I just hate it.
I want to have the surgery but the idea of dilating sounds like a most annoying and unnatural chore.

I don't know the finer details but all I hate about it is the idea of a highly rigorous schedule. If it was "every day or two" I don't think I'd give it a second thought.

Oh, well that and the apparently inconsistent schedules used among different surgeons. I sometimes think if I ever got to have SRS i'd try to find out which surgeon had the easiest schedule and keep that one instead of the one my own Doc recommended. After all, if anyone was closing up the Doc would have to revise their lenient program, right?

It is pretty annoying and time consuming, and when you factor in that you will need to do it forever, it can be a little intimidating.

The important thing I think is, if you are interested in having SRS, don't start to dread dilation or think of it too negatively. The more you hate it the harder it is going to be to continue to do it for the rest of your life. Just think of it as an extra hour or two that is set aside each night for relaxing and maybe watching a film (that's what I do). 

Also, it's important I think that if you are having SRS, you need to be motivated and commited to devoting the time needed to dilate and heal well. Laziness leads to scar contraction and tiny vaginies. Routine and commitment will make things much easier.

It's (dilating) as exciting as watching paint dry, but it's the price of freedom to have "indoor" plumbing.

and ofc there is also the added appeal of organic dilation

Never bothered me in the sightest. I just thought of it as rites of passage... A price I was proud to pay for my new anatomy.

It's only so frequent for the first two or three months, and if you heal up good and sensate it can even become quite pleasurable.

at first it's tiresome but you get used to it.

Regardless of the surgeon, the first 8-12 months schedule is rigorous with dilations starting out at multiple times per day through to multiple times per week.  Following that, the schedule is much more flexible.  But, yes, it is life long.  Just like having pierced ears, if you don't open it up periodically, it will heal up.  And after all the pain and expense for that, do you really want it to just go away?

Another alternative to vaginaplasty if you really hate the idea of dilation and have no intension of ever having vaginal intercourse, is a simple penectomy.  If you decide later to actually have a vaginaplasty, you would then be required to have a sigmoid colon style.  It is much less expensive than having a complete SRS and may be an option if that is your wish, though you would really have to discuss that with your prospective surgeon.  And actually, that is what Christine Jorgensen had when she had her SRS.  There was no option for a vaginaplasty then.

-Sandy

I do beg to differ slightly... after a couple of years it really isn't going to heal up as long as it is put to some regular usage. At least that's what I've found. I do dilate occasionally now... just as precaution but I've often gone six months or more without and I've certainly not lost any depth or girth.

It sounds like it's painful the  first few times. But I'm looking forward to doing it.

FWIW I hate pumping.... same deal.  Twice a day, every day, as required by my surgeon... I do it because I want the best results, which is why ladies dilate.  But yeah, esp. when I have no privacy (kids).


Jay

Jay, I don't know what pumping is, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know. 

Jenny, the notion that you can do it much less often after a while (more like once a week or month rather than day) is reassuring, even if "a while" means "a decade."

Being pre-op, I don't have the capability of doing it yet.  But I look forward to it as part of the package.  I've done a lot of things I didn't like in my life because I knew that I needed to do them to get to something I wanted.  If I want a vagina then I'll have to dilate - end of story.

Now when I have to actually do it, I may change my mind...

- Kate

Quote from: Natasha on February 21, 2010, 04:52:53 AM
at first it's tiresome but you get used to it.

After 4 years it still hurts. I just read a book.

Quote from: Myself on February 21, 2010, 01:27:38 AM
I just hate it.
I want to have the surgery but the idea of dilating sounds like a most annoying and unnatural chore.

After doing it for over 6 months, I can say that it feels very natural now.  It's like brushing your teeth, I don't think about it, I just do it.  But, it's cool I no longer have to do it in the morning if I don't feel like it; the extra sleep is good.
 

I'm going under the assumption that a time will come when (say when you are down to doing it a time or two a week) when what was a chore done in a precise manner for an appointed amount of time has now gradually become something that you can use an appropriate "toy" to do and....shall we say....enjoy some "me time" in the process.

(which of course, if I gain a high degree of sensation and am orgasmic I would probably want a good bit of "me time")

Am I assuming too much on that front?

Quote from: Myself on February 21, 2010, 01:27:38 AM
I just hate it.
I want to have the surgery but the idea of dilating sounds like a most annoying and unnatural chore.

There are times when I feel absolutely horrid after a particularly hard dilation session, but I swallow my pride, and squash those feelings of questioning why? after feeling like I've thoroughly and utterly violated myself in a most painful and devastating way, with a shower and visions of a brighter future.   Luckily the "bad" dilations are few and far between, and a good attitude helps to keep them at bay.....

I'm 4.5 weeks post op, and in that "dilate 3x a day" time.   It's also the time when my body is trying it's hardest to close that new vaginal hole, and I'm fighting it with all my might.  It's laborious, and if completed actively, quite a bit uncomfortable, and I'd daresay painful.  However, I know this intense period does end, and even though I'm just at the beginning of this journey of daily plunging, I know that I'll be through this and onto the next stage of less dilation in no time, in relative terms.   I like to look at the bigger picture, and dilation is nothing compared to the sacrifices and pain that I have made thus far within my overall transition, and to the advantages of having a vagina, the 'fruits' of which I have yet to enjoy... but wait for with great anticipation.... driving my dilation forward, one depth plunge, and 3 stirs at a time ........

I know it's all worth it, with all my heart.  And you will see me smiling through *most* of my dilations, gritting teeth through the hard parts.... one of the Stargate series that I have eons of DVR recordings, playing on the TV   .....  Watching Lieutenant Colonel John Shepard's cute little smile and snappy humour seems to help ....   
 
Good Luck, Best Wishes,
Melan

Quote from: Laura Hope on February 21, 2010, 10:51:56 PM
I'm going under the assumption that a time will come when (say when you are down to doing it a time or two a week) when what was a chore done in a precise manner for an appointed amount of time has now gradually become something that you can use an appropriate "toy" to do and....shall we say....enjoy some "me time" in the process.

(which of course, if I gain a high degree of sensation and am orgasmic I would probably want a good bit of "me time")

Am I assuming too much on that front?

No that is pretty much it!

I'm not a sex maniac - but find that my normal regular sexual activity is enough to keep things in good shape. The dilators get used just once in a while because I know that when I started I could put one in all the way, so it's an easy way to tell if I've lost any depth. I haven't.

I realise I may have been exceptionally lucky because I honestly don't think I've ever had a really "difficult" session, and the idea of it being painful makes me shudder. That must be horrible.

Dilating is important because the vaginal cavity created during gender reassignment surgery is not supposed to be there, so your body would normally do what it would do with an open wound.  It would tend to close it and this is why dilation is important for post operative girls.

Now having said that, after my surgery, I had packing in place of course for a week and I vaguely remember the packing coming out and being reminded not to distinctly about dilating.  I was made aware of the the vagina collapsing, but again I only have vague memories of this.

As far as I can remember I was told I needed to dilate, however no hard or fast schedule as far as I can remember was ever laid down for me to follow.  The following week after leaving the hospital I attempted to dilate to the best of my ability not withstanding my initial troubles.

Now as to the dilating implements.  I was not handed five different sizes or lengths to do the dilating.  Basically all I had was a piece of soft rubber rolled up and a condom was put over the top, then tied.  This was inserted into the vagina, come to think of it it was cumbersome to do so and remained my basic method of dilating.  Sometimes it was left in overnight.  I was also given or one was brought for me, a hard smooth dilator and this dilator was around 2.5cm (1 inch) in diameter and I also used this in the ensuing months and years.

As mentioned before in other posts I was back to work two weeks later after surgery and I said I was dilating once in the morning and once in the evening.  However I'm reasonably sure that I was not even following this schedule precisely.  There were times in the ensuing years, there were months on end, that I did not even dilate and there was no organic dilation either during those periods.

Currently I have two smooth dilators, both are roughly the same length one is 3.5cm (1 and 3/8") in diameter and the other is 2.5cm (1") and once or twice a week I will insert one for awhile then followed by the other.  So at this stage of my life I have finally settled into a reasonable routine of dilating and if I happen to miss a session I am not going to worry about it in the least.

However, this obsession with the rigorous dilation and frequency that some of the surgeons are telling post operative girls is more than likely not warranted.  Why? because I had my surgery over 19 years ago, my dilation schedule was virtually non existent to say in the least and currently I have 3.5cm  (1 and 3/8 inch) opening and a depth of 16cm (6 and 1/4 inches).  I would have to suggest that a research project come up with a more realistic dilation schedule for post operative girls, than the myriad of schedules that are currently being used.

Do I hate dilating no, when I dilate I do it for two reasons, one to err on the side of caution and the other for enjoyment.  The only times when I do not dilate, I will let you guess as to why!

Kind regards
Sarah B

Quote from: Laura Hope on February 21, 2010, 10:51:56 PM
I'm going under the assumption that a time will come when (say when you are down to doing it a time or two a week) when what was a chore done in a precise manner for an appointed amount of time has now gradually become something that you can use an appropriate "toy" to do and....shall we say....enjoy some "me time" in the process.

(which of course, if I gain a high degree of sensation and am orgasmic I would probably want a good bit of "me time")

Am I assuming too much on that front?

Obviously can't speak for dilation but on the pumping front that's what I do    Kills two birds with one stone, so to speak.   I guess that's why they invented door locks!!

Jay