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Dogs and cats

Started by Janet_Girl, February 08, 2010, 09:10:09 PM

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Janet_Girl

February 08, 2010, 09:10:09 PM
I get some funny stuff from some gals I know.  Here is the latest.

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

               8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
               9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
               9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
               10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
               12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
               1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
               3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
               5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
               7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
               8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
               11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...
 
               Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.


Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.  I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.  However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.  Bastards!!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.  I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.'  I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the TOP of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.  The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant.  I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move.  My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.....  For now..............
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Flan

#1
February 08, 2010, 09:29:06 PM
\o/
Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.
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Janet_Girl

#2
February 08, 2010, 10:17:41 PM
Such a cute puppy and on vacation too.
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V M

#3
February 08, 2010, 10:48:11 PM
LOL..... Day 983 of my captivity...
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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Muffin

#4
August 05, 2010, 04:45:30 AM
lol!!!!

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spinaltap

#5
August 05, 2010, 07:01:04 AM
lol, that was pretty funny, a very fun/creative interpretation of cat behavior.
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Hurtfulsplash

#6
August 06, 2010, 09:24:00 AM
Lol Janet, thanks for posting it.
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confused

#7
August 06, 2010, 10:25:20 AM
lol.yup ,that's  most likely what they are thinking -_-
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Shang

#8
August 06, 2010, 10:30:49 AM
That's great!  I laughed because it's possibly true.



See the gray kitten (he was named Spanky)?  He was completely plotting how best to get my dog to listen to him. 
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insanitylives

#9
August 08, 2010, 04:28:51 PM
Quote from: Shang on August 06, 2010, 10:30:49 AM

And you see that little fuzzball?
Thou Shalt Not Eat, Lest I Claw Thouest Eyes Out.

[yes, i have a sick sense of humor]
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Shang

#10
August 08, 2010, 04:40:24 PM
Sweetpea?  I wouldn't doubt he was thinking that.  He was really mischievous, but not as much as Spanky...Spanky was the master of ninja attacks on your feet while you sleep.
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