Jenny, I'm terribly sorry. It just slipped out. Normal is a horrible thing to call someone. I'll never do it again. My heartfelt apologies.
Natasha, that's a great link. Andrea James has definitely been a role model for me in my transition, not least because she's very open to differing views and experiences (as in, being out herself, but publishing that letter from soneone who is stealth). I notice that even now: people who know my legal name before or when they meet me (e.g., people I have to deal with in university administration; friends I met even shortly before transition) treat me a lot different than people who don't (most other business; friends I met since).
Jenny's point about being out in order to debunk myths definitely rings true as well. A lot of the (few) negative reactions I've had have to do with people thinking I'll be some icky ->-bleeped-<-, cut off from "normal" society, like the ones they see in the street (people passing and exchaning a knowing look, etc.), you know, as opposed to all the ones that they never notice because they pass well. People are really bad at noticing how selection effects contribute to their stereotyes. But I don't think that changes the fact that it's completely a personal decision.
Ideally I wish stealth would become irrelevant: I imagine an ideal world in which all the caricatures were debunked, and transitioning would seem just slightly more relevant to one's history than having had an appendectomy.
