When I was a zygote I said to myself in zygote language "I am like uber female".

Quote from: mija on January 17, 2010, 05:37:09 PM
When I was a zygote I said to myself in zygote language "I am like uber female".

You win.

I probably didn't "self realize" it then, but when I was 6 or 7 I was given a borrowed pair of pretty silk panties to where home from a party I was at (don't ask how mine got dirty but they did), anyway that was more than likely the "trigger" but I didn't fully realize to myself until i was in Jr High right about puberty time. then I knew something wasn't right.

Now I know Evie

Quote from: mija on January 17, 2010, 05:37:09 PM
When I was a zygote I said to myself in zygote language "I am like uber female".

11/10
Win!

I was probably between 5 and 7 years old when I first thought something like, "Oh, well, I was born a boy so I'll just have to live as a boy."

I wouldn't think anything like that for many years, and didn't really come to grips with being androgyne/gender-fluid until about 2 years ago (I'm 40).

I realized it at 28 but I can explain all my life as having GID since early childhood

My earliest memory on the subject is from when I was around 2 1/2 or 3 years old.  But I didn't have the guts to do anything about it until I was 34. 

Typical story, I knew something was askew when I was 5. I felt great shame for playing in my mum's wardrobe and almost getting caught was scary enough to hold back for awhile. As soon as I moved out at 18 I realised I was bi and experimented but didn't find it fulfilling. 25 I figured it all out from having the internet and then at 27 I starting doing soemthing about it.

I knew at 4 or 5. I remember asking my mom why I wasn't a boy and if I were a boy what she would have named me. She laughed on both accounts and I'll never forget that. It hurt me a lot. Growing up I was really confused and didn't know what it all meant. I never knew about transexuals so when I discovered I liked girls I just considered myself a lesbian, but even that didn't seem right to me. Even then I still wanted to be male and hated all female aspects of myself, but I kept going on painfully. I met the girl of my dreams and she has been nothing but supportive of this. She understands that I see myself as straight and would be considered straight by the rest of society if I make this transition. She said she loves me for me, not my gender, which is awesome! I'm 22 now and finally making what baby steps I can with her support.

About 4 here... in a way.

I always thought I'd grow up to be a man. It felt right. I'd look in the mirror and try to imagine what I'd look like when I got older - and I always saw a man looking back.

I'll avoid the whole life story thing (it'd just be ego stroking at this point), but it's along similar lines to the others.

Same here, around the age of 3, when I became aware of a lot of things. My parents told me I used to call myself and act like a boy before that, though (me being an FTM). Hard to imagine, but I guess you establish a gender role the minute you become self-aware in general.

My parents thought I was a 'spirited child' (just a rotten apple, basically) because I'd cut my hair to an inch's length from kindergarten onward, chased girls, hated 'dressing nice', and of course did other things that either gender would do. Such as cutting pictures out of books or letting glue dry all over my desk. I'm not sure if I never made friends because of GID or not, but that added to the 'spirited child' theory.

I found that miserable scenarios really got me to face who I was. It was when I was lying to my parents and flunking out of school that I got my first girlfriend; it was when my dad went to jail and I stuck it out at this ghetto school that I found out I was transsexual. Like hitting your head in the shower; pain brought out who I really was, in many respects. I'd been acting androgynous until the age of 13, then acted purposely more masculine around age 16, after I shaved my head and saw how great I looked with less hair. Not good-looking, but closer to that vision in my head. Not many people look good with shaved heads...

Yay!!!!  I am not alone

I'm not sure how old I was when I realized... Quite young, I suppose. One time after getting caught dressed up (there were many times I got caught), my older sister first used the word "->-bleeped-<-" to make fun of me. I had no idea what it meant, so I asked. When she explained it to me, I knew she was dead on. I think we both did. I remember thinking, "so there's a word for doing that??!!". Of course being kids, she meant it in the derogatory, but strangely I found comfort in it. This was probably around sixth or seventh grade.

I never really felt out of place being a little 'girl', I was just a normal kid at the time, I actually did like wearing dresses and 'girly' stuff at times, when I was quite young. I think it wasn't until I was like 8 or 9 that I started dressing and acting like a total tomboy. Then when puberty hit and I started getting breasts and hips and turning into a 'young woman' *that's* when I was like "Woah, this ain't right!! Don't like one bit!!!" I remember wishing that I could develop like a guy instead. Then I was like 18 before I really knew what transgender was, and I was like "Hey, I think that's what I am.." but I had found a way to convince myself I wasn't, it wouldn't be right for me, if I was then I would have known from a young age, etc. and continued trying to be woman.. Then everything just kind of snapped into place and I finally realized that these feelings weren't going to go away and I needed to do something about it. 21 now and finally starting to take some steps in the right direction! :]

-Aidan

"I know I was 9 when I started cross-dressing because my friend Albert, who introduced me to the pleasures, was only there in fourth grade."

how do two 9-year-old boys teach eachother to crossdress? thats very disturbing

I was 4, and have thought about it countless times, when I was 5, 8, 10, 27, etc etc. It wasn't about sex or a fetish, I take solace in that for some odd reason, maybe justifying not being "crazy" or "->-bleeped-<-ed up in the head" or some kind of schizo.

I thought it was as natural then as I do now. Although now I know how much society as a whole is against the idea, that the status quo must remain the same.

When I realized? I have no idea.  I don't remember ever not feeling this way.  I can remember specifically hoping I'd grow up to be a beautiful woman all the way back to age 3-ish?  My dad caught me putting a bow in my hair when I was seven lol...  I remember I was pretending to be Smurfette, haha.  So anyways, since forever.  I am sure I was born this way.

I finally realized there was no overcoming it when I was 28, and it still took me 5 years to get on HRT after that.  I'm not one to rush into things I guess...

Quote from: GenderFictionX on February 05, 2010, 09:18:52 PM
how do two 9-year-old boys teach eachother to crossdress? thats very disturbing

I'd be curious to know why you think this was very disturbing.

Albert would raid his mother's laundry basket.  He told me that she knew he did it and was OK with it, but I never talked to her about it.  We would dress up and play house, with me the wife and him the husband.  We both wore his mother's clothes, but our roles were him the man and me the woman.  It was completely non-sexual.  (We were 9, after all.)  He was probably as naive about sex as I was.  We would do what we saw our parents doing - talking at breakfast, the man going to work while the wife cleaned up, etc.  We might have air-kissed when he came home for work - I don't remember. 

It was dress-up - like playing cops and robbers or cowboys and indians.  But I learned the pleasure of dressing and acting as the girl I knew I was.

- Kate

Quote from: K8 on February 06, 2010, 08:17:12 AM
It was dress-up - like playing cops and robbers or cowboys and indians.  But I learned the pleasure of dressing and acting as the girl I knew I was.

- Kate

Yeah, I don't know about others, but I think at a younger age like that, it's more just 'playing pretend' and using your imagination. I know i've pretended to be all sorts of things in the past, puppy, dinosaur, police officer, army person, kings and queens and superheros, doctors, teachers, grocery store owners, barber, chef, etc.

I've struggled with the idea as far back as I can remember. I discovered hormones and corrective surgery when I was about 15. I didn't want to do anything about it, I was afraid noone would love me anymore.
I'm now 20, and willing to take that risk.