For 3 years, I lived in Chicago, about a 1000 miles away from my family and anyone who knew me as female, and I was out for the most part.  My girlfriend and our mutual friends all knew me as Kyle and referred to me as male.  I wasn't out at work, but planning on changing that soon.

Then life got turned upside down.  I dislocated my shoulder, sprained some ligaments, and was out of work for a couple weeks with my arm in a sling. I didn't really have enough money saved to be able to pay rent, and got kicked out of my apartment with 16 days notice. 

I ended up moving back home to live with my mom in Vermont where I still am now.  It was bad enough to be 25, and having to admit defeat and move back home, but it also meant seeing my family everyday and people who knew the "old me" everyday. I ended up going back to living as female again, and its been a weird experience. 

Other than being referred to by my legal name, and as female, nothing is really different though. I still wear my binder and boy clothes, and occasionaly get read as male on the bus or grocery store, and its been ok.    I'm embracing more of a genderqueer/ androgenous identity, and its been feeling right.

I guess I need to figure out what I really want to do as far as transitioning, and coming out again. I guess I just felt like I needed to explain myself a little, because I know I've made posts about being out and some about not being out.

Hey, Kyle. Don't you feel comfortable coming out to your mom while you're living at home? Why are you putting your self back into a conformist box again?

I don't know how your family would accept it, but I think it would help you to start the work of coming out to those who know you.  I know that it is a lot more work than just being out to everyone who didn't know you before.  If you are comfortable being androgynous or genderqueer, that's fine. 

It all depends on what you want.  And that's often the very hardest thing.

- Kate