I woke up, I was like "Oh my god, did i really do it?" in my mind. I looked down, saw the bandages and I dropped my head back down on the pillow and took a deep breath and thought "I have done it!".
When I look back, it was a turning point in my life.

I didn't want to read this thread until after my surgery because I didn't want to program myself how I would feel.

When I woke up in the recovery room I was delirious from the anesthetic, but I remember franticly begging them to tell me they had done it and that I would never again have to pretend to be a man.  I don't know that they understood me or told me anything. 

They might have given me something to settle me down, because the next thing I remember is waking up in my hospital room.  My brother-in-law was there and asked my how I was feeling.  I couldn't stop grinning.  All I could think was that I never have to go back to trying to be *him* - how unbelievably wonderful!

- Kate

I don't remember any profound thoughts going through my head.  I woke up as they were wheeling me away from the surgery area to the holding area.  Mentally I was pretty wide awake, albeit a little groggy.  Everyone was speaking French except the guy looking after me would occasionally ask me in English how I was doing or if I was cold.  They had hot blankets they wrapped me in afterward which were oh so cozy.  I was just laying there enjoying the moment and felt totally comfortable.

I really didnt feel anything at all.  I felt like I had surgery.  No different than having my tonsils removed.  I didnt feel anything until the plane started descending to the airport in my hometown.  I felt teary knowing that I was returning complete but other than that, honey mine had shrunk up to nothing and actually when I looked at it for the first time, it didnt look that much different than when I went to sleep for surgery.  This was not a pilgrimage for me at all.  I just went and had surgery, but i have been a woman since childhood and I never dreamed about SRS at all like some of you did.  I just woke up 4 yrs ago and something told me it was time.  My name had already been changed to a females since 1985 and I have lived with men as husband and wife, etc.  I had the total life experience.  I have no clue what it was to be a man so I had no euphoric feelings when waking up.  I wanted a chocolate shake and a donut.  I watched tv the rest of the night and went to sleep with almost no pain whatsoeva.

Quote from: pretty pauline on January 26, 2010, 04:51:41 PM''Daddy's princess girl is now complete'' it was like omg I really am now a complete woman, all woman.

^^^ How to make an old woman cry!

That is beautiful! You were so lucky to have the support of your Dad.

QuoteDid any of you feel the time period strange.

It was 1974 - everything was "strange" 

Seriously, getting to SRS had cost me everything - my family, my home town, my friends - and I was starting life over from nothing at age 24. I did not know what lay ahead, I didn't know who I was, but I was ever so happy to have the chance to find out.

I felt confident and peaceful...and drugged up

it was a feeling difficult to express in words....  it's a good feeling but I'm not sure what it is yet...lol...i know i'm making no sense

When I woke up in recovery, I just remember thinking that it was done and then immediately wanting to know where my mom and dad were. I had no concept of time, they were actually out eating dinner. I just kept asking if anyone had seen them. They had left after talking to Dr McGinn, so they already knew I was out of surgery and doing well.

Quote from: missyzanta on May 24, 2010, 10:29:47 PM
I just went and had surgery, but i have been a woman since childhood and I never dreamed about SRS at all like some of you did.  I just woke up 4 yrs ago and something told me it was time.

WOW!  That's exactly how it was and how it came to me!  I thought I was totally crazy because I was not feeling the same things as the others were.  Now, while I await my date, there's no anxiety, no fears--I'm just going through the motions gathering together all the necessary supplies and preparing for my recovery at home.  I feel much like a passenger being driven to my destination.  Very bizarre

I have to agree as well. There was no anxiety or fear about having surgery. I just went and did it. When I looked down for the first time, it wasn't this moment with the heavens parting and choirs singing, it was just seeing things as they were meant to be and the way I always viewed my body. I didn't have any big moment, it was done, and now I am moving on.

Krystin, I KNOW for a fact that you will be alright.  I was more afraid of waking up feeling amputated.  NOT AT ALL.  I woke up and got my phone immediately and called my girlfriend and told her i was awake.  i was TOTALLY alert as if i woke up from a nap.  Honey, you go in and all you remember is getting on the table.  I have heard stories of sore throats afterwards due to the breathing tube but I had NO and i mean NO soreness at all.  I asked the nurse did they actually put one in there and she said of course.  I dont know who your surgeon is but dont buy too much because everything you need is there at the hospital.  When I was released, they gave me a package of pads and my prescriptions and dilators and sent me on my way.  Half of the things I bought I didnt even use.  So dont throw away ANY receipts.  I OVERBOUGHT pads, underwear and I even bought adult diapers.  Still have half of the pads 6 weeks later and I didnt need the heavy ones at all.  I could have gone with panty liners since i had very little discharge and almost no blood, so needless to say the diapers have never been opened.  The surgery IS major surgery but it isnt like a bypass.  if you are seeing Dr. Bowers for surgery, the staff there will take better care of you than your mother would.  HONESTLY, and Dr. Bowers was a gem.  I am 6 weeks now and I am 100% and back to work and my daily activities.   If you have any questions just feel free to contact me and I will help.

Good luck but you wont need it, you will be fine.

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Post Merge: June 16, 2010, 06:53:39 PM

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Also, it doesnt look as bad as you would imagine.  I was told by my girlfriend who is a registered nurse that my vagina actually looked like a females right after child birth.  Dr. Bowers said that i can have penetrable sex 6weeks post and my girlfriend said that is exactly what they tell females after childbirth.  It just looked like a swollen vagina.  Pretty and smooth except for the incisions that werent bad.  The nurse MADE me look 2 days later because she said she wasnt going to apply the anti bacterial cream for me.  When she FORCED me to look, i closed my eyes and peeked and girl guess what, i didnt see or miss anything at all.  i said "OH, thats it"?.  I put the cream on, pulled my panties up and finished looking at my movie.  I have TOTALLY forgotten what was there before.  I know my experiences mentally are going to be different than some but I NEVER used my previous genitalia EVER and no MAN has EVER seen it or wanted to.  So it was non existent to me for the past 40 yrs and now i have forgotten how it looked because it shrivelled up 5 yrs ago when i started taking hormones.  I had been impotent for 10 yrs prior to that.  So it was easier for me to lose something that really wasnt there.  It had shrivelled up so that post surgery, it actually looked no different.  So all psychological experiences are based on your past after surgery.  if you lived as a man and had children and actually USED your penis then that might take some getting use to but if you are like me then girl you wont bat an eye.

Quote from: missyzanta on June 16, 2010, 06:45:21 PM
Krystin, I KNOW for a fact that you will be alright.  I was more afraid of waking up feeling amputated.  NOT AT ALL.  I woke up and got my phone immediately and called my girlfriend and told her i was awake.  i was TOTALLY alert as if i woke up from a nap.  Honey, you go in and all you remember is getting on the table.  I have heard stories of sore throats afterwards due to the breathing tube but I had NO and i mean NO soreness at all.  I asked the nurse did they actually put one in there and she said of course.  I dont know who your surgeon is but dont buy too much because everything you need is there at the hospital.  When I was released, they gave me a package of pads and my prescriptions and dilators and sent me on my way.  Half of the things I bought I didnt even use.  So dont throw away ANY receipts.  I OVERBOUGHT pads, underwear and I even bought adult diapers.  Still have half of the pads 6 weeks later and I didnt need the heavy ones at all.  I could have gone with panty liners since i had very little discharge and almost no blood, so needless to say the diapers have never been opened.  The surgery IS major surgery but it isnt like a bypass.  if you are seeing Dr. Bowers for surgery, the staff there will take better care of you than your mother would.  HONESTLY, and Dr. Bowers was a gem.  I am 6 weeks now and I am 100% and back to work and my daily activities.   If you have any questions just feel free to contact me and I will help.

Good luck but you wont need it, you will be fine.

---

Post Merge: June 16, 2010, 06:53:39 PM

---

Also, it doesnt look as bad as you would imagine.  I was told by my girlfriend who is a registered nurse that my vagina actually looked like a females right after child birth.  Dr. Bowers said that i can have penetrable sex 6weeks post and my girlfriend said that is exactly what they tell females after childbirth.  It just looked like a swollen vagina.  Pretty and smooth except for the incisions that werent bad.  The nurse MADE me look 2 days later because she said she wasnt going to apply the anti bacterial cream for me.  When she FORCED me to look, i closed my eyes and peeked and girl guess what, i didnt see or miss anything at all.  i said "OH, thats it"?.  I put the cream on, pulled my panties up and finished looking at my movie.  I have TOTALLY forgotten what was there before.  I know my experiences mentally are going to be different than some but I NEVER used my previous genitalia EVER and no MAN has EVER seen it or wanted to.  So it was non existent to me for the past 40 yrs and now i have forgotten how it looked because it shrivelled up 5 yrs ago when i started taking hormones.  I had been impotent for 10 yrs prior to that.  So it was easier for me to lose something that really wasnt there.  It had shrivelled up so that post surgery, it actually looked no different.  So all psychological experiences are based on your past after surgery.  if you lived as a man and had children and actually USED your penis then that might take some getting use to but if you are like me then girl you wont bat an eye.

Thanks Missy.  I'm going with the spinal so I won't have to worry about any throat issues.  As for supplies, I'm only getting lube and bed pads.  I was thinking of just using towels, but then I would have to do laundry and I don't really feel like doing that.  I live within walking distance of a supermarket, so I don't have to worry too much about getting what I need when I need it

Like you, I never really lived like a man prior to transition--in regards to sex and relationships--so I know I won't be missing anything.  I never married or had kids.  As a matter of fact, I never even transitioned on the job.  My entire history is under Kristyn, female.  I even moved to a new city from where I began my transition and haven't told anyone here except medical professionals about my status.

Thanks again for the vote of confidence, Missy   

you are welcome.  Now the lube you WILL need a lot of but I NEVER once used the bed pads I bought.  i assumed I would be flowing like a river.  That WAS NOT the case.  I keep a lot of paper towels in every room of the house because,  I dilate in whatever room I am in.  I also have 5 spray bottles filled with water and a few drops of detadine solution with a little alcohol and witch hazel.  I spray myself immediately after urination, dilation, etc.  I also spray my favorite chair i sit in if i dont have any underwear on.  I have never been so messy that I have to have a plastic bed protector.  Again, play it by ear but the only thing you are going to use a lot of is lube.

I think I woke up and I was like, "I wonder what is for dinner?"

whats for dinner!!! LOL...i was thinking the same thing...i remember them telling me that I'll be able to eat "as tolerated"...i could've eaten a horse!!!

i was very afraid of that amputated feeling...but its nothing like that at all..

btw..witch hazel?  what are you using that for....right now i'm using alot of plain ole vaseline but the most uncomfortable thing right now is the burny/itchy feeling...its not an infection.i am certain of this...its just real bad irritation...

Quote from: kaitlynm999 on June 18, 2010, 12:02:48 PM


btw..witch hazel?  what are you using that for....right now i'm using alot of plain ole vaseline but the most uncomfortable thing right now is the burny/itchy feeling...its not an infection.i am certain of this...its just real bad irritation...

Bruising, swelling and can be used as a topical pain killer, but I'm not sure how well it works for that

I can't wait when I wake up, i know when I had my breast surgery it was like the anestheologist said count down from 10 to 1 and here i go 10 9 8 7, then... I felt like going 6 5 4 but i was stunned that I was in a different room. It's the weirdest feeling ever when you remember how the room was before you blinked, then its totally changed when you continue from that black like X amount of minutes went missing in your life.

It's hard to explain, but anyways the first thing I did was lift the blanket over to see my chest and there she was 2 large mounds. I was also in this warm heat blanket and told the nurse to turn it off since it was like a sauna

I could remember the feeling like it was yesterday! The best part was coming back 2 days post op and the doctor showed me how to massage my boobs, i asked him to show me again knowing full well what he did.. it was so exhilarating hehehe

I wanted more meds! I don't think words could describe how happy I felt though. I was glowing for days!

 My first thought after SRS was "I'm freakin legal in George Bush's Amerika! " I thought now I can protest the wars and Katrina after effects and if I'm busted, they can't put me in with the guys. Who'd know how bad things would get with the BP spill and the idiots in the "Tea Party". I'm glad it's done cause now I can stop worrying about my issues and concentrate on getting Democrats elected. Our country is at another of many crossroads and an invigorated liberal base is a key element of success. Glad my balls are gone because defeating the GOBP is going to take ovaries of steel.

Quote from: Barbara H. on June 30, 2010, 10:43:59 PM
  I'm busted, they can't put me in with the guys.

I dont know about you but if i had a choice, i think the guys sounds pretty to me

Quote from: Jessica.C on July 02, 2010, 04:10:59 PM
I dont know about you but if i had a choice, i think the guys sounds pretty to me

In the black or latino wing preferably