I am in a human sexuality class, and we were discussing female anatomy.. when the prof showed us a diagram of the fallopian tubes and cervix, etc.. (the 'inside' parts you cant see) It really freaked me out.  I hate they idea that I have those tubes and crap inside my lower stomach.  it really effected me, I don't want that crap in my body. Ya know?

Has anyone else felt like this? 

I'm taking that class come summer as one of my non-lab science courses (everything else offered looked boring)....

I don't get freaked out as much - i hate the thought of it all, but i don't let it bother me for too long. Dwell on the bad things and nothing good will come out of it, you know? I just keep my eye on the long term goal (which will probably include hysterectomy/oophorectomy years down the road.)

I've never been one to totally freak out, though. Must just be me, lol.

Yes, the internal female anatomy has always disturbed me, especially the uterus and what it does... I don't want that inside of me.  I'm getting disturbed just thinking about it.   

To be honest, the internal bits annoy me more than the external, in the downstairs department.
Might have something to do with actually having something grabbable to start with, but none the less...

Yes absolutely, in fact this was the first dysphoria I was aware of and one I have definately had all my life.  The fact that I have all this equipment for carrying a child makes me feel simultaneously terrified and nauseous.  When I was in a 'straight' relationship the extent to which I was phobic of pregnancy kind of freaked him out! 

Oh dude, I was watching this really interesting show on fetal development and stuff, but I had to turn it off because the more they talked about stuff like the uterus I started feeling very uncomfortable after the thought crossed my mind that I have that stuff in me. Actually started to make me feel ill.

I feel separated from my girly bits. I don't even venture within for sexual reasons. It's very uncomfortable.

Though all this is true, I have little to no problem learning/viewing/thinking about the inner workings because it's just part of the human body. I'm sure it's all my separation though that keeps me from this sort of dysphoria.

Something I thought interesting was last night while I watched the movie Bound the two main girls had sexual relations. While the soft core scene ensued, I had such a disgusted feeling and just had to look away. My girlfriend could tell something was wrong, but I said there wasn't.   

I'm guessing I'm more prone to dysphoria with the outer workings than the inner since there I have no separation from what I can see plain as day. 

Yes. Yes yes yes yes yes.  You aren't alone in that one, Elijah.  I cannot think on the existence of those parts in me for very long without feeling deeply disturbed.  I didn't like the idea of having them when I first found out about them as a child in sex ed.  I said to myself: 'that can't be true, I can't have those, won't have those.'  When I got the confirmation that I had a set (at puberty, I'm sure you can imagine what) it sent me into a wicked tailspin that has never really gone away.  I've gotten good at quelling the nasty feelings that come whenever I think about it--freaking out about something I can't change right now is no good.

I actually look forward to the hysto moreso than top surgery (though I'm not knocking the top surgery, pretty stoked to have had it).

Oh yeah. The idea of all that being in me makes me sick. Diagrams of external genitalia are disturbing too, because owning female genitals, you don't generally have to look at them. Out of sight, out of mind.

Definitely can relate. The whole idea of that stuff in me makes me sick. I feel really uncomfortable if anyone mentions them in pretty much any context

I don't freak out but every time I see a diagram I think about that's inside me and it disgusts me. Having the wrong organs sucks.

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Post Merge: January 25, 2010, 02:03:15 PM

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Quote from: Alessandro on January 25, 2010, 12:07:22 PMWhen I was in a 'straight' relationship the extent to which I was phobic of pregnancy kind of freaked him out!

Yep, I'm the same way. It's always been my biggest fear (or one of them).

I don't think it really causes dysphoria for me but I have always been really disgusted by it. I just think it is really gross.

Quote from: SilverFang on January 25, 2010, 01:45:22 PM
Oh yeah. The idea of all that being in me makes me sick. Diagrams of external genitalia are disturbing too, because owning female genitals, you don't generally have to look at them. Out of sight, out of mind.

   Well said!  I didn't care that much about having them until I started to pay more attention to the fact!

From the time I was in 6th grade when they showed those 'movies' and I had to sit through the girl one, i always thought that the uterus was the most ugly, hideous thing and I was horrified it occupied a place in my abdomen.  And when it started doing its thing it was a gazillion times worse.  Glad it's gone!!!!



Jay

eh... what I can't see doesn't so much bother me. 
Health class menstruation discussions on the other hand... ew

I experience more dysphoria around male anatomy discussions than female. 

Quote from: GnomeKid on January 25, 2010, 05:30:52 PM
I experience more dysphoria around male anatomy discussions than female.

Same here. It bothers me to see or hear about what I don't have for insides and all that than what I do have.

I'm actually pretty fascinated by the uterus. Not the gross, scary stuff like menstruation and pregnancy but the other stuff about it. I'm fascinated by the way it contracts and gyrates inside. Did I tell you about the time the gyno reached all the way up and touched it? I could feel it through her hand and it was like this strange slippery, aquatic world. With the consistency of a jellyfish. I just wanted her to do it again.

in general, i'm all right with my outside parts. i don't feel a great deal of dysphoria linked to what i can see.
however, i have always had a huge paranoia about pregnancy, to the point of it being a common nightmare of mine. it helps that my partners have always been female, but the paranoia remains. it took several years and a great deal of guts to finally schedule a gyn. appointment just to check on things. i think i'd rather get rid of my inside parts and keep the chesticles, if i had to choose.
on the flip side, i also have no desire to have male parts, inside or out.

i guess i might be the only one that doesnt mind them at all, in fact i like the fact that i will have somthing that will remind me of what i was once..i dont really know how to explain. i guess its becasue i havnt had a bad life as a girl, infact its been great, i just would rather transition because i definetly feel much more male. theres just somthing about sort of having both (like being male with the ability to be female as well) its really hard to explain in words, i know for a fact that my mind isnt female..i dont know maybe its a sense of impowerment, like i can be anything i want..

does this make any sense?

Quote from: fdfge on January 25, 2010, 10:18:37 PM
i guess i might be the only one that doesnt mind them at all, in fact i like the fact that i will have somthing that will remind me of what i was once..i dont really know how to explain. i guess its becasue i havnt had a bad life as a girl, infact its been great, i just would rather transition because i definetly feel much more male. theres just somthing about sort of having both (like being male with the ability to be female as well) its really hard to explain in words, i know for a fact that my mind isnt female..i dont know maybe its a sense of impowerment, like i can be anything i want..

does this make any sense?

Good for you, I think that's great. I don't feel the same way, but I get what you're saying. I haven't had a bad life at all as a girl either, there was just always a vague sense of disconnectedness, a feeling of something not being right. Now that I've found out what it is, I really feel grossed out about the stuff I have, instead of only feeling a weird sense of "that's just doesn't seem like me!!!" 

Seeing any anatomy, male or female doesn't bother me. When I was young I was a big science geek. Isort of still am now. But I had books on anatomy and would look at the pictures and read it for fun. I was irritated that I had female bits but never really that I had a uterus.
I just don't want anyone touching me there. And when it is talked about ( Mine in specific. For example, if my girlfriend mentions it ) that is when I flip out. I don't want anyone acknowledging that it exists on or in me.