"One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman."
-Simone de Beauvoir

I am not a "woman," and do not believe that anyone really is, in the sense that "woman" is an impossible ideal, a target towards which "women" spend their entire lives fruitlessly running, or being pushed. Gender, to me, is individual; there are as many genders as there are people. I use female pronouns in everyday life, and present enough as female to give people something, at least, to latch on to. I sometimes dream of being quite feminine, and I certainly did so frequently as a child, but does that qualify me as "woman?" I don't think so.

I would have to say...neither.

Quote from: K8 on June 30, 2009, 08:07:42 PM
Me too.  I always thought I would be happier as a girl/woman but I could see I wasn't.  (Maybe I'm just too literal. ) 

I am now ten weeks into living fulltime as Katherine and am still not sure whether I was born a girl/woman or that I am or ever will be a "real" woman.  And I really don't care.  However, I do know now that I was right when I was 4 years old - I am happier as a girl/woman.

- Kate

I wrote this almost 8 months ago.  Now, deeper into my transition, I have realized that I am a woman.  This isn't just something I want or that suits me – it is who and what I am. 

For me, transition has been a journey of discovery.  And this is one of the things I've discovered: Despite my anatomy and my upbringing, I really am a woman.

- Happily Kate

i was born with all of the male parts, but i am female

To me, this is one of those questions that is often asked, but is rarely phrased well enough for trans-folk to give a good answer.
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It pairs two subjects (sex & gender) together under the term "female"...but it fails to make clear which subject is intended.  This plays to the general ignorance most non-trans have regarding sex and gender.  To many of them, there is no difference...they see the world in extremes of black and white...all male...or all female.
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It's kind of like asking whether a mule is a donkey or a horse, and expecting that a simple one word "donkey/horse" answer will clarify things.  If anything, it would just confuse the issue even more...at least...until the audience is able to consider the possibility of an answer outside of the two extremes.
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For me:  Male body, female gender.  Currently working on correcting the body.  That's how I was born.  Neither...and both.
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(but please...don't call me a gender mule   )

I chose "I'm not sure" simply because I don't know or care "how" I came to be. I'm just dealing with what I have now.

My mom told my therapist all the classic signs of a trans kid, of course in the late 80's, there wasn't any real knowledge of it, even with university of mn phs a short drive away.

yeah all the stuff to fix is annoying, but there are worse things I could do, like dwell on the past.

Quote from: Kay on February 21, 2010, 05:02:29 PM
To me, this is one of those questions that is often asked, but is rarely phrased well enough for trans-folk to give a good answer.
.
It pairs two subjects (sex & gender) together under the term "female"...but it fails to make clear which subject is intended.  This plays to the general ignorance most non-trans have regarding sex and gender.  To many of them, there is no difference...they see the world in extremes of black and white...all male...or all female.
.
It's kind of like asking whether a mule is a donkey or a horse, and expecting that a simple one word "donkey/horse" answer will clarify things.  If anything, it would just confuse the issue even more...at least...until the audience is able to consider the possibility of an answer outside of the two extremes.
.
For me:  Male body, female gender.  Currently working on correcting the body.  That's how I was born.  Neither...and both.
.
(but please...don't call me a gender mule   )

What if you were a fabulous gender unicorn?
I myself am a gender narwhal. 

Lulz aside, this is a good post, and I agree. I also think, though, that the people saying "it doesn't matter" have a point - it's not really about where we started - it's about where we are, and what will make us happy now and in the future.

The farther I live, beyond transition... the more I realize that I was always female. 

Quote from: PanoramaIsland on February 11, 2010, 03:28:47 AM
I am not a "woman," and do not believe that anyone really is, in the sense that "woman" is an impossible ideal, a target towards which "women" spend their entire lives fruitlessly running, or being pushed.

Very well said.

Quote from: Nero on March 05, 2010, 03:53:15 PM
Very well said.

I'm glad someone's with me on that. 

Absolutely born female.

I's be a girl... LOL 

Impossible to answer. I'm abstaining. Obviously I believe I was born female, unfortunately my confounded genetics said I was intersex and therefore somewhat inbetween.

Not a shred of doubt in my mind that I was born female.

I can but assume I was born with a female identity, as I don't know of a time when such wasn't the case.

without a point of referance I had no idea that I could be female in a male body until I was 9. Then I discovered the word that explained what I had been feeling all along. Transsexual.
I have always been female in spirit and mind, it just took me a point of referance to see it. I have always been female, even in my most male moments. Those moments were my mask hiding the girl within.

I've always felt female. I've been asked questions like this from people about a thousand and one times. I've ruminated and thought back to the earliest memories I had and they are feminine. I do not identify as a male but do/did have some great people in my life who I am proud to call friends that are/were male.

I was born with a male body. But my mind says I should have a female body. Despite that I am a woman now. Shrug.

Considering that gender is largely a social construct and I was socialised to be male, I definitely wanted to be female.

Well, I think there is a thing that is constructed that you can call gender. But I also think gender covers other things as well, non constructed things.

You could put this another way though casorse, I was socialised as a male too but I was a girl getting socialised as a male. I would have prefered to be socialised as the girl.