So i had my first appointment with the "general therapist" my parents went to last week. It actually went pretty well. She's knowledgeable in trans-related stuff and didn't even TRY to convert me or tell me i was "wrong" (which was a big fear i had going in considering my parents good mood after they spoke to her.)

I'm going to keep seeing her until i find an available gender therapist (which she DID suggest i do). She's basically going to talk me through my decision (without trying to convert or change it) so i can talk to my parents about "why" i am transitioning beyond the usual "it feels right to me" (since that is what she seems to think my parents need to hear from me).

One thing she picked up on (i didn't even think about it until now) is that i don't have a very clear memory of my past (when i was a kid.) That intrigued her (i guess) and she was very intrigued by my mention of my dreams. She told me to write out my dreams in a journal, and try to pick a topic and write about that in regards to my past - anyone ever had a therapist suggest that before? Just curious....

She also mentioned that she was curious about my hormone levels (suggested i get those checked at some point) and was intrigued that i have absolutely NO sex drive and feel no need for sex/masturbation (i was kinda surprised that came up, actually.)

All in all she was very nice, and very supportive. She agrees off the bat that i'm no where near feminine and that i did my research. Not once did she say anything negative or suggest that she thought i was anything but trans.

Now i have MORE homework, though >_<

((is already writing journal entries for Yoga and Animal Behavior class))

Though i don't mind the concept of finding and talking to other trans people in person, maybe find someone going through the same thing AND someone already gone through it (that was also suggested BTW.)

((feels much better))

Congrats on finding a good therapist .

Quote from: FolkFanatic on February 09, 2010, 01:13:26 PM

She also mentioned that she was curious about my hormone levels (suggested i get those checked at some point) and was intrigued that i have absolutely NO sex drive and feel no need for sex/masturbation (i was kinda surprised that came up, actually.)

I don't think a lack of sex drive can be considered unusual in trans people, because of the dysphoria. For a while before I realised I was trans my sex drive dropped considerably and it only got worse after that. I could easily go for weeks without much thought about sex. It wasn't anything to do with hormones, my natural T levels were actually quite high for someone female-bodied. On T now I'm definately getting my "mojo" back, and I feel it's mainly due to feeling more comfortable with myself.

Anyway glad the therapy was a positive experience, onwards and upwards from here.

FWIW the thing that helped me cement my decision to transition was meeting another transguy IRL who had already transitioned.  I then saw what was possible with T!  LOL

I'm one who has always had a huge sex drive, even if I never acted on it with other people.  And when I finally did (as F with a M ) it wasn't 'right' but I made do.  Hoping someday I can find a partner to do it 'right' with.


Jay

Quote from: sneakersjay on February 09, 2010, 04:05:29 PM
FWIW the thing that helped me cement my decision to transition was meeting another transguy IRL who had already transitioned.  I then saw what was possible with T!  LOL

I'm one who has always had a huge sex drive, even if I never acted on it with other people.  And when I finally did (as F with a M ) it wasn't 'right' but I made do.  Hoping someday I can find a partner to do it 'right' with.


Jay

Well, i did go to an "open house" a local GLBT group had (it felt great to introduce myself with my male name, really did lol) but didn't meet any transguys. There aren't a lot in my area according to some of the board members of this group (one of which was a transwoman.)

I'm going to have to drive a good hour to find any significant numbers of GLBT but i definitely think it would be worth it.

As far as "sex drive" i never felt comfortable with the thought of ANY kind of sex involving "female parts". Ever. Never desired to even try it. Solo sex drive on the other hand.... well, you can guess LMAO!

On the other hand, my mom is pretty serious that if i where to "do this" that they wouldn't be able to support it. I don't know if that will change with therapy or not. She is also under the impression than even though i'm 21, i'm not an "adult" because i live with them and rely on them for things (IE i don't 100% take care of myself, though i would like to think i'm pretty darn close to it!)

I'm a bit pissed off with her right now and i can't wait to see what my therapist says about that next Friday when i go back in. She (my therapist) was equally parts shocked, outraged, and a tiny bit amused when i mentioned my "missing underwear" and said right out that i should tell my parents to return it (or pay me back for it) and demand they stay out of my room from here on out. That at 21 i should be entitled to my own privacy.

I like this woman lmao!

She's also going to bring it up with them when they go back to see her (without directly telling them what i said, of course!)

When I was a teenager I had a very low sex drive because of my dysphoria. I was hating the puberty body changes, had no interest in men but didn't want to be with a woman because I would be seen as a lesbian instead of a man and just felt hopeless about it all.

Quote from: sneakersjay on February 09, 2010, 04:05:29 PMAnd when I finally did (as F with a M ) it wasn't 'right' but I made do.

Yep. As an adult my sex drive was still never very big until I imagined myself as a man with a woman. Doing that changed everything for me. It's amazing what the mind and imagination can do to help you cope.

FolkFanatic, it sounds like you have a great therapist right now even though she doesn't have alot of experience with transgender patients. In hindsight it's good you & your parents are seeing the same person for now. She can be frank and upfront with them but also know you and knows what's really going on (you never know what parents say ). Your parents may turn around over time and be more supportive- you never really know. I think if they continue to go to her it will benefit them and you. I hope they continue to keep seeing her.

Your therapist sounds cool. Congratulations, oh and good luck getting your underwear back.