Going stealth is one of those "hopey' changie" thingies that are just out of touch with what ordinary Americans want. By Golly!  You can't go stealth and hide your teabags or vicey versey ! High taxes are the enemy of stealth. If you are stealth, the American people want to see your certificate of live birth and a return to core values. Tom Tancredo!

The internet (just beginning) and the various groups that now exist, did not exist, when I decided to finally sort my problem out in 1989. I did not even know about the following terms  Stealth / Not Stealth, Out / Not Out.  Other members have given the classic definition of Stealth and I will do so here.

Stealth n. secrecy, a secret procedure. by stealth surreptitiously[1]
Stealthy adj. 1 (of an action) done with stealth; proceeding imperceptibly. 2 (of a person or thing) moving with stealth[1]

Well my life is not a secret procedure, I do not do anything in secrecy, because I'm doing all the things that other human beings are doing and my life is not a secret because I always tell people my life history, what I do not tell them is my medical condition, there are a lot of people who have, medical conditions and they do not reveal their conditions to outsiders, but do let their immediate family know.  So to be fair, my immediate family and extremely close friends know (and that is very few) about my medical condition.

So in regards to the terms Stealth / Not Stealth, Out / Not Out.  I personally do not care which terms you want to apply to me because I do not care in the slightest and I do not even use them.

Yes I'm well aware that certain government departments will have a permanent record of what I have done for example passport, birth certificate and citizenship documents.  If some one wants to garner that information and use it, then there is not a lot that I can do about it.   However, I will try and see what I can do find out who was responsible of releasing this information and take the necessary steps to ensure that it does not happen again. 

Which brings me to the white lies that I have to tell some times,  "I don't like it but the alternative is for me a non starter" as Saskia says.  Because, if I am out I would not be seen as a female, I would be treated differently and more than likely I would not have had the jobs that I have had, so why do I keep my life private? "its human nature to treat people that are different, differently from others".

As you can gather I'm a very private person, well hey that's me an I will make no apology for it.  I'm like Northern Jane after 21 years "on this side of the fence" I'm extremely happy being a female and extremely grateful to my surgeon.  But you ask, if I'm such a private person why would I come here and spill my personal details to you?.

Well I happened to see the documentary on 'Jazz' and trying to obtain my birth certificate (from England) so that I can have final closure on that part of my life.  These particular moments stirred my interest in the community again after 21 years in the woodwork so to speak and again Northern Jane said it best "Human beings are social creatures and sooner or later everybody wants some kind of connection with others of a similar experience. Particularly for someone who is stealth, the online connection is one of the few available". 

Finally to really spell out my feelings on the stealth or out issue.  Matilda says something similar to what I am going to say and that is "I have always been a female and I will always will be a female." and no I have never suffered from gender identity disorder, so therefore stealth and out terms do not apply to me, why? because I am a female.

Kind Regards
Sarah B
PS  When I get my birth certificate, I might just go back into the woodwork.
[1]The concise Oxford Dictionary (Thumb Index Edition), Clarendon Press, Oxford, Eight Editon

Be who you want to be

Quote from: Sheila on February 09, 2010, 09:30:18 PM
Gosh, it has been a while since I have posted here. About Stealth, I see that more people could care less about being stealth, that was my opinion the last time I was here and most would say they were going to be stealth.

It's a brave new world isn't it, Sheila?  This business of becoming more visible will likely spark off some battles, but ultimately I think it is a very positive trend for this community and will have good affects for us all down the road.

Stay strong .

Quote from: xsocialworker on February 09, 2010, 10:13:43 PM
Going stealth is one of those "hopey' changie" thingies that are just out of touch with what ordinary Americans want. By Golly!  You can't go stealth and hide your teabags or vicey versey ! High taxes are the enemy of stealth. If you are stealth, the American people want to see your certificate of live birth and a return to core values. Tom Tancredo!

Don't disappear Sarah B! Us "old fossils" have a role to play - we are the historians LOL!

Having a man in my life again, someone I care about and who loves me deeply, the more I wish to leave the past in the past in my 3D world. He doesn't need to be maligned by the narrow-minded.

I am still involved in Intersex issues but the TS stuff will strictly be on-line.

I'm not a fossil yet! But thanks for your kind support Jane.

I do not know what my genes say I am, but I do not really care anyway.  It would be interesting to find out and I have to have some necessary medical tests soon, so maybe I will talk to my personal doctor about it the next time I see her. Yes she does know about my condition. I only have had two general practitioners that know about me and she is one of them.

Kind regards
Sarah B

Quote from: Northern Jane on February 10, 2010, 09:45:34 AM
Don't disappear Sarah B! Us "old fossils" have a role to play - we are the historians LOL!

I think the role you play is greater than that. It's nice to have a few normal people around living normal lives, with all of their difficulties with these issues long past, to show those of us that are in the thick of it that there's some light at the end of the tunnel.

Quote from: Alyssa M. on February 10, 2010, 04:09:55 PM
I think the role you play is greater than that. It's nice to have a few normal people around living normal lives, with all of their difficulties with these issues long past, to show those of us that are in the thick of it that there's some light at the end of the tunnel.

As a slightly younger fossil (I merely date from the "Cretaceous" early 1980's era rather than the "Jurasic" 1970's era that the other two hail from ) I will certainly agree - there is definitely light at the end of that tunnel.

However I'm not too sure that I personally want to be thought of as normal! Normality usually sounds really boring to me. I'd far rather be thought of as a wildly creative fun loving and charmingly eccentric oddball

Quote from: rejennyrated on February 10, 2010, 04:54:08 PM
As a slightly younger fossil (I merely date from the "Cretaceous" early 1980's era rather than the "Jurasic" 1970's era that the other two hail from ....

JURASSIC? Ooooo! 

***Cat fight! Cat fight!***

Quote from: Northern Jane on February 10, 2010, 06:59:36 PM
JURASSIC? Ooooo! 

***Cat fight! Cat fight!***

Would not that be Sabre tooth Cat fight?  But given the title of Jane's other thread maybe Dinosaur fight. 

You look so happy Janet, not to mention beautiful .

Thank You, Jen.

Ok if I'm a fossil then I must be around the 'Miocene' period.  Which makes me younger than my Cretaceous and Jurassic sisters and the better looking fossil.  Because my bones have not been weathered as much.

I'm sorry Janet but us 'Fossils' were long dead before our Saber Tooth Tiger[1] sisters tried to take a swipe at us.

Hiiiisssss...

Kindest regards
Sarah B
[1] Late Pleistocene period 10,000 years ago

Those fossils and geologic periods are just bunk.  God created the earth with age.  There is no evolution.  The Flintstones is a documentary.

Quote from: tekla on February 11, 2010, 01:11:19 AM
Those fossils and geologic periods are just bunk.  God created the earth with age.  There is no evolution.  The Flintstones is a documentary.

LOL!

ya, gods can be tricksy like that

"I am the way the truth and the light... but just to throw any of you, who come looking for truth, off the scent I'm going to do a whole pile of extra work to make it look as if something else is going on.

Something completely false just to lead you astray and make you believe a complete falsehood.

Then me and my Angels can have a bloody good laugh at you! After all there hasn't been anything good on celestial TV since the flood!"

LOL Somehow I don't really think so...

PS - Apologies Sarah.B -For some reason I thought you were 1979 rather than 1989 - Miocene indeed - and I now feel terribly old!

i like this better: http://www.tsroadmap.com/sexuality/disclosure.html

Quote from: tsroadmapThe thing is, if you disclose, you tend to cease being a person who is fun to be with, of good character, having fascinating ideas or interests etc. You become just a "transsexual". Full stop. "Oh? So-and-so? She's a transsexual, did you know?". Not "she's really fun". Not "she does so-and-so". No, "She's a transsexual". She used to have a dick. I changed over to reduce the drama in my life and try to become a productive human being without a host of distractions about who and what I was etc etc and disclosing tends to defeat that aim.

When you disclose you are not actually saying that you are - for all practical means and purposes - a woman (who so happened to once have a male body and lived a male life). Instead you become a "transsexual".

Since transsexualism is rarely of any consequence to most people's lives, a "transsexual" is a caricature created by the media and urban myths. To some people "transsexuals" are she-males on porn sites. To others they are sexually predatory gender benders who hang around in the gay scene, tottering on their stilettos and sporting mini skirts while they look for trade. To others, they are crossdressers who lost the plot and probably have an issue with their mothers. And so on. Being a "transsexual"means havig one quality that totallyu swamps anything else you may be.

Usually, the only people who truly "get it" are those who have or have had a good TS friend and they will probably suspect you anyway, since they intuitively learn what combinations of androgynous aspects that are giveaways.

So when you tell someone that you've had a sex change, most people will immediately superimpose this caricature over the top of you. That is, the real you ceases to exist and they get the completely wrong idea of who and what you are, and all explanations tend to be seen with suspicion since it runs contrary to what they "know".

In this context, which is more honest? To let people see you as you are today or let them get completely the wrong idea about you? You could even say that, by not disclosing, we are protecting people (and ourselves) from their misconceptions.

All of which is fine - except that I happen the think that the carricature deserves to be shown up for the utter nonsense and imbecilic stupidity that it really is.

Why let people continue in their ignorance when the world can become better through mutual understanding. I believe in shining a light into those dark corners.

So I see myself as an educator, and in fact, what you actually find is that most people are more intelligent than these scare stories give them credit for. Most people now instinctively understand that what they see on TV and read in the papers is often oversimplified and maybe even distorted.

Yes sometime there are a few moments when people look at me quizzically and say "you? ... but you don't fit the profile at all..." etc but then 99 times out of 100 they will later come back and say "Thank you - I've now realised that the media myth is prescisely that - a distorted myth!"

And so you add another one who "gets it" to the growing list!

It's maybe not a vocation for everyone. But some of us have to puncture that baloon of ignorance for the world or future generations will still be going through the same hassles that some of us had.

Definitely food for thought Natasha (and Jenny.)  Seems like such a catch 22 sometimes, with each choice having equal parts right and wrong.  I guess we can only just let our own experiences be our guide.

Btw, does anybody have a good cure for insomnia?  This is getting ridiculous.