Quote from: Virginia Marie on September 04, 2009, 11:52:25 PM
Virginia contemplates keeping the fruitcakes she gets at Christmas and buying a large bottle of Jack 

Seems that you could squeeze a fair amount of jack out of the fruitcakes that you get from christmas 

Had a very nice rum cake over christmas, but also a horrible bricklike fruitcake

Thank you all for 15 minutes of solid laughter!

(ps I do not believe fruitcake is food - except maybe at Susan's place its food for laughter)

Didn't read all the replies, so apologies if this has been posted before.

http://www.zug.com/live/83255/Can-a-Fruitcake-Stop-a-Bullet.html

There's a fruitcake at the end that stops a bullet.

Quote from: SilverFang on January 27, 2010, 06:20:55 AM
Didn't read all the replies, so apologies if this has been posted before.

http://www.zug.com/live/83255/Can-a-Fruitcake-Stop-a-Bullet.html

There's a fruitcake at the end that stops a bullet.

ROFLMAO ......That was great!!! 

Quote from: SilverFang on January 27, 2010, 06:20:55 AM
Didn't read all the replies, so apologies if this has been posted before.

http://www.zug.com/live/83255/Can-a-Fruitcake-Stop-a-Bullet.html

There's a fruitcake at the end that stops a bullet.

there we go, vote for fruitcake - it could save your life

I can only add that anything that has "Hostess" written on it can not be considered a positive example of the fruitcake universe.

Try a Claxton Fruit Cake.

The "Two Fat Ladies",  on the UK cooking show said one should never let an American near a pumpkin, it appears that this axiom must now be broadened to include that masterpiece of the culinary arts, the Fruit Cake.

How anyone can possibly produce one which does not cause one's tastebuds to leap in orgasmic delight is a mystery to me.  Even the humble Lions Club Christmas Cake, once released from it's metallic prison,  is a joy to behold as it presents itself to one, in all it's sultana-laden glory, redolent with the aroma of a fine Scotch whisky.

Truly, you are among the deprived of the world if you are bereft of the this veritable King of Cakes.

2nd time I have read all the posts in this.....and LMAO, again. Classic. 

I can't even eat the damned stuff. So I have to go with, "BURN IT! HERESY, THY NAME IS FRUITCAKE."

Since I'm a vegan, I would have to make my own fruitcake-nonvegans seem baffled by the arcane arts of making vegan pastry...oh, and I have to find no-food-coloring dried fruits to put in it...

Given that, I have yet to meet a simple sugar or carb I didn't like.  In fact there's only a rare few that I *can* actually have in the house without eating the ENTIRE THING. Be it the whole bag of cookies, the whole cake, whatever.  My wife made cookies and I had to ask her to put a padlock on the jar.  And they weren't even that good.

I have a chronic binge-eating problem,which is currently under control, but...Single-serving bags are my friends.  I DON'T think I could be safely left unattended with a properly-made fruitcake.  It would be like leaving a bag of coke around a reformed tweaker.

(All your fruitcakes are belong to us now...Make your time now...)

no in-between? and on an androgyny board D:

haha, JK  fruitcake is delicious

Was this thread about eating fruitcakes, or doing something else to/with them?

Hey,
Just wanted to offer my fruitcake-eating services to any of you who would hate to see a gift go to waste.
Man...now I'm hungry....

Quote from: Rebis on October 28, 2010, 10:31:26 PM
Was this thread about eating fruitcakes, or doing something else to/with them?

Yes.

Hey, now, I'm married behave

I poured all that booze into the fruitcake but still didn't get anywhere with it.

Quote from: Rebis on November 01, 2010, 10:20:38 PM
I poured all that booze into the fruitcake but still didn't get anywhere with it.

That's a tough fruit cake!  Try sheep puns!  They're baaaaaaad. 

Fruitcake one of the foulest cakes on earth in my opinion, everytime I attempt to eat one I would nearly blow chunks, it just taste aweful to me. One time I cheated and stole all the m&ms or whatever the chocolatte was from it and happily ate that.

LET THEM EAT CAKE!!!