha. At least when they met Bianca she had already began presenting as female and started HRT, I'm sure some of my family members haven't even caught on to the fact that she is trans as well. Although my grandmother apparently cannot pronounce Bianca....

Well the only reason I need T is for fat distribution/muscle and my voice. Other than that im naturally a hairy guy, and I have masculine features. Like broad shoulders, a defined jawline, and I can grow hair like crazy.
Age perception for me, is my voice, my height, and the baby fat I have that makes my face rounder.
I have facial hair, hahaha everyone notices. When I used to get my eyebrows waxed they'd always ask if I wanted my lip done. Id be like no thanks haha you crazy. :p
Ahh, I don't get carded much though. Maybe its because I don't do anything that asks for age. Lol like buy ciggs and what not.
Im pretty sure ill always look younger than my age, even if I go on T.
Lol I know ill age well, ppl think im a teen. Sometimes its a compliment cause I don't want to grow up, but sometimes I want to look older or my age. :/

I know, it rly bugs me. I hate being so short. But I've seen bioguys around my height. Yes, there are few but there are some. Plus im latino so that's my excuse lol.

Man I couldn't do that for my wedding, cause then nobody will be up there. :0 lol!

I know, I understand. Ppl take time to get used to change, and some ppl won't ever accept it. But im glad some frens are calling my by it!

I know... I've been thinking about coming out to them, and I've been dropping so many hints. But idk if they get it, cuz they mess around about the whole tg thing. Ftm and mtf, so I don't think they take me seriously. Lol I don't care I've basically told them all. Once they see me bind, and feel my package then maybe they'll finally get it. Cuz I haven't been packing lately and they always grab me there, but its been empty.
Im just not ready to come out to my family, which is why I rly haven't. I know I should be honest, but hey its a start for me to change my name.
But you're right, its true, ppl will probably assume its just a temp thing. But they know I hate my birthname, I never go by it. So idk.

Btw I think its awesome that your with a MTF! You guys probably have a lot in common with the whole tg thing going on, I bet you have a strong bond!

I'm of the opinion that real friends would be willing to do that much for you. Sure, it takes some effort, but they'll put that bit of effort into it if they value their friendship with you and care about your feelings.

Actually a hella lot of your real friends will give you some sort of nickname, highly embarrassing is preferable. I work closely with an FtM who went to great lengths to find just the right male name, only to drop a $14K light on one of his first big shows.  Don't matter what chosen name is/was, he's going to be 'Crash' for as long as he's in this union.

Quote from: ccc on January 08, 2010, 03:30:18 PM
Well the only reason I need T is for fat distribution/muscle and my voice. Other than that im naturally a hairy guy, and I have masculine features. Like broad shoulders, a defined jawline, and I can grow hair like crazy.

My voice was my biggest issue as well. I mean I am short, I don't have much of a fat distribution problem because I am thin and small built to begin with. I found a way to wear my clothes many many years ago that covers my hips and I was blessed with a naturally small chest that is also easy to cover and hide for the most part. I also am on the hairy side, I always got teased for having darker arm hair and leg hair when I was still living as a girl. Not to mention for the hair on my upper lip! It was always funny to me how the things that they made fun of were the things I enjoyed the most.

Quote from: ccc on January 08, 2010, 03:30:18 PM
I know, it rly bugs me. I hate being so short. But I've seen bioguys around my height. Yes, there are few but there are some. Plus im latino so that's my excuse lol.

On the note of short men, I went out shopping the other day... the sales man who helped me was so freaking short! I mean SHORT. I myself am only about 5'5 or 5'6, I was easily a head taller than this guy. The only thing that would have ever made me curious if he is actually male or not though is his height, and I only centered in on that fact because I myself am trans and have that problem. I doubt anyone else thinks anything about his gender based on his height, that realization was kind of nice to come to yesterday. It makes me understand that most people probably don't think twice about my height.

Quote from: ccc on January 08, 2010, 03:30:18 PM
Btw I think its awesome that your with a MTF! You guys probably have a lot in common with the whole tg thing going on, I bet you have a strong bond!

We really do have a strong bond. My family loves her, and actually my fathers reason is that he finally sees me with someone who can actually understand and appreciate me. Things like that are his biggest concerns for me, I mean hell I was the guys only daughter I guess I can allow him some fatherly concern

I personally never thought I'd end up with another trans person. I was with a couple other FTM people when I was younger, but I didn't want to be with a man, so I gave up on that. For someone who is trans myself, I knew a lot of trans people but not many MTFs, in real life anyhow. Bianca is one of the first that I have ever had any kind of close relationship or friendship with, I think I had two MTF friends prior to having met her, and neither were people I was all that close to. Plus we never discussed being trans, it was just a given that we all were and it never came up. Bianca blew me away for many reasons, but her knowledge about transsexualism is astounding. She knows about both sides of it and she knows all about the issues, everything from breaking news to medical concerns, books and studies, this girl has it down. It was a big turning point for me, she definitely allowed me to embrace that I am a transman, not just a man. I did the opposite for her though, I made her feel like a woman instead of a transwoman, which was something she had never been open to or experienced. So in the long run, it has all been very interesting and fulfilling. And hopefully, there is more to come, we definitely have plenty of years to fill

I found it funny at xmas when my mum used my birth name for the first few presents then there were a few that had my birth name crossed out and my new name on ..then a few more with just my new name. I laughed at it.. it's a start and a lot more than I was expecting!! But saying that verbally I still get my birth name by my family and old friends which is unisex when shortened but still.
I do have a question for those very much post-op how long did it take for you to be called your new name by your fam & old friends?

Yes, some nicknames do stick forever. And the cool thing about mine, is its in spanish. So all I have to do is tell ppl to say it with and O at the end instead of an A. Some friends have caught on, but I haven't rly said much about it. I should probably bring it up...

i've had 3 friends call me noah which is great, one refuses to use any name for me which is...odd but ok, most use my birthname and then correct themselves and one refuses point blank to call me noah.
And the worst bit is is i thought of her as my sister and it's bloody heartbreaking to have her refuse to accept this
Luckily i don't live anywhere near that town anymore and all my old friends think of me entirely as male, one slips up quite a lot but he always apologises.

When I was in high school there was a girl who refused to call me Seth, she said it wasn't my real name so she wouldn't do it. We both were more than aware that the real issue was that I was trans but she would never admit it. I finally told her I was going to call her Jack. When she asked why I made a reason up, I said it was due to the economic standing of Great Britain (mind you this was a on the spot attempt at making some ridiculous...and it definitely paid off). When she told me that it made no sense and was stupid I just looked at her and said, "Exactly."

To this day I call her Jack, it's been about 10 years. Apparently she is an actress now and is going to be in some kind of upcoming movie...I want to spill the nickname to the gossip columns!

ooerr whats her name? maybe we could all star to refer to her as jack haha