I finally got the call - my doc is putting in a referral for an endocrinologist! Not expecting T just yet unless they'll do it without a therapist letter, but i figure i can ask questions and get blood work done.

Therapist should be lined up in another week or two! I'm so fricken excited, lmao!

So now my serious question - i may need to talk to my parents before i see a therapist. I would like to do it this weekend. Any suggestions on the best way to "come out" to them? I've been so tempted to talk to them over the past few weeks but i always put it off. Is face to face better? A letter?

Well, there is no reason you should need parental approval to see a therapist, unless you need them to pay for it. From there the therapist can help you to come out to your folks.

I think face to face is better, especially if you are living with them,  but it is worth writing down your thoughts and rehearsing before though.

good luck!

Quote from: Nicky on January 19, 2010, 06:02:06 PM
Well, there is no reason you should need parental approval to see a therapist, unless you need them to pay for it. From there the therapist can help you to come out to your folks.

I think face to face is better, especially if you are living with them,  but it is worth writing down your thoughts and rehearsing before though.

good luck!

Oh, i don't need their permission or anything like that! I'm on my mom's insurance, which should cover fees.

But i do want to tell them before starting T since i live with them. It looks like T may be possible BEFORE therapist visit, though, so i may have to talk to them without therapy or any advice from a therapist.

I'm going to send a letter for several reasons. One is that many of them live farther away. Two is that some of them would probably blow up and not listen face to face. Third is so that I can get everything in and they can look back at it for reference (especially the links). My family has a tendency to warp and confuse stories- imagine the game telephone- so having actual text will keep things factual.

Grats on the endo!

I ordered a book from Amazon called the Transgender Debate, which I plan to give to my mum when I come out to her. It's short and to the point, written by a transguy, and only £3 so you could get multiple copies cheap if you want to.

The first half gives information about most things they'd want to know, may forget/not want to ask about. The second half is probably not as relevent to them right away (history and politics of trans issues), but they may find themselves interested.

Quote from: Banf on January 20, 2010, 12:26:05 PM
Grats on the endo!

I ordered a book from Amazon called the Transgender Debate, which I plan to give to my mum when I come out to her. It's short and to the point, written by a transguy, and only £3 so you could get multiple copies cheap if you want to.

The first half gives information about most things they'd want to know, may forget/not want to ask about. The second half is probably not as relevent to them right away (history and politics of trans issues), but they may find themselves interested.

I'll look into it - short and to the point is perfect for them (they don't like reading lmao, so a longer book would bore them.) Too bad it isn't offered on Kindle (i checked) or i would have it faster. Ah well....

I kinda blurted it out in the heat of the moment, and when I fumbled with the words I gave them the letter I had written.
I went into another room, they read it and then we talked. In my letter I stipulated that I didn't expect to be yelled at or treated like a child - I said I am taking the adult road in telling them, I am XX years old and expect to discuss this like the calm rational adults we all are.
I had literature to offer them and websites. I offered them everything if they wanted it... Youtube - even answers I had got here at Susan's...
Its scary stuff dude, and you're the best judge at how your folks will take it best. If you would like to read my letter I'm happy to share just PM me... Otherwise good luck man - let us know how you go.

I've set a date: this Saturday. Two days. Early morning i'm going to leave a letter and some papers downstairs for my parents to read (no, i won't do face-to-face because i know that probably won't end well) and i'm going to spend the day cleaning my room (it needs it, bad, so hitting two birds with one stone.) Go me.

I can't just wait around and hope i get in to a therapist BEFORE the endocrinologist (since the endo referral is actually IN.) I don't want to have to be rushed to explain why i'm getting a call like that. Plus it's so damn frustrating not being able to talk to them about things.... *sigh*

So i've got a letter drafted to print out tomorrow morning, and i'm going to print out some Info for them to read over. Also going to get the book Banf mentioned (thanks for that one BTW) for them to read over later on.

This weekend is good as any - nothing planned (though we all have colds.) I also start college on Monday so i can go in with their support using my chosen name (hopefully.)

Wish me luck!

Just wondering - bit of a big deal telling the parentals... Anyone know anything??

Like i said in my other post on another thread (maybe not the exact wording) - tell them however you feel comfortable, WHEN you feel comfortable. It was suggested to tell them together (or have them read a letter at the same time) just in case you're wrong about who you think would be more accepting.

I went the letter route because i don't feel comfortable talking to them face to face about this. Never have been with important stuff that will cause major changes. It really helped me to tell a couple of my close friends first as well as my doctor - gave me some confidence.

Unfortunately i didn't get to tell them this weekend as planned - my dad got sick with pneumonia. Planning for next saturday unless i get my endo visit in earlier.

Good luck - just wondering how you went  Keep truckin' and good luck for the endo too!

Thanks - crossing fingers that endo will be NEXT week (so i have the weekend to tell the parents) and that i'll get a therapy appointment same week.