...between taking it easy and procrastinating?

I decided to pretty much take this term off, while I didn't quit school I enrolled only in fun electives that are online. I went to one electro appointment just to see how the percocet would work (YUM) and have pretty much been sitting around watching Hulu and playing Monopoly and Uno on my iPod. My classes aren't really pressing, they all just have to be done by a certain date as it's all just bookwork...not even a term paper to obsess about. Electro isn't going anywhere, unfortunately that won't go away if I keep ignoring it. I even got a "new" car and I haven't bothered to move all my stuff out of my old one yet, much less run an ad for it.

Granted I've been hard charging for several years now, especially this last one. I dunno, I'm closing in on an anniversary and I just kind of thought things would be a little further along. To be fair, it's a lot harder than I thought it was when I laid out the plan, transition, 400 level courses, lol everything but electro really...and pre percocet even electro was, well. Next term I'll go heavy on the lower level courses again, but that's because they are cheaper and my state grant drops off until next year because of funding cuts. I'll eventually sell my old car and get back to electro, but I just feel like I've lost momentum. I was even late taking my hormones today, if that says anything!

After years of waking up and looking in the mirror and saying "god youre gross", I finally liked what I saw in the mirror today. It's been a lot of work though, and there's a lot left to do. The next year is basically a rinse and repeat of last year, hopefully without the stay in the loony bin.

So how do you keep going? Remember I'm a psych major so I've read all the crap we can all quote, I'm curious what works for you, real time. Throughout my life I have always just "gotten through" things, meaning I would put myself in situations where my survival instinct would bring about the desired outcome. Needless to say the nervous system can't do that forever. How do you stay motivated?

Each and every day I prepare myself, as a woman, regardless of what the day may hold.  Shave the nasty stuff, minimum foundation.  And then I live that day, as a woman.

If I am to go forward, I will need to not shave, so that the nasty stuff can be zapped.  But even then I am still a woman.  Step by step, day by day.  Everyday a woman.  And never, never give up on that I am a woman.

Do what you must, but never give up on who you are.

Hugs, Becca.
Janet

Hi..

   Its called incentive you have a gaol to work to wards .
  Never,       
      taking your eyes from off that . lets say out of 62 years the gaol was there for me at 10 or the start . of my road trip . after 52 years . has the trip been done . well i m a long way on it . no its not done .
       yeap i v had my downs & up s . so far i wont complain . that does not say every thing is right . just means i m still going . you must allways look ahead . if not you lose sight of where you are going .
  & i m happy with where i am as well .
  whats my future ,   to live as my self . be the best i can if not better ,
      love life   & live life,
     thats my insentive .
  my gaol is to be who i am with out those restrants that i had ,

    ...noeleena...

One day at a time, sweetie.

I have things I look forward to almost every day - meeting friends, laser or electro appointments, shopping, therapy, etc.  I always pull myself together - makeup and hair and clothes - because I can't stand myself when I don't, but sometimes I pull myself together into slob mode.  

Don't be hard on yourself when you take a little time off to recharge you batteries.  It's when you get stuck in the shutdown mode that it becomes a problem.

I once bought a car I was going to restore.  I would go out in the garage and look at it.  I would start to think about all the things I had to do - bodywork, engine rebuild, brakes, upholstry, and on and on and on.  Then I would go into the house and get a beer.  I never did much on the car and sold it little better than I had bought it.

The lesson I learned from that experience was that I shouldn't look too far down the road.  Do what needs to be done now and plan what needs to be done next, but don't worry about what comes after that.  It has worked pretty well for me, but of course YMMV.

Hang in there, hon.

- Kate