perhaps we can never know what it's like to bleed every month. However, another recent thread here showed that it seems to be a common phenomenon that after a period of time on HRT we can pretty much have all the other symptoms.
Geez. Yeah, it's that time of the month, again. Every month, same thing. It starts with feeling a little amorous, proceeding to simply feeling bloated and fat (although the slight swelling of my breasts at this time is welcomed). This further progresses to increasing tenderness in my nipples (among other places), finally giving way to full blown emotional chaos with the accompanying tear-fest over any and everything. The whole process from first symptoms and back again takes more than a week. So here I am again in my emotional basket, as in basket
case. This morning I burst into tears because I finished reading a book I was enjoying. The book wasn't sad, but I was evidently because I had finished it. After that it was like someone had turned on the faucet. I started crying over literally nothing. There was no rhyme or reason for it whatsoever, it just welled up inside me and had to come out.
Sigh. The joys of womanhood. I love the Moon, I love to play outside at night under her magical light, I love to follow her phases and I find it utterly fascinating that the direction of the waning/waxing cycle runs backwards down here in the southern hemisphere because she appears upside down from her appearance in the north. This monthly cycle thing, I haven't pinned down the exact number of days yet but it's something just under a calendar month, makes me feel connected to her in a way I never could before. This is part of what it means to be female. True I may have missed it before, but I get it
now. And so I see that women share a kind of common bond in even this.
And it is the same with all of us who share or who have shared this disease of transsexualism, or whatever you want to call it. We've all been there and we KNOW. So many people brush us off as having made some kind of kamakazi lifestyle choice, as if our gender is ever a choice that anyone can make. But they cannot know like we know, or feel the utter horror of being forced to live as the wrong sex, or know what it's like to confront that part of your soul that knows what everyone has told you your whole life long about who you are is simply not true, and despite years of trying to conform to that false image we can never really lose the feeling that it isn't who we were meant to be.
ps. **hugs** Spacial
