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Five misconceptions about Introverts...

Started by Muffin, January 11, 2010, 09:12:00 PM

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gennee

Great post. I'm an introvert and I enjoy being who I am.

Gennee
Be who you are.
Make a difference by being a difference.   :)

Blog: www.difecta.blogspot.com
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Teknoir

The way I see it, introverts are those who "recharge" by spending time alone, and extraverts are those who "recharge" by spending time with others.

Anything more is the influence of other personality factors coming into play.

Although I agree with the majority of the piece, I believe it attributes too many preferences to introversion alone.

A personality is like a piece of music, and the introversion / extraversion thing is just comparing if the bass is going "boom boom boom" or "bam bam bam". There are so many other layers and interactions along side that that give a piece shape, texture, direction and feel.

Or it's like taking a DNS root server and calling it the internet. It's an important component of an important component, but it's by no means the complete system.

Also -  I have noticed a bit of eliteism around introverts in general. There's this whole overtone of "oh, we're smarter because we follow solitary constructive persuits" type thinking. Not to mention the "nobody understands us" complex. Be careful of that, it's not healthy.

Like everybody else interested in this thread, I too am an introvert (Myers-Briggs INTP if you believe in that stuff).
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tekla

It would seem to me at least that a healthy personality would have elements of both.  Human's are a social animal, and the ability to be social is pretty much a prerequisite for any sort of success.  You are going to have to deal with people on some level, and part of the time its going to be 'small talk' (Hey, how 'bout them Niners?). 

I know people who 'don't do small talk' and so any conversation with them gets way too deep and way too personal in a hurry, and though deep and personal are nice, if not necessary, when it's all the time it's just relentless.

And, I think that people ought to, and should be able to be solitary also.  There is a need to think, contemplate, and clear out your head that just can't be done in a social setting.  So a mountain bike ride, a walk in the woods or on the beach just spending some quality time with yourself should not be a scary or uncomfortable situation either.  You should not need other people to constantly reinforce and amuse you.  Sometimes you just have to amuse yourself.

So, where there are people on the extreme end of the scale in both directions (as there always will be in any scale) I think the 'healthy' ones are in that big huge dollop in the center who have elements of both, without allowing either to rule their lives. 
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Muffin

Quote from: Teknoir on January 16, 2010, 04:39:22 AM
Although I agree with the majority of the piece, I believe it attributes too many preferences to introversion alone.
The writing IS about introverts, not extroverts! There is no deliberate separation??

Quote from: Teknoir on January 16, 2010, 04:39:22 AM
Also -  I have noticed a bit of eliteism around introverts in general. There's this whole overtone of "oh, we're smarter because we follow solitary constructive persuits" type thinking. Not to mention the "nobody understands us" complex. Be careful of that, it's not healthy.

"This characteristic probably contributes to another misconception that extroverts have of introverts - the misconception that all introverts are arrogant.
Why?
Because extroverts notice that introverts don't talk that much with other people. Therefore, extroverts assume that introverts think they're too good to talk to others, hence arrogant and that's hardly the case.
It's just a matter of preference.
Extroverts thrive on small talk.
Introverts abhor it.
There's nothing wrong with either choice, it's just a matter of preference."


A possible.. slight connection???????
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tekla


Extroverts thrive on small talk.
Introverts abhor it.


I think that's the two extreme ends deal again.  I don't think the more social people I know 'thrive' on it, its just part of the warp & weft of their life.  There is a time and place for it.  Just like there is a time and place for things to be taken in a more serious manner, and more seriousness topics to be undertaken.  Such extremes on a constant basis are not the basic nature of humanity, as Robert A. Heinlein's character, Lazarus Long wisely informs us:

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Teknoir

Quote from: Muffin on January 16, 2010, 09:39:33 AM
The writing IS about introverts, not extroverts! There is no deliberate separation??

I'm not talking introversion vs extraversion there. I'm talking about factors other than where someone falls on the introversion / extraversion scale playing a larger role in somebodies personality than this article would lead them to believe.

In short - I am expressing my opinion that the article is over simplified. Meh.

Quote from: Muffin on January 16, 2010, 09:39:33 AM
"This characteristic probably contributes to another misconception that extroverts have of introverts - the misconception that all introverts are arrogant.
Why?
Because extroverts notice that introverts don't talk that much with other people. Therefore, extroverts assume that introverts think they're too good to talk to others, hence arrogant and that's hardly the case.
It's just a matter of preference.
Extroverts thrive on small talk.
Introverts abhor it.
There's nothing wrong with either choice, it's just a matter of preference."


A possible.. slight connection???????

No, it's different to that. Fitting the article's definition of "introvert" myself, I understand where that is coming from.

In hindsight, I was being over general, and too constricted in by own vantage point.

I've dealt with too many "hardcore nerd" types - and all too often they fall into the elitism trap. I've seen people having their skills disregarded because they have essentially what amounts to basic tact and the ability to use deoderant.

It's rife in the circles I move in (not quite to that severity, of course), but on reflection - probably not as much elsewhere.

Still, it's important not to let stereotypes in articles like this limit or otherwise shape you. Just because you're an "introvert" doesn't mean you have to find social tasks unpleasent, you have to be bad at certain things, or you have to live on the extreme. It also doesn't mean you're better at a particular solitary task than an extravert by default.
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Muffin

I'd say like most things like this they're not meant to pigeon hole people or to really be taken as the be-all-end-all. Like anything it could of been done better but for what it is I think it's a good read hence why I shared it. Can't please everyone I guess :S
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Teknoir

Quote from: Muffin on January 16, 2010, 09:08:42 PM
I'd say like most things like this they're not meant to pigeon hole people or to really be taken as the be-all-end-all. Like anything it could of been done better but for what it is I think it's a good read hence why I shared it. Can't please everyone I guess :S

Awww... I've been overly harsh from being in debate mode too long. My bad.... I'm seeing debate topics where there are only blog style editorials   :P

Back to the scheduled thread! :)

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tekla

Shame, shame on you for thinking that when people compare themselves favorably to Albert Einstein, Issac Newton, Charles Darwin, Julia Roberts, Steven Spielberg, Christian Bale, Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods that they might be trying to claim they are something better.  Who would have guessed?
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Muffin

You could also look at it as a way to help some introverts to feel better about themselves and be more social if that is what they are wishing to do, life is not all doom and gloom. No need to focus on the negatives so much. I sure could do with less of it if it's all the same.

P.s. and you say people, it's only written by one person, one persons POV. You really are a jerk tekla you seriously need to get over yourself.
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Silver

Quote from: Muffin on January 17, 2010, 12:53:56 AM
You could also look at it as a way to help some introverts to feel better about themselves and be more social if that is what they are wishing to do, life is not all doom and gloom. No need to focus on the negatives so much. I sure could do with less of it if it's all the same.

P.s. and you say people, it's only written by one person, one persons POV. You really are a jerk tekla you seriously need to get over yourself.

If I understand correctly, introverts like being alone. Not doom and gloom, right?
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Teknoir

And there I was, trying to keep the peace :laugh:

*Shrug* Ah well...  If you're gonna rock the boat, don't be surprised when someone falls in...

That said, in my opinion there's no reason to start personal name calling, OP. Differences in opinion aren't intended to be a personal affront, just offered for the sake of interest and discussion. Nothing is being aimed at you personally.

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Muffin

Quote from: SilverFang on January 17, 2010, 05:34:30 AM
If I understand correctly, introverts like being alone. Not doom and gloom, right?

Not sure like is the best word maybe 'benefit from' lol, I'm personally kinda jealous of those that can be in big crowds and have a barrel of laughs like it's nothing :P


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tekla

It just might be that many of those people, heck probably all of them from time to time, just might be faking it - or at least faking it till they be making it?

FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Muffin

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Constance

When I first encountered the words "extrovert" and "introvert," I was a bit confused. For the most part, I felt that I exhibited the traits of an introvert. But, there were some classic extrovert traits that I felt I had, too. So, I wondered if I was an introverted extrovert or an extroverted introvert.

For the most part, I consider myself to be introverted. But, sometimes I wonder if I'm really just a shy extrovert.

The whole thing seems to have another artificial binary to it, just like with gender.