Anyone know the Meatloaf song 'All revved up with no place to go'? cos that is seriously how i feel at the minute. I've got my passport with my new name and an "M" on it, my driving licence has been changed car insurance most documents but i still haven't had my first appointment with the psychiatrist and no matter how much chasing i seem to be doing nothing is happening. I've told all my family and my boss, and all the people at work now call me Alex I've started wearing shirts and ties to work but now I feel like I want to jump off a bridge cos there is NOTHING left that i can do and I still don't feel right

Maybe that wasn't it then.  Or it wasn't all of it.

But its a lot easier to blame everything on being trans. I get far too easily self absorbed to the extent of everything- even the colour of the sky- being all about ME. So if i start thinking there could be something else there as well then i might just send myself insane. Tho maybe that wouldn't be a bad idea??? If your truly insane then does your awareness of self disappear

If your truly insane then does your awareness of self disappear
No, but if your truly insane then you think you're OK, and everyone else is nuts.

But its a lot easier to blame everything on being trans
It is.  I've watched that happen IRL and on the net now for over 3 decades.  In some, almost blessed cases, it's that one thing, and that one thing alone.  Often though it's not.  And, to be candid, a lot of that stuff might well be a milestone like getting an M or F on the old DL, but to everyone else, perhaps not so much.  Calling you by a name, any name, you choose is easy, and that is 'acceptance' on one level, but it's not being part of the group, or the crew, nor does a name, or a letter on the DL make you 'one of the boys' or 'one of the girls.'  That kind of acceptance takes time, effort, and no doubt, some pretty radical thinking for a lot of people.

To the degree that a lot of this become self-absorbing (or that self-absorbed people find their way into it - both are true) is perhaps the greatest liability that all of this entails.  And the best advice, perhaps the only way out of that that I'm aware of, is to get involved in something much bigger than yourself.

Tekla- I like you.

Careful there big guy, that's a subject for a panel debate 'round these parts.

Yeah i had sort of gathered that from reading some of your posts but you nearly always put a smile on my face and you always make me think- just like you have this time.

Tekla has a way of getting to the meat of the matter in a very blunt way.  I like Tekla, too!


Jay

Shall we start the Tekla fan club thread

Quote from: alex k on February 13, 2010, 07:24:42 AM
Shall we start the Tekla fan club thread

I'm for it.

Wherever you can change your gender marker w/o being to a therapist first....I love your area. You're lucky. Alot of us haven't even gotten that far, and can't. There IS more out there. I found that once I got the focus away from drowning in my self pity, I almost cured my depression and alot of my anxiety. Opened new doors in my life. I don't mean to sound hardcore like...you're a horrible person, cause you're not. You just need to look up.

I know that when i get focused on one thing everything else ceases to exist. i also know that i'm rea;lly lucky to have got so far with just a GPs letter and i'm not complaining about that-I was just in a really dark place last night that i couldn't see my way out of- so thank u to all that dragged me out of it

It's cool dude. I still get those. Good luck. I can be a bit harsh sometimes without meaning to be :p

I won't hold it against you for life Luckily i'm totally out of the funk i was in last night and tonight everything is looking good. I used to have ways of coping but I'm trying not to use them anymore so when i hit a spiral it goes pretty deep pretty fast. But i'm back to my jolly self, I've lifted the rug and used the sweeping brush and now i'm thinkin what a good husband i'm gonna be this valentines day

Quote from: zombiesarepeaceful on February 13, 2010, 09:44:23 AMWherever you can change your gender marker w/o being to a therapist first....I love your area.

Seriously. In my state to change your gender on your DL you have to be on T, have changed your name (unless already masculine or neutral) and have top surgery.

Anyway, I was told this can be common in transition. You have a period of alot of changes, then things "level" out and you have little advancement, then you have a period of alot of changes, etc. I myself have been in a little advancement period for awhile due to things I can and can not change. It sucks but I know it won't last forever. Just remember it won't last forever for you, too. Do what you can do for now and keep your goals in sight.