But I dont want to go through any surgical changes. Cause even if I do, I will still never be able to do eeeeeeeeeeeverything a boy can. I wanna be 100% the real thing. I just wanna wake up one day as one

don't we all man, but we do what we can

 There's no reason to deny yourself all the trappings of manhood just because you can't be the epitome of a perfect male.  If you were hungry, and someone offered you a snack, it wouldn't make any sense to turn down that snack because you would prefer a full meal.  I wish I could wake up as a guy too, but hey, if it's as tough as it is for us to get to a point where we can just feel like the right gender, then that takes a lot more intellectual and emotional cajones that most genetic males have. You may lack the ability to procreate, but other than that, you'll be able to do pretty much everything any other guy can, if not more and better.  I hope you'll reconsider!

we wish we could, of course. but at least we know we're not alone.

i comfort myself sometimes by thinking that one day, when i die, i'll go to heaven and in the heaven i imagine.. we all get to be what we are supposed to be. with no surgeries or scars; just beautiful men and women. as it is.. we do what we can, and if i do say so myself, there are some mighty handsome men and some very lovely ladies on these boards, no matter what our birth certificates say!

Sometimes 99% of something is better than 100% of nothing and I'd rather take that 99% than carry on the way i am

Personally, I'm thankful (Oh this seems to be turning into a thanksgiving speech) that I live in a time and a place that allows transition to be possible. If I was born say 50 or 100 years ago I'd most likely be trapped as female, likewise if I lived in a country that is unaccepting of transpeople presently. I'm not going to throw away the oppertunity to become as physically male as I can using what treatments are currently available, just because I won't end up with a fully functional dick or whatever.

Rant over

Quote from: Greg on January 17, 2010, 05:42:31 PM
Personally, I'm thankful (Oh this seems to be turning into a thanksgiving speech) that I live in a time and a place that allows transition to be possible. If I was born say 50 or 100 years ago I'd most likely be trapped as female, likewise if I lived in a country that is unaccepting of transpeople presently. I'm not going to throw away the oppertunity to become as physically male as I can using what treatments are currently available, just because I won't end up with a fully functional dick or whatever.

Rant over

What he said.  Transition is better than nothing at all. 

i  agree with pretty much everything al the other guys said, just remember due that it's not whats betwen your legs that makes you a man, its who you are inside and if you know that you are male and you know that in your heart and mind you're a man theres nothing anyone can do to take that away from you, it takes time but eventually you might realise that a penis is just an organ but so is your heart, and it's the latter thats the most important

I have always been a boy, now a man. Now I just look like one too.
Cheers,
Myles

Quote from: myles on January 17, 2010, 07:40:11 PM
I have always been a boy, now a man. Now I just look like one too.
Cheers,
Myles

AMEN!! But if you can imagine - I was a little boy raised with a girl's name and sometimes made to wear a dress!!
And I also think myself lucky to have to opportunity to transition medically... I'm not a man just yet    But I'm not going to limit myself because I won't be a biologically whole man - I am a man nonetheless.
There are bio guys out there who can't do what people consider ever guy should be able to do! There are guys suffering impotence, sterile guys – hell there's even guys who have small dicks or no dick at all! I'm one of THOSE guys!! I sound like a guy and I think like a guy - now I too get to look like one and evolve into the man I should have been by now. The fact I am different sets me apart - I am Joe Citizen – but upon closer inspection... Doesn't mean I don't blend in or I can't be all the man someone needs/wants me to be in any situation

Quote from: x-icecubes-x on January 17, 2010, 03:09:13 PM
But I dont want to go through any surgical changes. Cause even if I do, I will still never be able to do eeeeeeeeeeeverything a boy can. I wanna be 100% the real thing. I just wanna wake up one day as one

I feel same way, cept im considering top surgery.

Like even if I do fully transition, I still have my past. Life is different being raised as a boy, living life as a boy. Everyone has different standards, and rules, and life would be so different. I wish I could go back to my childhood and be raised as a boy, have my dad teach me things boys should know, have my mom show me how to treat my partner.
You know?...

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Post Merge: January 17, 2010, 10:04:10 PM

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Quote from: Noah on January 17, 2010, 06:40:34 PM
i  agree with pretty much everything al the other guys said, just remember due that it's not whats betwen your legs that makes you a man, its who you are inside and if you know that you are male and you know that in your heart and mind you're a man theres nothing anyone can do to take that away from you, it takes time but eventually you might realise that a penis is just an organ but so is your heart, and it's the latter thats the most important

Not to be rude or anything, but this is not how society sees it. Everyone says, I want a real penis. Its hard to try to be with someone when they want the real thing, and knowing that we'll never have it makes it all seem so pointless. Because that's what everyone puts first...
I know its all about yourself, what's on the inside, your personality, your confidence, and how you feel... but in the end, its not all about what you think, everyone elses thoughts factor in...
Just saying.

Quote from: ccc on January 17, 2010, 09:58:28 PM
I feel same way, cept im considering top surgery.

Like even if I do fully transition, I still have my past. Life is different being raised as a boy, living life as a boy. Everyone has different standards, and rules, and life would be so different. I wish I could go back to my childhood and be raised as a boy, have my dad teach me things boys should know, have my mom show me how to treat my partner.
You know?...
I know its all about yourself, what's on the inside, your personality, your confidence, and how you feel... but in the end, its not all about what you think, everyone elses thoughts factor in...
Just saying.

Just my opinion dude I mean no offence at all but...
As much as I would love to have been born male – if it meant going back in time and no longer being the guy I am today... I wouldn't do it. I would choose to be Trans every single time. Don't you think it would change everything about you if you were to have been socialized male instead of raised the way you were?
And my past will always be part of me but it's exactly that - past. It's not something I wear as a hat you know... I do get what you're saying though. But as for everyone else's thoughts – yeah it does suck but it's just people opinions! And I'm sure it's a news flash – but society has an opinion on EVERYTHING!
I asked a good friend (also a member of society ) what she would think if she met me as a guy, looking, sounding and behaving as a guy and then found out I didn't have a 'normal' penis. She said that it would be a shock yeah but as long as she had a good time and was satisfied – she wouldn't care! She said sex isn't everything in a relationship or being intimate, it's just an additive that makes it better! She also said it wouldn't stop her from dating me and would still see me as a guy. I also asked her if she would be pissed if I let her like/love me then told her or would she have preferred me tell her straight up? She said she wouldn't expect me to tell her straight up because it's not until you're in deep with someone you feel comfortable enough to tell them your intimate details. She said for a one night stand though – she wouldn't expect to know anything but a good, satisfying night. And that is a thing any Trans man can deliver as well as the next guy. Who's to say on a one night stand you don't just like the lights off and just want to be in and out?! Don't get me wrong I know not everyone thinks like this – I'm not looking through rose coloured glasses... And it's always going to be hard knowing I won't father a child or have sex at the moment in the traditional sense but there are bio guys facing that everyday too. There are sterile guys, guys with devastating injuries where they lost their dick or balls or both. Who's to say you're not one of those guys? I am.
It truly does come down to how you feel about yourself. Cliché I know. I hope I haven't pissed anyone off it's not my intention!

Yeah man, I get you.
Its cool.
Im just one of those guys that gets rly bugged about certain things like that.
Like nothing rly bothers me, but the fact that I can't father a child, I don't have a "real" fully functioning penis, and that I could never fully be a "real" guy... per say... you know?
Im not as bothered with my female body, like most guys are. I sort of accept it, cause I know I can't fully change it. Why mess with something that already works.. but then I just want to be a normal average guy.
Idk...

Most of the people on this forum would love to just wake up one day and be their target gender, but unfortunately it isn't that easy, so we all have to make the best of it! I've been round in circles trying to figure out what is going on with me, from "I'll do anything to be a boy" to "Well I can suck it up, I'd rather be an unhappy, yet certain with what's going on, chick than be a potentially still unhappy boy and not know what is/isn't going to happen and when" to "I'm not man enough, I won't be taken seriously, I'm going to be put in a mental institution, etc" to "maybe if I dress and act super manly I'll feel better" (didn't work at all, I was trying to be something even farther from what I feel is ME) finally to my breaking point, where I need to do something, ANYTHING, to feel closer to myself, I may not be 100% male, but anything is an improvement! While before I was scared and ashamed to tell anyone about this, but I've finally told a few people, and I'm going to be getting some help with it soon, so I'm very happy about that! I wish I would have spoke up and asked for help earlier, but I didn't so I'm not going to dwell on the past, but hold out hope for the future! I'm done making excuses for myself, I'm done trying to suck it up and get over it, now is the best time to take action!

Telling someone like a doctor or parent that you're having these feelings and want to talk it through and figure out what's going on, is always a good first step! Just because you're in therapy doesn't mean that once you do that there's no turning back, therapy is designed to help you figure out what you really want and how to go about it! If you end up going to therapy for awhile and then come to a conclusion that you don't want to transition at all, then you don't take it any further! Big deal, no harm done! Everyone's transition is different, there's no right or wrong as long as it's what you feel is best for YOU.

I think a lot of people wait to do anything until they know they want the whole shabang, and tend to dismiss the idea of transition if they don't fit the invisible mold of what a trans guy 'should' be. At least that's the way I was, and just from nosing around the forums, I don't think I'm alone!

Just take everything at your own pace, I would highly recommend therapy as it's the first step and doesn't cause permanent damage by any means, and I'm guessing puberty blockers wouldn't have any irreversible effects (that's just a guess though) so they wouldn't be a bad idea!

Quote from: ccc on January 18, 2010, 02:10:16 AM
Yeah man, I get you.
Its cool.
Im just one of those guys that gets rly bugged about certain things like that.
Like nothing rly bothers me, but the fact that I can't father a child, I don't have a "real" fully functioning penis, and that I could never fully be a "real" guy... per say... you know?
Im not as bothered with my female body, like most guys are. I sort of accept it, cause I know I can't fully change it. Why mess with something that already works.. but then I just want to be a normal average guy.
Idk...

Its OK not to know man. I didn't. For a long time...

Surgery is an intimidating and scary concept, and rightly so. It's expensive, painful and above all - permanent. It is something that should be weighed up VERY carefully before proceeding.

In fact, given the effects of T on someone born XX, I also feel that way regarding the decision to start HRT.


That said, I'm firmly in the "Jab me with T, knock me out, and chop-chop-chop, doc!" camp .

Personally, I find living life as an imperfect man a less horrific concept than living as an almost fully functioning (biologically speaking) female.

Yeah, I'll never be "perfect". Nor is anyone else on the planet. Everyone has something they want to change about themselves. I'm changing everything that can be changed. No sense in being unhappy about what you can change, and being "mostly happy" is better than being "not at all happy".

I used to think in an all or nothing sense when I was a teenager. So I went off, tried to enter adulthood as female and tried to (and failed to) force myself to be happy living that way (or live that way at all, really - never mind the happy). It's not until I had that experiance that I was willing to strive and settle for "much improved, almost perfect but not quite there".

Nobody gets everything they want, but few people get to experiance the feeling of getting such a huge percentage of it! 

Quote from: Aussie Jay on January 17, 2010, 10:58:56 PM
As much as I would love to have been born male – if it meant going back in time and no longer being the guy I am today... I wouldn't do it.

I've heard this alot. If given the chance I'd want to go back, be born a male and have no problem with my life being completely different. My childhood and life haven't been that great anyway. I wouldn't be losing much.

Quote from: Radar on January 18, 2010, 03:38:42 PM
I've heard this alot. If given the chance I'd want to go back, be born a male and have no problem with my life being completely different. My childhood and life haven't been that great anyway. I wouldn't be losing much.

Agreed. I mean yeah you won't be who you are today, but at least you'll be able to live the life you always wanted to live. Everything would be different, EVERYTHING, and that's how I would've liked it. Ppls standards for boys are wayyy different than for girls, especially with parents. "Oh you're a girl so you can't be out late, girls shouldn't be walking alone, girls shouldn't be driving past 10pm, girls have to wear a dress and make up, girls have to be passive and gentle, girls have to have emotions and be able to cry and feel." I would've been raised way different, with  a totally different life, and a rly different view on things. Its just not fair, that I was born into the wrong body and raised as a female. Id gladly give it all back to be born again male. And not have such over protective parents, such strict rules, and live such a fragile life. I've changed, I've become more of who I rly am and less of what they want me to be. But still, I would've like to have been taught how to be a boy and raised that way. I wish I would've realized things sooner, before puberty. It would've made it all easier, and I would've definitely gone through with everything. I know for a fact my life would be different, and for the better. But transitioning in the middle of life, and teaching yourself how to be a "man", idk just doesn't seem as good to me.

I guess I'd be a little bit different. I probably wouldn't be suicidal if I were born a boy, but you never know.

I just don't think I'd be that different at all. I mean there are a lot of stories of FTMs transitioning and finally becoming themselves. I figure it'd be the same as that.

There'll always be something a "real man" can do that we can't. Not because we're not blokes, but because the ideal, the stereotype, it's not real.
What it can or can't do is an unrealistic thing to compare yourself with.

Like when women compare themselves to magazine photos. Photoshopped 'till they resemble cartoon caricatures of an unrealistic ideal.

So, yeah.. quit comparing yourself against something that isn't realistic anyway.