Hi! I'm Dis, the name comes from a Tolkien's dwarf who's female but looks like a male:)
I'm 28 years old and albeit I can remember gender-atypical behaviour since childhood I realized my gender issues about 7 months ago. I seem to have repressed these feelings, because when they got out I fell into a 6-month long emotional crisis from which I've recovered just recently:)
I've taken a few online tests that indicate I'm female (COGIATI 265 probable transsexual, SAGE test 665 MTF etc), albeit I don't need tests to tell me that:) Have joined a trans community and now coming to Susan's as well to learn more, make new friends, and if possible support others!
I live with my father, I don't work currently, he has heard about trans people but he still tries to understand (and only recently got out of the "oh he's just gay" stage... well close enough, I'm actually a lesbian LOL). He is generally supportive but very negative at the idea of transition (and there's no money for it anyway). I haven't seen a therapist yet, but I've found two in my city and I expect to see one or both the next month maybe.
I'm not really a cross-dresser (just once tried mommy's clothing as a child), but I made an experiment to examine my feelings and it seems to confirm I'm really an MTF rather than just wanting to express feminity.
To tell you the truth, I wish I could be just normal or simply a cross-dresser, it would be much more easy. But I've got both social and body dysphoria, and albeit I feel the need to transition I'm afraid of the whole process and the costs involved, including the associated social disapproval and ostracism. For now I focus in learning more about the process and doing reversible changes such as voice training (got some videos about it).
