Wow. It's been awhile. I don't remember when I left here, but I've turned 18, (I'm 19 now) had a girlfriend of 9 months, was engaged, broke up, moved several times, moved back with her, got kicked out, and that is where the story begins. I lived as a girl for almost a year during/after I was with her cause I didn't want her to break up with me for "confusing her", as she said. Looking back, it was stupid and I know now that I gotta live for me, and we weren't meant to be together anyhow.

Anyhow, she kicked me out in the beginning of December. At that time, I was still living as a female. In a way, that had its positives, including that I stayed in a shelter for part of my homelessness. I was in a few shelters actually, hopped the bus to a nearby big city twice, and came back both times. I've lived in my car, lived on the streets, I've been around. Currently I am living with my gay friendly friend who I met at the one shelter. He and I are both getting houses through a program that pays for our rent and utilities for a year while we get back on our feet, except he has already recieved his funding and apartment and I am still waiting on mine. I'm technically not allowed to even stay there, but seeing as my other alternative was the streets, our caseworker said I could stay there until I get my place and is conveinently ignoring the fact that I'm staying there. Bless that man.

Anyhow, if you recall, before when i was here I had no friends, and a non supportive family. Well, I was informed by an unverifiable source that my dad has passed, but I can't confirm it. Oh well. Never knew him. My mom is in bad health. But I have one amazing best friend, and a whole drag family. I introduced my roommate to the gay bar up the street one day last month...and since then we both go there every night. I started performing. There is another ftm drag king there...so he gets me. It's all good. I make a few tips here and there performing. I enjoy it, it really helped me to get out of my shell. I'm alot more positive now, don't care what people think of me, am not afraid to live life anymore. Becoming homeless really changed me for the better. I also gained 11 pounds of muscle from walking everywhere.

Anyhow, just thought I'd let everybody know I'm ok. I'm looking forward to the 12th to the 14th, when I'm doing a temp job selling consessions. With the money I can't wait to get another bottle of rogaine so I can have real sideburns again, and have enough left to pay to get my GED. Keep on keepin on guys...much love.

Dang... I dunno what I can say other than it sounds like you've been through hell and back... and it's good you've been able to find something positive from the experience.

Hey there, personally I don't have an honest clue who you are, but I got knocked down by your thread. I have true respect for how you're slowly getting back to your feet, and I really think it a great thing that you're letting the guys here know how you're doing. Best of luck and take care. Cheers. 

Thanks. I looked back at my old posts...I left here 4 months before I turned 18. Jan 30th was the 2 yr anniversary of my gma's death. For the first time, I couldn't visit her grave. My car broke down a month ago, and I lost my job then. It's overall hard. I just lost my medical coverage too. I'm going to be getting it back though.

When I became homeless, I was a sappy little bitch, to be honest. I was weak, I didn't know how to stand up for myself. But I had to learn quickly, i had no choice, to stand up for me.

It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I started dancing, and from then on that was the end. I became a very different person, no longer introverted, negative, depressed, anxious. I started to get in tune with my energy (I believe in energies and ->-bleeped-<-...I'm not wiccan but believe in some of their beliefs). That was when I started performing at the gay bar...I did my first show two tuesdays ago. Now I wake up and think...ok...what can I conquer today? Life is an adventure...even with nothing. My friend said one time..."I give you mad props..you literally have nothing, and you're still here and kicking ->-bleeped-<- down." I never thought I'd be like this. I always lived in my misery and used it to make me happy, in some twisted way. I've been called oddly brave...and I take pride in that. Whatever I go through, I know I have to go through. Suicide is no longer an option in my eyes.

heeey i remember you! glad to hear you're ok dude. i hope things get even better for you!

Hey that's awesome that your dancing! I'm gonna start drag preforming this month (I hope..) Great to hear that your getting back on your feet. I've been homeless before and it's nothing glorious. Very glad to hear your coming up out of it!

I'd love to talk drag. There are literally no other drag kings in our town. I'd be it! Little un nerving...