After many years of struggle I am feeling much better, in fact quite good. If things had been different when I was young I would be many years post op. Having said that I am thankful for the internet, my wonderful therapist and to some extent this site. Modern medicine has allowed me to transition to my female self and soon I will have the vagina I should have been born with. I am finally rid of the many struggles and insecurities I had as a small feminine male. My 5'7" small boned body always made me feel so bad around the average large male because I was always hearing comments about my size and my lack of masculine looks. My size works quite well as a female. I was very nervious and distracted as a male because I was mentally a female. I tried to be a male because I felt there was something wrong with me as I did not like the things men like and I always wanted to dress in womens clothes. I am very relaxed now because I have fully accepted who I am.
I guess the reason for this post is repeat the often stated advice given here to accept yourself and stay the course. Ours is a very difficult struggle and we will probabily never be fully accepted, but we will be OK if we accept ourselves and support each other. HRT has done wonders for me mentally and physically; my body and mind loved the estrogen as it filled my system with the proper hormone and the spiro killed of the T that did not belong. My therapist predicted this and she was so right. I got up this morning took a bubble bath and put on my makeup. After putting on my bra and panties I put on a cute top and a pair of size 7 womens jeans. I looked in the mirror and felt good all over, Pam, a proud and accepting woman was staring back at me. I am feeling much better.
Pam
