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Facial Piercings

Started by Eli, January 22, 2010, 09:30:08 PM

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Lex

I've gone through a bunch of ear piercings since I've began my transition and I have my tongue pierced.

When I started my transition I had my lobes pierced with silver 18g hoops and two cartilage piercings in my right ear.
To balance out the cartilage piercings I got my left side pierced... and then soon after had my right side pierced again.. Which adds up to *counts on fingers* 4 cartilage piercings. I just ended up taking them all out last week because I realized how feminine it looked on me.

My lobes are streched to a 2g right now and I don't feel that they make me look feminine at all (though when I started stretching in the begining, the "hoops" I used looked very feminine). Now I usually wear silver plugs or flesh tunnels. Either way, I haven't heard any comments about them yet =]

If you do plan on stretching your ears though, make sure you do your research! It's easy to mess up if you jump too many sizes and don't use the right material.
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Eli

Wow, it's great to hear everyone's opinions and it's pretty interesting how everyone has their own takes on facial piercing.

Quote from: tekla on January 23, 2010, 12:24:24 PMI'd really suggest not doing anything that standard business drag does not cover up.  In a highly competitive job market anything you do that makes it easy for the person making the choice to eliminate you from the 'maybe' pile and stick you in the circular file is to your best advantage.

I can understand that. Thankfully I've been a pretty "straight laced" kid so far, so I really don't have any permanent body markings yet (excluding my piercings, obviously, which can be removed). Though hopefully the fields I'm hoping to work in will be a bit accepting of a little "artistic expression", but I don't really plan on getting anymore piercing or any tattoos done in the foreseeable future.

Quote from: CindyJames on January 24, 2010, 02:15:42 AMFacial piercings? again I'm not likely to view them favourably. It doesn't worry me, but the 80 year old that I want you too look after, or the people coming through the door frightened and worried will not take comfort in your appearance.

Have a think. Why do people in authorative positions wear suits and ties if male. Business suits, knee length skirts, no high heels and don't flash the puppies if female? Emergency workers wear uniforms etc?
(abbreviated for length, but my reply is to the whole post)

Again, another valid argument, especially for those working in a "dealing with people" job. I've actually worked in a medical office that made me dye my hair a "natural" color while employed there, so yeah, I know first hand about the whole "looking the role". But while working at the office I also learned that I'm not very good with dealing with people. :-\ So I'll probably not be dealing in the business/medical/sales field where you almost have to "sell yourself (your personality)" to make a sale/deal.

Quote from: Teknoir on January 23, 2010, 02:22:56 AMI think tunnels look feminine. They look like women's earrings from afar, and they still have that feminising effect on you close up. They are not the friend of the FTM looking to "pass". That said - that particular concern is only temporary if you plan on T.

T isn't quuuuiiiite in the picture (waiting to have first counseling session in Feb). Not having access to T has really been one of the driving forces as to why I was contemplating taking out the piercings in the first place (for now I've been only wearing them at home/night), since currently my face (while not excessively feminine) is not all that masculine.

Quote from: Austin James on January 24, 2010, 12:51:34 PMoh eli i kno i said silicone plugs are better because they dont smell but i read you were a 10 gauge and tyring to get a silicone plug in a hole smaller than a 6 gauge is nearly impossible, just thought i would mention that.

Thanks for the tip, and also for the recommendations for websites as well. Even if I don't decide to gauge up, perhaps I can find some earrings that are less ... hoopy.
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sneakersjay

As an older person, I do agree with Tekla and Cindy to a certain extent.  Doing things you can remove or cover up is wise from an employability standpoint.  Yes, the field you choose and your geographical location do play a role in what is accepted or not, but you never know when life's circumstances may necessitate a move to a more conservative location.

I was talking with a guy online yesterday who said he wanted highlights in his hair, so I said go for it, why not?  In my area guys do it all the time, not an issue, and is tame by any standards.  Well in his area (ultra conservative) and being a teacher, he said it would NOT go over well.  I mean, seriously?  Highlights??  Well done and they wouldn't be noticeable, but he said where he lives, men don't DO that ever.

I've worked in places even here in the more liberal northeast where tattoos had to be covered, and piercings other than ears were frowned upon in the workplace.  But my current employer allows tattoos and other piercings as well as funky hair colors.

Jay


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Nathan.

I love piercings so i'm probably going to have to get a job in the body mod world.

I think for an ftm you need to avoid the 'girly' piercings like the monroe, medusa, nostril...

I think stretched lobes can look masculine, it depends on what you wear in them and size.

Right now I have no facial piercings as I retired my septum, I just have stretched lobes.
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Smashley

I love piercings...I have my Ears gauged to 7/8 inch and I also have my lip and eyebrow done...a really good site for getting any kind of piercing stuff is http://www.painfulpleasures.com that is where I get all my stuff because I can never find anything in my size here where I live
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Eli

Quote from: sneakersjay on January 26, 2010, 09:08:30 AMIn his area (ultra conservative) and being a teacher, he said it would NOT go over well.  I mean, seriously?  Highlights??

My first reaction to reading that was, "what country was he from?", seriously. I live in the very conservative south east US, and I was just remembering about how one of my (married) male co-workers got highlights last fall. But I suppose it'd depend on the type of highlights too, and the type of school too.
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tekla

A lot of this stuff is 'this years (decades) fashion' and will look as hip in twenty years as that hippie stuff looked did in 1988. 
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Cindy

I really don't want to rain on any parade and I'm sorry if I sound like it; it isn't true; but maybe as Tekla and Sneakers Jay have noted experience is only learned by experience, sorry about that :laugh:.
Travel can also be a problem if you have tatts and piercings, again most places are no problems but some you will get attention. The tatts may be less of a problem unless they are considered offensive by the authorities, or by the locals or (even worse) insulting to the locals.
Like it's a really bad idea to go to areas of Northern Ireland or Eire, with God Save the Queen, the Union Jack or anything celebrating the UK  :laugh:.  I was in (then) Yugoslavia and watched some poor person kicked around a bar because of a tattoo, I didn't understand the problem and I think he was german tourist and didn't now either, but ignorance is no excuse.
Places in Asia (for example) are very sensitive to body ornaments, whether you are presenting as male or female. Even females walking around some areas in shorts or a short skirt can make things et quite nasty.
And (some) facial piercings may be regarded as taboo. And of course piercings and tatts make you stand out, not always a good idea as a tourist, the price goes up %500 straight away.

The problem may not always be violence against you, but you may become a target for the latest drug arrest. A fictional newspaper report in the Singapore Times eg "A tourist guy who looks strange was found with a kilo of H in his luggage. He denies all charges but as the police picture shows he is a devious person. Police person X has now been promoted due to their good record." The devious person rots; truely.
BTW the places are examples only I mean no offence to anyone.

Cindy
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LordKAT

Personal opinion, piercings are gross. I feel sick when I go to a restaurant and the waiter/tress has piercing other than simple small single ear piercings. I can only think of the gunk they may be dropping even unknowingly into my food. I usually will leave the place and not return.

The idea of a medical person around me gives me the same sick feeling for about the same reasons.

I have no piercings and see no value in them. I don't like looking at them and am glad I don't work with people who have them.


again, personal opinion only.
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Teknoir

Always remember - with regular piercings you can always take 'em out.

I've taken out the vert-lab for job interviews before, and you could barely see the mark where it was (made it a right pain to get back in that night though).

Tattoos, large gauge and stretched piercings on the other hand.... ooooh boy. Much bigger cleanup job when they go out of style or you need a job somewhere conservative.

Before anyone gets either, I'd suggest a bit of research on the reversal proceedures and "hiding it" options you have. Make an informed decision, and never count on things going back to 100% of what they were.

I've seen people try to "undo" stretched lobes. It's... pretty horrible. They aren't something that will go away in a week. Keep that in mind if you're going down that route.

You know you're starting to creep towards middle age when your generations "weird" becomes mainstream :laugh:
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jet3

I honestly dont think you should change your style up because your style is part of you. I'm on T now but when I wasnt I still wanted to be me. If you like your earrings/gauges keep them.

Before I was on T I had my ears gauged to a 4g for a long time.  I decided to take them out about 3 months before I started T and just wore big diamonds. I honestly didnt pass anymore or any less either way.  I would say I passed about 80-85% of the time with my gauges in and with my diamonds in.
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FolkFanatic

I had my lobes pierced once... looong time ago. They never healed right so i let them close up and didn't/don't want it done again. 

But I've always wanted my cartilage (ear) pierced. And my tongue. Common sense won out with the tongue thing but i'm still seriously considering cartilage. I've seen quite a few guys around here with it done and i really like the look if i can sit through the piercing part of it, lmao.

I guess to each their own when it comes to piercing. I've seen feminine and/or masculine piercings on either gender around here. I just prefer stuff i can cover up or remove with worrying about it looking strange (as said already, for jobs and career related reasons.)

Same with tats (also looking into one of those - very discreet of course.)

((And all this coming from someone who hates needles!))
"It's not a lie if they make you lie. If the only truth they can accept is their own."

"..since God is love, and God doesn't make any mistakes, then you must be exactly the way He wants you to be."
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tekla

Well just two thing - OK perhaps more.  First, no matter how cool, trendy and in style something/anything is, odds are the people making the final decisions are going to be like Cindy or myself, old, out of it and not trendy.  Hip, cool, trendy persons are in jobs and fields like graphic design, and they don't go into something boring, dull and out of it, like HR.  Tragically, the HR people have a lot of say in who gets interviews.  And HR people, and people like Cindy or myself, have people over them they have to answer to, who are (and yeah, oddly enough it is possible) even less hip, trendy and even more out of it then we are.

Second, a fashion, a style if you will - is not you, its a collective decision that changes like seasons or tides, but with much less rhyme or reason.  And though they might take a long time to get going, they go away overnight.  I'm sure I'm not the only one in here my age who has pictures from my highschool/college days that my kids found to be just about the funniest thing they had ever seen.  And you're not going to be that age forever - which is the real shame except for the opposite being even worse - and what looks way cool when you're 20 will look kinda dumb when you are 35.

I'm aware that doing something so public and unhideable is a statement.  And I've always been unwilling to do much in that direction. I have pierced ears, I can wear long dangling crap to rock shows, simple studs for more business like settings, or take them out completely when its called for. It's flexible, and that's not a bad way to go - considering standard business dress, that leaves about 90% of your body open and free to decorate.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Cairus

Tekla, have you ever considered the fact that some of us are pierced not because 'it's trendy' or 'convenient'(how could it be?) but because it's what's right for us as individuals(like coming out as trans)? I've been pierced/tatted for years and here and there I've had a hell of a time getting employed, but the truth is I don't WANT to be employed somewhere where a deeply personal matter as what I do with my body is up on the table for dissection. Need I remind anyone here that, as transsexuals, we're 'freaks' that scare and confuse other people with our 'personal lifestyle choices', just like those 'scary pierced and tatted' people do? That many of us long for HORMONAL AND SURGICAL body modification? Squabbling about the morals of a personal choice like whether to be branded with ink/pierced just seems laughable in the face of that. ('How permanent is it? Can you hide it? Think how hard it will be to get employed!'  HAH!) Have we forgotten our position/who we are? Or are some of us just unaware that the rest of society views vaginoplasty, chest reconstruction, hormonal injections- as terrifying, expensive mutilative blasphemy, something in the realm of those 'with problems'?  Even with my body jewelry out and my tattoos covered up, I am still a pierced/tatted person, and I don't want to work anywhere where pierced/tatted people are not welcome, because whether I 'pass' as someone who isn't, I'm still 'one of those' people. Likewise, I can get by without having anyone know I'm a ->-bleeped-<-- but where transpeople are hated, I do NOT want to BE!

And forget not, Tekla, your 'uncool' and 'unhappenin'' generation will fade and die, and new blood/meat will be there to replace you someday. The cycle will then repeat itself; that's just the way it is. This thread is a discussion on how piercings affect our perceptions of gender, not a debate on whether or not they're 'cool' or 'acceptable'.

That said, and getting back on topic, I think body jewelry and ink are both androgynous in and of themselves- and they lean either way based on the individual. It all depends, as others have said, on location and your own facial composition/physique- a piercing can highlight a feature or obscure it. A septum ring for example, obviously obscures the area above the mouth, while highlighting a symmetrical nose. An anti-eyebrow highlights the temple, so on and so forth. Some body jewelry is more 'feminizing' due to stereotypes- i.e., belly ring, madonna, temple microdermal... But most locations are pretty unisex, and dependent upon you: what you look like, what you're highlighting, and what jewelry you put in it. Body jewelry can be cute/tiny/sparkly, or 'scary' and spikey, making you look unapproachable. So... Yeah. In short, the major variable is You, and what you do with it, how it makes you feel. An earring could be the manliest thing ever, if it made you *feel* girly, then it would be girly unto you. Elijah mentioned earlier that he felt his snakebites were masculine. Feeling more masculine= being more confident as a man= better attitude=helps with passing, at least emotionally/confidence wise. In that way, they *do* make him more masculine, because that's how he feels about them and what they mean to him, which naturally will be reflected in his attitude.  If you can't keep earrings without that nagging feeling that they make you femme, then yeah, you may do well to get rid of them- no one will know you had them pierced anyway, once you remove the jewelry, so not to worry. :)

Someone earlier in the thread asked where to buy jewelry online, I'd recommend bodyartforms.com; I've ordered a few hundred dollars worth of jewelry/other supplies from them over the years and they've always been great/reliable, plus they send you freebies if you're a repeated customer.
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icontact

I've always wanted small gauges in both ears, like an 8 or 6. However, as fanatic as I am about my appearance, I feel like always having to put in the plugs would be annoying, let alone paying for the piercing, the many gauges I'd have to buy to stretch the holes...just so much work and I wouldn't want to always have gauged ears every day.
Hardly online anymore. You can reach me at http://cosyoucantbuyahouseinheaven.tumblr.com/ask
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Cindy

Quote from: Hanlet on January 24, 2010, 08:06:29 AM
Cindy, a snakebite is two lip piercings, one on either side.



Thanks Hanlet.

Does look a bit over the top for me :laugh:. I don't have that much lip :laugh:

I read the post by Cairus, which I agree with. I hope I wasn't coming out as 'preaching' about what people should or should not do. It wasn't my intention by any means. I was just trying to make an observation of how visual cues can impact in daily life. And yes I can assure you I know exactly how my visual cue has impacted on my life. Well that's not totally true, I'm not sure what the people who HAVEN'T called me a poofter, sleaze **, vomit bag and various other, very, unimaginative, comments think of me. But then again I've never asked any one. Some people just give an opinion without being asked :laugh
Just another comment, I saw a guy last week with his (bald) scalp tattooed extensively, front, top, back, sides the lot. The only thing I could think of was the pain it must have involved.  ::) How much do tatts hurt BTW? I don't want to find out personally :laugh:


Cindy

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Radar

Quote from: CindyJames on January 30, 2010, 01:59:45 AMHow much do tatts hurt BTW? I don't want to find out personally

It depends on the location and pain tolerance. I'm heavily tattooed yet they're on places that can't be seen when wearing work clothes (for professional reasons). They're on my back, wrap around to the ribs and on the hips with a few on my upper chest. I have none on my arms, legs neck or head- so you wouldn't even know I was tattooed unless I was wearing a tank top or shirtless (someday :D).

Tattoos have a kind of burning, stinging sensation but it's not as bad as people think. Afterwards they have a burning sensation for about a day. The most painful places for me was the ribs (many agree with this). I've also heard that low fat locations- like wrists, ankles and feet- hurt more too. I'm sure getting a head tattoo isn't too pleasant either. :icon_doh:

For me personally the worst part of tattoos is when they're in the healing stage of itching and flaking. It itches so much but you can't scratch it or you'll ruin the colour. I put alot of cocoa butter lotion on them to keep them moist and reduce itching but they still itch like hell.
"In this one of many possible worlds, all for the best, or some bizarre test?
It is what it is—and whatever.
Time is still the infinite jest."
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myles

All my tattoos are also covered up by work clothes. The more fat or flesh you have around the area the better. My back ones hurt the closer to the spine I got.- Funny the job I am trying to get now I don;t think they would hire me if they knew I had tattoos.
As for piercings, today I check in our coworker meeting and the two guys who have facial piercings both work in the back and have no customer contact. The company policy is if it is too much they will just put you somewhere where you do not have to work with customers. The unfortunate thing about that is it really limits where you can work and promotions.
Myles
"A life lived in fear is a life half lived"
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Radar

Quote from: myles on February 05, 2010, 03:57:41 PMMy back ones hurt the closer to the spine I got.

I thought right over my vertebrae would be more painful, but oddly along the sides of the spine- but not on the bone- hurt more.

Quote from: myles on February 05, 2010, 03:57:41 PMFunny the job I am trying to get now I don't think they would hire me if they knew I had tattoos.

It's odd how it works. Even though my tattoos are covered my department is more lenient and can get away with more things in general. Yet the professional companies I've work for always had people with visable tattoos- in the more conservative departments- with no issues. Ironically, it's almost always been people in their 40s & 50s. :)
"In this one of many possible worlds, all for the best, or some bizarre test?
It is what it is—and whatever.
Time is still the infinite jest."
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Cairus

I think the sensation of being tattooed is a lot like being papercut over and over, at least the outline does- sometimes when I'm getting tattooed I close my eyes and can't help but imagine the artist has this big sheet of paper and is just sawing it back and forth giving me the papercut of the century. The other half of the time, like when big colored/shaded areas are being rubbed in, the feel is similar to having ones teeth polished at the dentist, with that grindy/rubby feeling combined with vibration and some dull pain. Immediately afterwards it feels kind of like a bad case of rug burn, and then as it heals, a sunburn. I've had my collarbone, fingers, and lower left back area tattooed, and surprisingly the meatiest area(left lower back) hurt the most, whereas the most bony area (fingers) was pretty tolerable. Everyone's different. :)
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