I was doing my usual walk around the mall after work and noticed a women who looked all wrong. Later when I got a closer look I could tell see was about 40 years old all alone and move fast. Very poorly dress and makeup not done well but she was out.
I almost said something, then though better and just let her pass.
Then tears began to roll down my cheek. Maybe this was her first time out.
I remember my first time and it was in the same mall. If anyone would have said boo to me I would have been crushed and I bet I didn't look much better. Anyway my heart went out to her. Maybe I will see her again? What should I do if I do? I really don't know.
Did I do right?  Or should I have tried to make talk with her? I really wonder?
This life is so lonely for us most of the time.

Jillieann

OMG do I remember the first time.  A scared rabbit in a pack of wolves. 

If someone had said anything to me I would have died.  But now I think about what should I do if I was in your shoes?

And I think I would follow her, discretely and just be her wing woman.  If she gets into trouble or is confused then I would approach her as if we were old friends.  And just be there for her.

Hi there,

When I think about my first outing I could cringe now, I even frighted a dad and his son just by walking past, lol. Any way I too saw someone in a department store several months ago and I did follow then and tried to make a comment on some article of clothing on display but they did not reply so I think I must have scarred them too, lol. I think I would still try to talk to them if I saw someone else though.


Stardust

I don't like 'public' enough to be able to go out as I am let alone being out for the first time in anything other then what I normally wear. Just reading this makes me remember the first time someone convinced me to go out in public wearing sweat pants (mine were in the wash from a very messy job I had done and I didn't have another pair of pants on me). The guy offered to let me wear one of his sweat pants and I was mortified going out wearing what I consider 'underwear'. But because I'm just not the kind of person to say anything I said "cool" and went along like it was every day for me, but I'll never go out like that again.

If I went out I would have to feel 100% comfortable with how I looked, and even then I'd rather have someone with me I knew then to be out alone.

I would cry for any person so locked within their own life that they could not approach another person and say 'hi.'  Who knows, could have been the best day of their life up to that point.  Or they could have used a friend, and some tips. 

Sometimes, thinking I'm all that and a bit more, I sit in judgment on what's going on.  Then I think.  Wow, perhaps this is these kids (almost grand kids to me now) very first most favorite band ever.  Maybe this is their first concert, their first time in the sacred confines of the Fillmore and that I might think it sucks will never matter to them, and should not to me, so I get to work making it even better for them.

Sometimes it's hard to know what to do in the moment

But who doesn't love to find a friend.....Especially when you are afraid and out for the first time

Take tactful action if the situation should present itself again.....You just may make a new friend

I'm going to be honest.

If were out in my early days... or ->-bleeped-<-, even still where I'm at now if somebody came over to me and let on that they knew I was trans out of the blue, I'd be on 100% guard and extremely wary. There are too many predators. It would be very awkward too, how do you even broach that topic?

QuoteAnd I think I would follow her, discreetly

That's kinda creepy. It puts the lotion on it's skin...

I think a smile and a nod would be enough to let them known that you were a kindred spirit, without giving them a fright.

Depending on the situation, I think I might have just said "hi" and smiled and seen how it went from there.  You don't have to indicate that you are clocking them.  Just make a small, friendly opening for them to enter or close as they choose.

But then as Kate I am much more outgoung than was that boring old guy who used to live here.

- Kate

Since I can't ever be totally sure, I treat the person as just another woman. I smile and pass by. I have probably seen three or four transwomen that I didn't know. According to my therapist, there are 20000 transsexuals in the tri county area so I probably pass one by regularly. I just hope that they don't look at me and think "Oh poor thing"  because while I think I pass, I still have many masculine features. Being old helps a lot to pass because nobody pays attention to crones.

Maggie

I would agree with a smile and a simple, hi.

Quote from: Janet Lynn on January 26, 2010, 04:55:31 PM
And I think I would follow her, discretely and just be her wing woman.  If she gets into trouble or is confused then I would approach her as if we were old friends.  And just be there for her.

Awwwww, that melted my heart. I could see someone doing that with big sunglasses, fedora, and overcoat, following someone around ready to pounce at the first sign of trouble.
But honestly,  awwwww. <3

I remember the first halloween that I went out dressed as a girl.  I had my wife (girlfriend at the time) and my ex-boyfriend with me.  I still felt like everyone was looking at me.  I just about jumped out of my skin when some asked us for directions.  It might have been the area we were in many call it the "gayberhood" and I thought that are group looked like a couple that just picked up a "transexual" for the night.  I was the only one in a skirt at the time the other two were wearing jeans and it was cold out.  I did see someone that might have been out for the first time downtown, she was not walking fast but kept looking around as she walked.  I hate to say it but the wig gave it away for her I am not sure if it was her first time out.  I will have to keep this post in mind for the next time I see someone again.