I think that a part of the problem is that we put too much weight in the "trans" part.
I believe that we ourselves are partially responsible for "trans" being treated to mean "not true" by putting that much weight on it.
By acting as if acknowledging our pasts makes us less man/woman we lend credence to the idea that the trans man/woman is somehow less than a man/woman. We add to the problem.
I don't feel a trans man/woman is any less of a man/woman than a cisgendered man/woman. This is because I believe (and have scientific evidence as reason to believe) that gender ultimately rests in our brains.
Not all women are fertile, not all women are XX, not all women are born with (perfectly normal) female genitals.
Not all men are fertile, not all men are XY, not all men are born with (perfectly normal) male genitals.
It's perfectly clear that the only real, reliable way to tell the gender of another person is to look at the brain (or ask).
When I say "I am a transsexual man" it doesn't change that I am a man, no more than saying "I'm a pansexual male" or "I'm a brown haired male" or "I'm a blue eyed bloke" or "I'm a 6'2 bloke".
None of these things make me less of a man, none of these things make me more of a man.
I will never be able to change the fact that the doctor's pronounced me a perfectly healthy baby girl at birth.
I will have to take testosterone for the rest of my life.
I will have to have surgeries done to correct the female aspects of my body so that it can more accurately fit my brain.
There will be people who remember me looking like a girl and a woman in existence for at least another 80 years.
None of those things make me any less of a man either.
If I start acting as if they do, then it is I, not someone else, who have started telling myself that I'm not the man I am, and you know what, F that!
I am Hans Miniar Jónsson.
I'm a bloke, guy, boy, man, whatever word for male you want to use.
I am a "He", not a "she".
And I'm not gonna excuse myself for having to do a fair bit of work to look like myself and have a name that more accurately suits me.
I'm not gonna omit parts of my past as if they were "dirty little secrets" because they are not dirty, they don't make me less of a man, and they are not "secrets".
For better or worse, I am a transman, and I'll have to live with that.
Just like I have to live with my haircolour (and it's rapid graying), eyecolour, sexuality, personality, chronic pain, height, shoe size, eyesight, etc.. etc.. etc...
... and since I mentioned eyesight.
If I have lasik eye surgery and have my need for glasses corrected, I'm not gonna deny ever wearing glasses and avoid mentioning glasses forever. It's not gonna change that I did see while I had the glasses and I do see after having it corrected.
The point I'm making is...
These words, trans, passing, stealth, etc.. they Do Not make you less of a man/woman, and if you feel they do then you are putting that on yourself.
The words themselves don't do anything, it's you.