I can't be stealth because I transitioned in a small town, where my name is in the papers at least once a week. That said, nobody made a big deal of it, and now that it's been 5 years, nobody seems to remember the old me. I see myself as just a guy, and while I know many people are aware that I wasn't always that way, they treat me as just a guy.

I don't think I ever embraced "trans identity". I found it most embarrassing during that awkward in between stage, and was just happy to be through it when I was.

Dennis

I think it has a lot to do with how many identities you have outside of being trans.  I think that for some people it's the only thing they have to hold on to, or the one thing they don't.  For people who have it as part of a mix it's something they are, but not the sum total of what they are, nor the totality of who they are.

Quote from: tekla on January 08, 2010, 01:25:34 PM
I think it has a lot to do with how many identities you have outside of being trans.  I think that for some people it's the only thing they have to hold on to, or the one thing they don't.  For people who have it as part of a mix it's something they are, but not the sum total of what they are, nor the totality of who they are.

Yeah, yeah, I'll agree with Kat, just like everybody always does (I feel like a post whore today).  I think if apart from being transsexual I was a "regular guy," I'd be very boring feeling after transitioning.  But I have lots of other interesting things going on.

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Post Merge: January 08, 2010, 01:30:43 PM

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Well, that post had little to no substance.  It's time for me to get off the internet.

I'll second that agreement with Kat. There are too many other parts of me to identify as any one of them.

Maybe dog-owner and cat-slave

Dennis

cat-slave

Yeah I hear having a pussy around the house can do that to a guy.

For me, being transgendered is only lasts until I'm living as a full-time male (after my eventual top-surgery).
After that I will consider myself "transitioned".
But I probably won't identify as "transgendered" after people start thinking of me as (and I look like) the male that I am.
The exceptions being if/when I can help another person questioning their gender identity/transitioning.

For me, I just ultimately want to be seen as an effeminate GUY. I've been through it all in my head from "I can't be trans because I'm too feminine" to "I'll never be seen as the guy I should have been, because I have no desire to be super masculine"

BUT, while it would be awesome to be seen as 'just another guy', I know that I'm not 'just another guy'. It's taken me awhile to realize this, but I don't care nearly as much about being seen as "male" as I do about being seen as MYSELF!

So if I'm seen as trans for the rest of my life, so be it, I'm not going to go around advertising it, so complete strangers can see me as whatever they want. My friends and family, they'll know my history, everything I've done in my life, whether it's something I'm proud of or not, it's all part of ME. The whole reason I'm embracing this transition stuff is so that I don't have to be something I'm not, and like it or hate it, my past is part of me.

Colourmyworld, you have pretty much spelled out exactly how I feel too. 

I would like complete strangers to see me as male.  But amongst friends, lovers and family being seen as'trans' isn't the end of the world.  I quite like the 'gay transman' label as well because due to a lack of a certain piece of anatomy, I'll never be straightforward 'gay man.'

I waffle back and forth on the subject.  But then, I've only recently started passing with any regularity.  I imagine that whatever I may feel now, I'll probably feel quite differently in a year, or two, or five, when I've gotten used to living as 100% male.

Some places I just want to be seen as male - in fact, some places I am just seen as male. This includes with some people at work (those who have only known me since transition anyway), and when I go out on the bear scene - I don't feel the need to tell the guys there that I'm a trans man. I'm sure some do know, as I've known some for many years, but I don't think they're the kind of guys who go round telling everyone.

On the other hand, I'm pretty active in the trans community here - I'm one of the organisers of the local group for trans men, I run the local trans swimming session, and I'm on the board of another trans organisation - so I have a certain level of visibility from that. I feel that it's important for those who are just discovering their trans identity, or questioning their gender identity in any way, to be able to meet and talk to those of us who are further down the line, and I also feel it's important to share knowledge and advice with those who have less experience. It's therefore very unlikely that I'll ever leave the trans community behind entirely.

I'm not trans, I'm a guy with a vagina 

in the past I identified as trans but not anymore.  I'm a dude.  my gf says "you arent trans. you're a man with a trans past. there's a big difference between identifyin as trans & bein a man with a trans past"  she's right.  Everybody knows me as a dude. I'm legally a dude. I'm a dude. yep I have a trans past. I dont deny it. I'm not ashamed of it. If somebody asks I tell 'em. no biggie but that's it.  trans is somethin I'm beginnin 2 forget b/c it aint part of my life anymore.

Quote from: Chris on January 13, 2010, 12:08:18 AMmy gf says "you arent trans. you're a man with a trans past. there's a big difference between identifyin as trans & bein a man with a trans past"

That's a good way of thinking about it. I just don't know if my trans identity will just ever be a part of my past or not. Right now, though, it's a big part of who I am. If or after I go on T, get top surgery, or any other steps towards transition, though? Only time can tell.

Excellent topic! Thank you everyone for sharing. I  do not embrace the fact that I am trans. I even have a tough time checking in or posting here.  I enjoy just living as a male. I very much appreciate all the information here and learn a lot. This has been a safe place to get experienced and very helpful information to help on this journey. I have never really had to transition though. From a very young age people perceived me as male so I haven't had half the challenges I hear about here. Only my family and wife know. I have a hard enough time understanding this condition that I would rather not put that on anybody else trying to get to know me, so I'd rather them not know anything about it.

Quote from: Hanlet on January 12, 2010, 01:09:23 PM
I'm not trans, I'm a guy with a vagina 

I love it! Me too. 

Quote from: Hanlet on January 12, 2010, 01:09:23 PM
I'm not trans, I'm a guy with a vagina 

"I know what you're thinking. Here comes Old Greg; he's a scaly man fish. You don't know me. You don't know what I got. I got somethin' to show ya. You know what that is? That's Old Greg's vagina. I've got a mangina! I'M OLD GREEEEEGGGGG!"

Dang it!! now i'm going to spend the rest of the day talking about my downstairs mix up and yelling that i'm old greg.  Hahahahaha!