Reactive depression, which is what you have, is caused when we know something is wrong in our lives.
I'm sorry to sound blunt here, I care and sympathise more than you possibly know, but you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and work out what you are going to do with your life.
Yes, you want to transision now. No-one doubts that.
But the reality is, you can't. Unfair, sad, tragic?
All yes, but it's reality.
Make you plan. Work out your priorities. You need an education and you need a career. That must come first.
Then, once you have worked out how you are going to achive those, try to work out how you can integrate your personal ambitions into that.