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Here goes nothing

Started by LynnER, October 01, 2006, 07:36:17 PM

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LynnER

Its finaly come,  after a lenghty talk with my bandmates Im not waiting till after the 16th (my full time date) to come out to the show sceen....  Its happening tonight at the Michael Graves concert....  Im keeping it conservitive LoL    Tee-shirt and Jeans as usual but not the baggy ones.... My ones LoL

Im beyond nervous, I mean my bandmates really havnt seen me out either.... But tonight is the night and it will answer allot of questions for me.
Will this be the end of a 7 year love affair with my punk band?
The new beginning of my solo carrer?
Will Still I Stand be blackballed from playing the only venues left in El Paso (atleast while Im still around)

My band is something I love but at the same time its an anchor keeping me here, allmost holding me back, there the only reason I stay.  If tonight does not go over well, I will be moveing by the middle of November if not sooner...

If possable I'll have some new pics and I will let you all know how it goes......
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Nero

The best of luck, Lynn.
I hope all goes well for you tonight.
So, may I ask what instrument you play?
Just want to picture it in my minds eye. ;)
Im sure it will go well.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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tinkerbell

I wish you the very best Lynn!

My thoughts and prayers are with you!


tinkerbell :icon_chick:
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Buffy

Good luck Lynn...

knock em dead honey....

Buffy
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TheBattler

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LynnER

im doin this from my phone..... Graves may not makeit, his van broke down just outside of town... there are over 150 not too happy people milling outside not counting those inside.....  im totaly pannicked, my makeup is melting off with the sweat... im sorry, i feel like a let down...  im going to take my bands advice and give into to fear....
Posted on: October 01, 2006, 09:34:59 PM
well, i was right, as i walked in a fight broke out when i finaly walked in over a flamboyant gay boy... we, my band pulled him out but...  i think that answess my question about transitioning in the band.., well, heres to moveing... i cant hide me anymore, and i cant stay and play.,. i hate this place.
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TheBattler

(hugs)

Just be yourself Lynn. That is about the best thing we can do.


Alice
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Buffy

Hey Lynn,

I am so sorry this happened.

There are times in our lives when we have to move on, to further our own ambitions and needs, no matter how painful this initially is.

It appears you are in that situation now and you know that whatever you decide, the people here love and support you.

Becky

xxx
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tinkerbell

I'm very sorry this happened Lynn,  :icon_sadblinky: but perhaps it is the little push you needed to make your other dreams come true.  Things always happen for a reason, and you'd be surprised how life can work in mysterious ways...

Hang in there Lynn and remember that we are all here to listen and cheer you up!

:icon_hug:

tinkerbell :icon_chick:
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BrandiOK

  <Super big hugz> Lynn......

  I'm sorry your evening went so badly sis.  I know it seems like everything seemed to collapse based on that night but it was one bad night Lynn not an indication of how every night will be.  It's very unfortunate that it had to happen on your "debut" but it had nothing to do with you.  You were in no way the cause of what happened that night so I hope you will not use it as a reason to give up on anything. 

  You aren't transitioning in a band Lynn....you are in a band and transitioning.  Giving into fear only leaves you feeling empty inside after the fear is gone.  Think of all you have accomplished so far and you will see that you aren't the kind of person who gives into fear.  Your courage during this process is undeniable and you should be very proud of that.

   I understand a lot of your frustration, transitioning in the south comes with it's own unique challenges.  The tolerance level for these things in our area is borderline at best and often it seems overwhelming.  Since you're the only one who really knows if moving is the best thing for you right now I will leave it at that.   Don't let them bring you down Lynn you are so much more than you are giving yourself credit for and anyone who doesn't see that isn't worth the opinion they have.    :icon_hug:
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HelenW

I wouldn't be too hasty Lynn!  Yes, your debut did have a poor beginning and that poor boy who was in a fight got the short end but I think audiences may be alot less tolerant of those standing next to them versus the people on the stage.  Entertainers, I believe, are given a little more slack because they're "up there" and not among "the heathen."  And I think that people generally give the 'artistic types", ie musicians, more leeway too.

So I suggest you try again the next time out to see what happens.  This time was just bad luck, that's all!

Hugs & Smiles!
helen
FKA: Emelye

Pronouns: she/her

My rarely updated blog: http://emelyes-kitchen.blogspot.com

Southwestern New York trans support: http://www.southerntiertrans.org/
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Hazumu

Hey, Lynn;

I echo what Brandi said.  You can be on stage, even if it's not advisable to be in the crowd.  What did you do before to develop a stage persona?  That persona was not 'you', but the other way around.  Can you develop a 'kick-*** girl drummer' persona?  Ahletic tank top (w/shelf bra and a little compression for control,) long gym pants, jazz dance shoes (what I use) -- something like that?  If you sweat like I sweat when I play, makeup is kinda' stupid unless you like the Alice Cooper look.

I'm sorry to hear you had such a bummer time at the concert.  We trans-girls learn to fear males, just like the G-girls do from an early age.  You're a kick-*** drummer (I've listened to the band demos), Please stay with it a little longer before you learn top-40 and join a Holiday-Inn band...

Karen
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stephanie_craxford

I guess I'm coming in at the end of this Lynn...

Transitioning is tough for anyone one no matter what.  I would have to say that there are very few who have transitioned without any problems.  Being able to transition in familiar suroundings and where you have the company of friends has some huge advantages but at the same time there are some equally huge disadvantages.

There are many who feel that to truly be successful then one should transition in a new location where no one knows you, and maybe in your case, as you suggested it would be the best thing for you.  I know that for myself that although my transition is going incredibly well the one thing that I hate is that everyone knew/knows me, knows my background and will probably always say "did you know that she..."  It's human nature.

To pull up digs and start a fresh is very daunting and it is what Gill and I have done to a degree, by moving back into a different part of town where no one knows me.  Of course this is by no means as drastic as moving to a completely different city, state, country, but what the heck.

Transition is for "you" not anyone else.  No one is going to benefit from your transition but "you", and while we try and accomodate and compramise for those around us "you" are the important one, so take care of "you" first.

Steph
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LynnER

     Im sorry about last night....  I was so nervous, and I got so scared....

Its strange though,  we played one of the best shows weve had in a long time.  The croud, those who stayed atleast were one of the most energetic bunches of people Ive ever seen....  Probably cuz everyone was high strung over the headliners not showing up.....

The hard part though, was after we were done playing, the same people who were beating up that guy came to us to congradulate us on a good show, and offer to buy us a few rounds....  I smiled and went along with most of it ( I did shake there hands) but I felt like throwing up the whole time....

My bandmates dont want me to go, but I think they realize its inevitable at this point.  The slackers who never put in before are jumping up and finaly offering, after so many years of joy rideing on the big guy and my shirttails to put in to get our newest album released....  I think it may be too little too late...

Next show is on the 18th,  2 days after full time.  Im not going to flake on that one.  This time Im going to make sure all my friends will be there to support me. And if needs be I do have a can of pepper spray LoL.....

I have to face my fears, not let them face me down.    Thanks for the support everyone, even if I fell through     *Hugs*
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Brianna

Lynn, I'm talking to you about this even as we speak, so you know how I feel. You are a very loved person here, and don't let this minor setback bother you or slow you down.

Peace, love, beats,
bri
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Buffy

As I said before....

Knock em dead honey.

Go out there head held high and show them what Lynn is made of...

I wish I could be at the next gig, shouting, screaming and supporting...

Becky
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LostInTime

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BrandiOK

Work it....work it....make it yours..... :P   ;D
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Melissa

Go show them that you can successfully transition and be in a band.  Be the success story.

Quote from: Karen on October 02, 2006, 09:04:02 PM
If you sweat like I sweat when I play, makeup is kinda' stupid unless you like the Alice Cooper look.
Well, a little eyeliner and maybe some lipstick can go a long way.  Plus you can get waterproof/stay-on versions.

Melissa
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